Seeking employment after leaving last job can be depressing and emotionally draining.
Cause whatever job you get next it's going to take up a large amount of time and energy.
And more than likely, unless it's a specific career you trained for, went to school for, it will be some job you could really care the less about, working for a company that you have nothing invested in, and they have nothing invested in you.
Labor for pay, that's basically all it is, labor for pay.
And it's depressing knowing you're about to use up 8-12 hours a day laboring away for company you don't own.
And you can only hope the environment you're working in, which includes co-workers, help make that time more durable and not worse.
You get to the point in your life where you realize you can't impress people, things are 'rigged', glass ceilings and all.
No matter how hard you work, nothing will become of it, not a raise, no compliment, if anything you'll simply make those around you resentful.
Employment is like a Marriage, it really is, it's a relationship that takes up a lot of your time and energy, and if your not happy in it, it won't last.
And most people over you, are like emotionless drabby droids with no personality, and whom just assume they know more than you. They're totally locked in their own little roles or positions.
Starting your own business is really the only way to go, if you can afford the start up.
To me there's a big difference between 'work' and 'employment'.
To me the Native Indians worked to survive, early settlers to this continent worked, they weren't employed, did not trade their labor and time for some meager wage, instead they worked to survive, as such pay off can't be measured in coin.
It's how people learned about life, science, the earth, crops is by working, not being employed.
When people worked, crime was way down, families stayed together, values were better understood.
When people are employed, all that went, or is fastly going out the window.
I've been off for about a week now, have returned to natural state of 'freedom', but do to 'economic realities' living in world which has build shrines to money, than I'll have to find something to do again soon.
What does it feel like searching for a place to work for?
It feels like (imagine you're a woman), and walking into grungy Bar down on the peer...
(or to be fair, imagine your a young attractive male, walking into a gay part of town, where everyone has all the 'contracts', so you have to do business with them.)
Either way, you have to 'deal', sell yourself, to people, institutions that you know will never ever fairly compensate you fairly for your time and worth, but you know you must sign contract with someone in order to eat and pay rent.
So you try to find the least exploitive person to sign contract with, everyone wants to dance with you at first, flirt, it's all good, they offer you this and that, anything to get you to sign contract and go home with them.
Home = work place, Contract = Application or other binding terms of employment.
You know they're all about the same, regardless of colorful 'fronts' they put on, in the end you know you'll become a labor slave to them, have to clean floors, mop, and the longer your there, the less they'll appreciate you.
You'll come home to tired and worn to pursue hobbies, mentally shot at end of day.
And in the end you'll be earning just enough to stay poor.
But again, you have to cause the level below poor is Homelessness.
So when your off, your off, and it's not that you're not thrilled to get back out there and work, it's rather you're not thrilled about going back and working in environment that always seems to suppress your spirit.
So you get by by simply always looking ahead, telling your self that in '2 months' or '4 months' you'll have saved enough money to do this or that.
But when 2-4 months pass, do to unexpected expenses, you're in exact same spot, as if on a treadmill, burning energy, burning life, but really getting no where.
That's why it's so important to at least find something you enjoy, and get paid for it.
But the less education you have, the less picky you can be, the less jobs are available.
Labor is labor is labor.
Anyways, I have a few more days to think about what I want to do next...
Last Edit: Mar 31, 2014 14:07:06 GMT -5 by X factor
I've been out of steady work now for a few weeks, and physically I've never looked better, on the inside though, turmoil, not do to just being alive, but rather do to knowing I have to make employment decision again soon. (Or do I?) The responsible thing is not to wait till last moment.
Back to original comment in that I've never looked healthier, at least in the mirror, than I have in months.
Work, doing the same repetitive stuff over and over again, around the same dry personalities, over and over again, just seems to prematurely age you.
It's odd, I feel worse on the inside, do to worrying about a lot of things, and probably do to drinking a bit more than normally would (if you're depressed, alcohol does not help).
I'm so use to being independent, the idea of surrendering that just depresses me.
The idea of having someone else decide my schedual depresses me, the idea of having to ask if it's OK to go home, or go do something that needs to be done, depresses me.
I've been free of that for the last 4 years or so, or near so, and to go back to a slavish schedule, I don't know if I can do that again, unless job is loaded with benefits and opportunities to advance.
I can't stand haphazard schedules, like one day 3-11, the next day 10-4, the next day 4-11, in other words corner store or department store type of scheduling.
Nor do I want a job that pushes your body to such physical limits that by the time you get home there's nothing left.
Employment is just depressing to me now, unless either working for self or doing something you absolutely love.