The rat race, been really been thinking about getting out of it, verses getting more into it.
It's a race you can never ever win.
Life is a storm, and you only have calm moments between the storm.
Governments, institutions, everything, have become so greedy, so profit driven, that earnings really can't keep up with cost of living for many.
Your body simply wears out before ever getting a good return for labor.
Same with running a small business or contracting service, so many fees, extra costs, taxes, repairs this that, that at end of day you're like 'Why am I doing this?'.
Everything you earn just gets sucked back into the system.
And it never ever ends.
The only real way to beat the system, for a common labor types, is to simply step outside the system, radically reduce monthly bills.
But like so many, I've gotten sucked back into the system, have gotten comfortable, have a gym, a/c, clean place.
I've gotten comfortable.
That's what the system wants is for you to get comfortable, like a cow in a dairy, where as the cow is eating hey the machine is sucking all the cows milk and nutrients out of it.
This is what happens to us when we get comfortable, as long as we're fed our hay, belly is full, we let them milk us in so many ways, low pay, high rent, high insurance, high groceries, high mortgage, high auto payment, hi phone bill, hi cable bill and more.
We're like cows getting milked.
I have a few more days to decide how I want to steer future, well not really, but could possibly buy small RV and prepare to just 'move out' in the fall, 'out' as in off the system, sort of.
Or could double down in business and try to earn more money, but with that comes higher expenses, higher losses, more risks and more stress.
Just not sure what to do right now.
But am tired of falling for this BS that 'Oh, if you just work harder and longer you'll over come'.
I'm not a cow, can only work so long during the day before mind and body just break down and totally loose interest in what I'm doing.
One would have to be on cocaine to just work 18 hours a day like a super charged robot.
Oh well, it's Saturday night, time to relax and just enjoy the weekend.
Last Edit: Jul 31, 2016 20:08:16 GMT -5 by X factor
And steam is not free, motivation is not free, it's not just there, as many who currently have it think it is.
Motivation takes a foundation of other factors to be there.
Love, sense of destiny, encouragement, friends, even lots of money can help. And family.
Without those, motivation doesn't have any steam.
For some reason when I was homeless, I had more of the above than I've got now.
I had less possessions, had no real safe or secure place to lay down every night (accept in vehicle I had at the time, a van) I had nothing, but I did have motivation, and it all seems to just be gone now.
It's as if now I'm just waiting for the end to arrive.
I can also see why a lot of people stay homeless, cause it's easier to just dream and make excuses than to actually make an effort day to day to make that dream or better life come true.
When homeless you just wake up, walk, sit, drink, bs with others, drink some more (or other stuff), get in some silly mischief, eat, then sleep, wake up and do it all again.
All the time telling others what you plan on doing one day when back on feet.
Getting back on feet is easy, it's staying there that takes determination, cause the system is brutal.
And once you start acquiring stuff you can't just back away, can't just quit working or you'll loose everything again, credit will go bad again, rent or mortgage won't get paid, eviction ect.
So once you get back into the sytem the pressure to maintain is non stop, there is no break, not to mention you may not even like what you're doing, which can seem like torture after a while.
Then you realize that what you really want to do takes more education than you have, which means money, lot's and lots of money, then you have to have the time to go get that training, and if not in school for years can be overwhelming, then depression can set in as you realize you're stuck just going through the motions with little or no fulfillment.
So now you feel you can't go forward, can't go back and are just stuck in one spot.
It's a hard spot to be in and all has to do with lacking or losing motivation for various reasons, and it won't just come back magically.
It's not like on TV where in one episode some one will find their 'moment', that spark.
Real life is not like that, it can be, but it's not guaranteed.
The further up you want to go, the more difficult you realize it will be, obstacles, people, personalities.
Being homeless was a lot easier, that's for sure.
Oh well, I trudge on, maybe that second spark will arrive soon in some odd form, like in the Movies.
Thinking about dropping out of rat race soon, easier said than done
If only role to society from now until I die, is to labor, come home tired, and not earn enough to get anywhere, than what's the point?
May as well go live a Grizzly Adams type life, only much cleaner version.
But todays world makes even such a lifestyle of seclusion, hard.
Cause no matter where you go, need a income, license, and place to stay.
You can't just camp off the land anymore since every square inch of land in world now is owned by a Government or business or private property.
There is no more frontier land or space available, everyone is being funneled closer and closer to cities, and in U.S. West Government taking over land, and pumping foreign populations into traditionally wild west areas.
Everything is changing.
Not only that but Cartels and other shady people also utilize back country areas now, traps, hunters, drug smugglers, cops, gps, farmers, ranchers, tourists and just noisy people. It's like there's no place to go anymore to just be alone and live if near broke.
If super rich you just buy own land, and live happy and free on your 100 acres of private property.
But if not super duper rich, than basically have to transverse through land already owned or occupied, the same way wild animals do.
And cops, sheriffs and other types do not like strange people hanging out who seemingly have no purpose or job, in rural areas that is, they'll drive you out quick, like in the movie 'First Blood'.
Drifters, small rural areas do not like drifters.
So it's like you're left with choice of working slave wage job and getting no where ever, and trying to stay motivated, or becoming a drifter.
Or greatly simplifying personal comfort, maybe just living in very small used RV that's paid for while working part time.
But if motivated type, would get bored of that soon and would naturally fill the time with other activity.
Have no easy answers.
Me personally, I'm just tired of the rat race, like a road to nowhere.
No easy answers here, not today anyways.
Last Edit: Jun 18, 2016 9:57:59 GMT -5 by X factor
Watching really touching, revealing documentaries on WJCT a subsidiary of PBS, about heartland types, poor whites, that main stream never ever talks about...it's quite revealing actually.
I mean like there's many rural areas that are becoming 'ghettorized'...jobs leaving, industry long left, drugs moving in ect.
WJCT does a good job covering these in depth stories that other ratings driven networks don't.
You'd think all 'whites' were rich and lived in castles, the way media only likes to focus on urban poverty.
But it's just not true, not sure if ever was true, but for some reason since nations inception, all media, cameras only like to present the poor and desolate as being urban and 'black'.
Again, not true, even in cities now you have what I call 'urban hill Billie's' , at least in southern cities, walking same streets many hood blacks do, but media never focuses on their plight or endurance.
Sad how in light of this, communities that are falling apart do to no economic prosperity, Hillary still wants to dump, pump, continue to flood these same rural communities with refugees from over seas, where they, unlike the Americans already there, will be given lots of grant money for living, school, college, and even business grants to open stores where poor blacks and whites are out of work, but then go to store of foreign owner to by cheap food.
Did not intend to go political here, but hard not to when seeing what's going on in the back lands of U.S. that get no attention.
I think it's just assumed, do to medias lack of coverage, that if white, must be doing alright.
There's a whole class of forgotten people in this nation, and because they don't live in the cities, it's just assumed they're flourishing.
Many of our own citizens nearly living 3rd world, if cameras would only do some investigating.
But surprisingly, of all networks to do such investigating, it's PBS...cause they're not ratings driven and can take their time and cover stories like all news shows did 40 years ago.
Fox and CNN, all they cover is politics 24/7 now, they've become hybrids of the Jerry Springer show, fighting, shouting, he said, she said, type of useless tabloid stuff.
Last Edit: Jul 31, 2016 20:33:32 GMT -5 by X factor
One reason why hesitate to sell extra vehicle is cause I indeed was homeless before, meaning lived without street address to come home to.
My home was wherever I parked for the night, or during the day.
I lived inside van at time, it was my shelter.
And every since then I see the value in vans, cause if ever have to go homeless again, nothing beats a van for shelter...
Although not the van I had, I learned the value of a van, after living in one, bedding in one for nearly a year.
1. Keeps you out of shelters, who in their right mind would want to sleep in a shelter, where those who work at such places treat you as if sub human. And those have to bed around are just plain odd, mentally ill, poor hygiene and more.
Shelters are scary places to bed down in, especially if still 'fit', and redeemable, cause you're sleeping around a lot of people who are not, and my experience is a lot of people who are not redeemable, rather than lift you up, will try to drag you down to their level, and even try to wreck your life by getting you caught up in stuff.
2. Vans protect you from the weather, the elements. Sure it may get cold out, but at least dry, and can layer up in sleeping bags, body heat is an amazing heater if insulated.
Also vans, any vehicle actually, protects from insects...but if have no working A/C, can be tough in summer time, especially if in arid humid area, have to park in shade during day, or won't be able to sleep.
3. If have van, even if homeless, gives you sense of respectability if applying for a job, or just driving around, gives you a sense of hope, that you can bounce back.
4. Can always park at 'RV' lot or trailer park, for fraction of price of rent. You'd be surprised at how efficient you become with space inside of van when it's your home, how creative you become, bed in one location, shelves in another, place to sit up in chair and relax, in yet another.
When homeless, the main thing is to be left alone when want to be left alone, and to have your own private space to 'recover' from long agitating day.
And a van can even provide a place to wash and bathe, yes, to wash and bathe, when homeless and living in van or vehicle, water will become your best friend, for with water can do so much.
And with all the money saving from not paying rent, and still working full or part time, can easily by lights, propane stove and more.
(Just don't 'gas' yourself, be sure have plenty of ventilation or that unit doesn't leak gas inside of vehicle)
Becoming homeless again for a while indeed is tempting, to be able to save up to $1000.00 a month!
$12,000 or more a year, including all associated expenses that come with renting.
For 12 gran could then turn around and by land, or larger used RV...but to me 'land' is what you really want, cash for land, so that it's yours, it's your home, to do with as you want, to build whatever you want on it (with zoning in mind)...(out west lots of cheap land, forest land, can do whatever you want with)
And once don't have to pay rent, it frees up your schedule tremendously.
1. Can work part time instead of full time.
2. All u have to pay is vehicle insurance, phone bill, internet bill, gas, ect, and that's it.
And if have newer car making payments on, so what, (as I do)...that's even better, cause have newer car, so when apply for job, or want to escape homeless images, just hop in newer vehicle and feel 'normal' and clean.
In the past all I had was van, but now have two vehicles, one I'm making payments on, so my life would be even easier actually.
If went homeless again, while working full time, would actually have way more Cash to spend, and cash is key, could pay down credit card bills for one, and just buy other things.
Could get 'storage' lot, even large garage sized storage unit cheaper than rent...
I'm not saying I want to be homeless again, cause it can be rough at times, even dangerous.
But am saying it's doable, as long as have goals in mind and realize it's a path to a greater means.
I mean if working full time now, yet maxed out on bills, have no extra money ever, than what's the point?
Yet if homeless, and do it right way, it's like giving self a $1,200 a month raise or so...
That's extra cash can use to pay off debt, by house, down payment on house, buy boat, house boat, go back to college, trade school, ect...
And or just save up for retirement, and or invest extra saved money, but must be disciplined.
Wow, I make being homeless seem fun...
But also have to still work either full time or part time in order for that to occur.
And also when living out of van, can live anywhere, don't have to be picky about 'job' you work, as long as earning at least say from 300-500 a week, you're set.
And if lucky, and earning more, like 1000 a week, than you're really set.
All the money you'll save, you'll be rich again, while being homeless.
Anyways, time to conclude this...got a bit carried away...just want people to know being homeless is not the end of the world, some times it's just the beginning of a better world and existence.
I sometimes think about going 'homeless' again, in order to save around 1000 a month.
Rent or mortgage is what sinks many in this nation, land of the free, yet fiscally stuck do to so many bills.
If willing to go homeless, again, for around 5-6 months, while still working full time, the benefit to self would be like giving self a 14 dollar an hour raise or more or so.
I mean to not have to pay out 1/3 of your income, or so, to rent or mortgage every month, oh just think of the fiscal advantage.
I've done it before, the question is could I do it again?
I'm a bit older now, and not sure if in same 'mental' playful spot I was when willingly went homeless before.
I wasn't totally homeless in that lived out of, slept in Van...
I didn't actually have to sleep on the streets, or curb or in homeless shelter, my van was my shelter.
Can't stand homeless shelters, or the types who congregate around them, they drive me insane, and all of them aren't 'nice' as depicted during holidays, as city officials seen on camera feeding them food.
Just can't see self sleeping in 'dorm' style lay out around dirty azz others who snore, have demons in them, and smell, gross.
So if did go homeless again, would do as I did before and sleep outside of shelters, and in own vehicle.
Yes, it can be humiliating, and degrading at times, but so can being broke all the time.
When homeless, while still working full time or near such, you'd be surprised how quick cash builds up.
And when have money, on the streets, = power.
And not sure why many homeless chose to look so poorly, in that when I was homeless before, shaved, and always looked 'sharp', sexy and exercised, jogged, ect.
Looking 'rough' and gritty is a chose, and not result of being homeless.
When I was homeless I chose to look like a model, clean, slim and shaven.
In that was still connected to 'world', had job, was in school, and still had hope.
Now I'm back in the 'system', and can't say I'm any happier, in that the system simply sucks all your income away from you, and ages you slowly.
I'm still healthy, and young enough where maybe could give homelessness one last try, as way of accumulating money.
Not having to pay rent is like giving self a 700-1,200 dollar grant every month.
With that could pay down all bills in literally weeks, then could save for..
1. Deposit on land or small house
2. Buy RV
3. Save up for school of choice, graphic engineering or flight school
But life on the streets isn't easy or always safe.
looking back, I think I was happier then, on average, than I am now, so much less daily, meaningless BS to deal with.
Now I earn, but in constant fear of losing what I earn on stupid bills, repairs, fix this or get that towed type of stuff.
Yes I earn now, but as soon as earn it gets slowly bled away from you.
Like a weekly meaningless rotation of nothingness. There is no meaning to any of it, unless doing it for someone you care for.
I guess that's why 'family' or 'families' give people meaning in life, or even just being in a loving relationship enough to change perspective on things.
But when it's just for 'self', it all just starts becoming meaningless after a while.
And no matter what you do to save, you just can't, do to low pay and so many mandatory bills, license renewals, tags for vehicles, insurance, rent, mortgage, utilities, food, heck even food can run you hundreds a month.
And talk radio hosts call this 'living a dream?'.
Being near broke and seeing your physical efforts add up to basically nothing is a dream?...for who?
And will millions of immigrants piling in, pouring in, the standard of living will begin to drop even more for the working class.