I think the only way I'd be OK with suicide is only if and when I felt 'I' had had enough, that 'I' was ready to move on, and that 'I' felt there was nothing more joyous for me down here above or below on Earth.
I'd have to be comfortable with it, and not influenced by any outside source.
It would have to be a totally internal peaceful decision.
Where fighting and struggling just to fight and struggle, no longer was appealing, or just seemed pointless.
I'd have to be in a 'spot' where I felt no love, and had no one to love, existing kind of like a 'rock', just there.
My main fear about suicide is that I feel if ever tried to do so, would 'botch' the attempt, say using a hand ____.
I feel if ever tried to do that, the same torturous spirits that torment life while alive, would 'botch' the attempt, and instead of instantly perishing, would instead survive, only now would be disfigured or handicapped for life, and thus things would be worse.
I feel spirits that torment some, in various ways, need their victims to stay alive, otherwise they can't torment anymore.
I've read stories, seen pictures, of those who attempted suicide using violent methods, just to live, and it's graphic, and would never share on here, but can do own research, and that's my fear.
And pills?, heck no, way to slow, by the time the pills took effect, you could change mind, find out you just won the lottery, or other good news.
Jumping off a bridge, again heck no, cause even as falling could have feelings of regret, and I never want that if made such a choice.
If I ever committed suicide, I'd never want any delay between method and demise, cause to me, anytime to think about it during the process would give 'evil' one last jab at you, in that notice how things 'slow down', when faced danger or in a accident?
How 5 seconds can seem like 10 minutes?
Well to me, same would apply while committing suicide, in that from observer may seem instant, but to 'self', that instant could feel like an hour, a whole hour of no return where 'evil' could torment you while fading, call you horrible names, make you see horrible visions and more, taking their one last hits at you as you fade.
Hanging self, never, seems to painful, choking and feeling your neck bones crunch, and again alive for to long, thus have time for regret.
Suicide bombers, when they go, that type of demise seems pretty instant, in that body organs scattered to smithereens, no repair possible, it's just done, and no time for regret.
No time to feel good or bad about own demise, you just vanish with last thoughts on mind.
I think the best way to go, although not suicide, would be when a person passes away while in a coma, no physical trauma, (as far as we know, no telling what the mind is doing, dreams, good or bad)
Or to die in surgery while highly medicated.
I think the most violent type of deaths are when people die young and health, like in accident, or drowning, when healthy enough to 'fight' but not enough fight to win.
This may sound odd, but I think when you're truly alone, you're less likely to commit suicide, cause when truly alone, I mean like have no one, no friends (outside of job), no family, nothing, nada, I think it dawns on you that if killed self, absolutely no one would care.
I notice people who commit suicide, more times than not, always seem to be in stressed relationships, but I notice those who are truly alone, whether homeless or otherwise, don't commit suicide at the same rate cause of the above reason.