Today didn't turn out as bad as I thought it was, but day still not over...
I dreaded today, I dreaded every second of it, as I awoke last night and was enjoying the stillness of the moment.
I dreaded today, thought it would be hellish.
So far not as bad as I thought it would be, do to magical personality, luck, and who knows, maybe even a good positive decent 'God'...I don't know.
I'm not one who claims 'God' is ever on my side, I don't use God like that.
I watch the news, see the world suffering, starving kids, civil wars, people drowning, as such I'm not one to ever believe 'God' is ever looking out for just me, when there are so many others in more dire need.
I'm not that self centered.
But none the less, Day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
What moves you forward when you no longer feel loved, or love anyone?
Even ugly people feel loved, have love in their lives. Even ugly criminals feel loved, have love in their lives, have people who for odd reasons still care about them, send them stuff in prison, visit them in insane asylum.
Even ugly dictators with foul characters, who destroy the lives of thousands, even millions, even they are still loved and cared for by many or a few.
But what if you fit none of the above, yet aren't lived by one single soul out of billions?
Car shredders take something that was engineered to be an effective sleek machine, with a purpose, and at end of useful life pulverizes it so that it's no longer recognizable when it comes out other end.
Life does this to people to, pulverizes them in all sorts of ways.
Everyone has a unique way of being pulverized, like punishment catered to each persons worst nightmare or scenario.
For some that could be loosing money, for others getting a divorce and watching family busted up, yet for others getting injured or ill, beat up, being humiliated, or a combination of all of the above.
Or if in war torn area loosing all one has to terrorists, bombs, being tortured ect.
Purpose of this is to broaden suffering beyond 'self', cause when focusing on 'self' to much can feel 'self' is the only one bad things occur to.
It's why writing and or reading can be therapeutic in that it broadens the perspective.
It's what a friend or trusted family member is suppose to tell you, but not everyone has that.
Not everyone has any one who has any remotely vested interest in how they do in life anymore, whether they live or die.
Live or die not just in a physical sense, but live or die in a well being sense also.
One of the grosses feelings in the world is when no one cares what it is you're going through.
Also, if you're going through bad stuff, if no one is going to help you, why even listen to them?
Words are meaningless, talking just to talk is meaningless, and when some are suffering, or feel like they are, the last thing they want is an audience, like the way reporters on TV pretend to be interviewee's pal, concerned, but they're really only gathering dirt, then put out ugly report about interviewee's interview following day that paints them in bad light.
It's as simple as this, if someone cares, they will help, if not they won't.