1. When you stop believing in a loving creator and start believing that your existence is totally random, no different than that of a fly.
2. Insanity is wanting to be forgiven, but not having anyone, anything, you feel wants to forgive you. forgiveness takes love, it takes love to be forgiven, and if one feels they can't be forgiven it's because one feels they are not loved by anything.
3. Insanity is feeling you're no longer destined for anything.
4. Insanity is when you stop being a positive influence on others around you.
One of many remedies for insanity is love and purpose.
Woke up feeling absolutely terrible today, this morning before 8 a.m.
Didn't feel that bad last night though, but woke up feeling like my emotional guts had been ripped from me.
Even while I was dreaming I felt OK, dreams were decent, a few were troubling maybe, but nothing like how I felt when I woke up, which was devastated, not in a physical sense, but emotional sense, out look sense, reality sense, not being happy with current reality sense.
Never thought I'd get to a point in life when I feel trapped, and don't like any options given to go forward.
Where everything seems like drudgery.
And where I feel I'm only used for labor and not a darn thing else.
Have to look people in the face whom I despise, people who robbed you of opportunity to get ahead.
Yet wasn't strong enough, didn't have enough motivation or zest, to carve out a new path.
It's hard to have drive when totally alone.
No emotional back up or nothing.
Like fighting the war of self preservation, self actualization, all alone.
No one tells you 'Hey, you can do it, just keep trying, I got your back'
Nothing like that that many take for granted, instead you're just all a lone, knowing how little value you have to others.
Life wasn't meant to be lived like this.
I mean even rotten people in criminal orginizations have support, emotional support, where as I have absolutely none. I have to tell myself that I'm worth something, cause no one else does.
Not all people have the spirit or mentality to worship money, and to do what must be done to aquire it, which is pretty much be ruthless towards others, and rob self of own humanity.
When money is your god, it turns one into a monster, makes one lie, cheat, steal, rob others (corporate type of robbing).
Capitolism would be fine if people, I mean common working types, got paid enough to pay bills and relax, instead of always having to hussle, take on jobs that are dangerous, but low pay, there by risking life and limb just to still be poor.
It's all a sham, and those who say otherwise gain from the sham, or control the sham, and need everyone else, the labor pool, to keep believing things will get better, when they really never will.
Life just never stops charging at you, if you stop working out, you become weak, if you stop being a labor slave, you'll end up sleeping up under an alley, and getting chased off by cops, and city workers, and challenged by other homeless types.
It just never stops, just being a good decent person has zero dollar value.
That's when you know indeed, the all mighty dollar, money, has become mans god.