What do people from your past really bring?...be it family or other?
I mean what do they really bring, what emotional snares do they plan on throwing at you?
Obviously I'm a bit bias here, about people or even family members coming back into your life from the past.
I don't like that concept at all, at least not in my circumstance, why?
Cause people from your past tend to petrify you 'as is', the way they remember you or their perception of you when last spoke or communicated, and if it wasn't good then, won't be good now, just more stress.
Funny how the people closest to you, supposedly, allow you to change the least.
They have in their head 'How you are', and nothing can change that, not even time, they want to forever hold you hostage to their version of you which suits their needs but not yours.
It just seems people from your past, particularly family, won't allow you to change and evolve, won't accept the fact that everyone changes and evolves, they'll accept that that occurs in others, be it famous athletes or entertainers, but they can't accept that it happens to 'you' as well, especially if no one has been there for you.
You have to change and evolve or die of sadness and depression.
And if no one has been there for you, who are they, or anyone, to question who you are or what you have become?
Not only that but then they often want to burden you with news and information you have no control over, and it's usually bad and gloomy.
'This person is going through this, this person is going through that, this person is sick, this person asked about you ect'
Can't do a thing about it, especially if barely hanging on by a thread yourself.
You try to tell them how things should be, at the time, no one listens, and when things go nuts, want to call you to tell you what you already new would happen if they did not have enough faith in you to listen when you told them.
I don't know, I just don't need the past anymore, family or no family, there's nothing I can do about anything anymore, I now realize my limitations.
The emotional bonds, sense of loyalty and love just isn't there anymore.
Love is not automatic, you can't vanish from some ones life for years, not be there for them, betray them, then just call up and expect to have same bonds as if 13 all over again.
'Time and Space' changes a lot.
For a change I want people, someone, to see value in me, value in my life, and help me succeed or feel whole for a change, instead of me always being burdened with making others feel whole.
When it comes to family, I'm just back to writing old fashion letters, email, all that crap, the way yahoo, google and ect, the way they try to wrap everything into one, has spoiled many a relationship.
I mean when younger, a kid, you compartmentalized your life, as parents did.
You were one way around friends, another way around teachers, another way around parents, another way around siblings another way around employer.
Yahoo mail and google ect, try to merge it all into one, so that all these different 'contacts' you have all are able to see, or pry, into all of your sides, sides in the past you would have kept hidden from others out of respect and just knowing they can't comprehend a plural 'you'.
I've learned, I'm sure many have, that people are comfortable with 'you' being the way they remember or want you to be, yesterday and always.
Grand parents want you to be one way, Parents only see you one way, peers can only imagine you as you were when left school and so on.
But with the cyber age of communications, it's all been combined, and to me that has never made sense.
If you have a romantic site or blog you're apart of, why would you want yahoo or google to alert a relative you're on that site?
That's absurd and gross.
As such, back to hand written letters for me, just keeps things simple.