Older nazi/aryan type, likes me...

Guess I'll call, not cause I want to, but cause can feel pressure building



I don't want to call, but feel pressure building inside, it's what happens when you actually have a heart that cares about others well being, even though they don't deserve it.

But when you have a nice heart you can't just turn it off and become dark suddenly.

It would be easier if you could, but you can't, and if you don't do what's right, there's that think called a conscious that eats away at you so that you can't have peace.

I don't want to hear their ugliness, but if I don't call it will just build up and be worse next time.

They were calling and texting earlier and I just ignored all of it, then turned phone off.

They don't care about me, this older Nazi guy, not in the least bit, conversations always about them, who screwed them over, their plans, their future, their perversions and so forth.

But I also feel by running and dodging them that it makes me weak...like I can't stand up.

Maybe if I start talking about God and Jesus they'll go away.

The sad thing about being a loving person



The sad thing about being a loving person is that that love in you never ceases, that light never goes out, and there's always a part of you ready to forgive, ready to believe such and such a person has changed, is changing, and will treat you better, but they never do.

It's near impossible being an angel in hell.

If you're not around other angelic souls, than there is never balance, just exploitation.

And the idea of giving up on someone is very difficult to a loving soul, near impossible.

You can really only hope that they eventually loose interest in you and move on.

As a single male, I'd rather be friends and hang out with an openly gay male whom I had other things in common with, than a fake pretend surface heterosoxual male who pretends to be homophobic, yet displays all the signs, emotional signs, of wanting male affection.



With openly gay males, assuming one likes you, and you have other things in common, you know where you stand with them from day one, and there is no head games.

But with these closet gay types, that's all they do is play games with yourself and others.

(Socially hanging out with insecure homophobic males is one of the most boring drab things one can do, cause they have no range, are very insecure, always picking at people instead of befriending them (which they really want to do but can't admit it) they're just no fun to hang out with, they have no range, zero, and is more like hanging out with your grumpy grandfather who complains and whines about everything, yet likes your company)

Signs or symptoms of closet gay types, or closet bi-curious types.

1. They always brag about their exploits of women when around other men or males.

They see women as objects, and creatures to be soxually dominated and abused, but not loved.

2. Closet gays or bi-curious types also love bashing gays, transgender ect, as often as they denigrate women in casual conversations.

Closet gay or closet bi-curious types love using homosoxual slurs all the time which is fueled by their own frail insecurity and 'fear of self or own desires'.

Men who constantly talk bad about women, are gay, or eventually will end up exploring that path.

And men who constantly feel the need to bash homosoxuals, are aroused by such types, and run scenarios in their heads all the time of romance with same sox partner.
This agitates them to no ends, and they take out their agitation by openly bashing that which they're attracted to.

If a male, a 'metro soxual' type of male

{Metrosoxual males are not gay, but often interpreted as being such by stiff, rigid, closet or bi-curious types who think any male who has style outside of their narrow view of manhood, must be gay, and therefore open to exploit} (more on this later)

My definition } Metro soxual male is a male who has broadened the definition of what it means to be male.
They broaden the definition through style, personality and interests.

Like most females have done, the Metro soxual male seeks to recapture gender identity territory that has become ever shrinking.
Where as females continue to expand what it means to be female, the male role continues to be shrunk and pigeon holed.

Every single identity women have today use to be male, but the fashion world, in the west, has managed to 'feminize' just about everything, from boots, to purses, even make up, which male warriors use to always adorn face with.
All that and more has been feminized, as such the definition of male hasn't left males with much wiggle room other than to look ugly and rough and serve a woman.

Metrosoxual males out right reject this notion, and simply consciously or subconsciously, seek to reclaim some of their own lost territory.

Metrosoxual males don't consider looking 'beautiful' to be an exclusive female trait, or skin care, or looking in the mirror to make sure face is groomed before leaving home.

There are many degrees of metrosoxual, some lean more feminine, others simply lean more corporate or yuppie 'clean'.

But all that aside, on the surface rough tough and tumble closet gay or bi-curious males, who don't have such freedom, tend to be attracted to males who do have that freedom.

So they latch on, putting on a façade, always bashing gays (as if you care), and always bragging about their exploits of women, all the while being attracted to you, first emotionally, then eventually physically.

You won't call them, yet they continue to call you, you run, they follow.

Instead of just being honest about their feelings, or confusion, they continue with their homophobic snarky remarks or female exploit language...and it's sick and gross to hear.

You wish they'd just leave you alone, but they won't and can't cause you've shown them kindness and a better way to be.

Honesty is the best policy, dishonesty produces dishonest behavior and tactics, honest simply sets one free to discuss whatever, admit confusion, admit moral conflicts within, but honest keeps one clean.

And is why I'd rather have a openly gay male friend than a single closet bi-curious male friend who wants to hang out all the time and who leans on you emotionally all the time as if you're their 'woman'.

People like that are emotionally volatile and almost infantile in how they think and reason.

I mean if they're so macho, and tough, and bragadocous (like to brag, bad spelling), than they should go seek out like company, they should go hang out at some Western saloon drinking whiskey around other hairy, homophobic men who love to exploit women, and just leave calm decent males or people alone to live their lives as they see fit.

Wish Nazi guy would just go away and leave me alone, but they won't



I wish this Aryan Nations, former Nazi guy would just go away and leave me alone.
I mean I know they don't really practice that stuff anymore, but even that aside I don't like them anymore, not as a friend anyways.

I'm everything they're suppose to hate, were taught to despise, yet now it's as if they can't function without me listening to all their problems.

I have like 6 texts on phone, which I was away from all day, so now I'm sure they're mad, think I'm deliberately ignoring them when truth is phone was in back room and just never bothered checking it today.

And besides I have better things to do than to have my peaceful Saturday (yesterday) tainted by or consumed with their own personal issues.

They don't ever listen to mine, nor would I burden them with my personal issues, yet they love dumping all their issues on me.

As if my only purpose in life is to listen to them...heck no.

I'm tired and very drowsy right now, I'll continue this tomorrow.