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Post by X factor on May 6, 2024 21:38:27 GMT -5
This may sound odd, but I really need 'me' right now, if I have any hope of making it in this world going forward.
It means I really need to mature, in certain areas of my life and behavior...if I don't, I don't have a chance.
Life can really seem scary at times, when you sit down and think about stuff.
And drinking doesn't help any.
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Post by X factor on Sept 11, 2024 23:04:11 GMT -5
I feel like doom is catching up with me I feel like doom is catching up with me and that there's nothing I can do about it.
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Post by X factor on Oct 12, 2024 7:53:59 GMT -5
It's Saturday It's Saturday and I feel like I've awakened into a dungeon of my own creating or creation...one of bad choices over the years, or past year, like it's all just come to a head. But unlike in the movies, there's no one to rush in and save me from my bad decisions, and the uncertainty that's fueled by those bad decisions. There's no Cavalry that's going to rush in and save me, I'm just not that special anymore to anyone.  Nope, no saving cavalry for me, I'm totally on my own. I don't even know what it's like to actually be cared for anymore, haven't had that feeling in decades. Anyways, I've got this day to prepare for a trip, I trip I should be happy about, but my mood, instead, has me feeling very skeptical. I just don't think I'm equipped with the right mental tools to make it in this world anymore, or ever. It's more like I've just managed to stumble my way through life, day by day, a stumbling fool.
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Post by X factor on Oct 19, 2024 1:08:59 GMT -5
I don't like feeling scared and fearful, it's not a fun feeling, especially when older and realize you're not invincible.
And when you're alone, it's no fun being scared and fearful when alone and have no one or nothing to lean against.
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Post by X factor on Oct 19, 2024 1:13:47 GMT -5
Sometimes I wish I were dizzy
Being dizzy in a dark world, to me, sometimes seems like a shield.
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