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Post by X factor on Feb 2, 2021 17:35:31 GMT -5
OK, with you goofballs blabbing, I think the answer just came to me, I'll open up weekend flea market booth and order stuff online at wholesale and sell for retail at flea market.. I think that's a plan, maybe, I don't know. Master blaster sir almighty, am I fat?  Ugg!! Go away Autistic one with twinkle toes... ... Change the lyrics to 'go away little autistic one with twinkle azz toes and gleaming eyes' I'm going fishing now.. |
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Post by X factor on Mar 15, 2021 21:44:00 GMT -5
I'll be glad when one day I can have a job, where can smoke or take anything I want that I feel will benefit my health or mood, instead of always having to be 'straight' do to random drug testing.
I yearn for a job that I don't have to worry about any type of drug test.
Not hardcore, but like medicinal type stuff, like types of mushrooms that fix things within you, can even cure the desire to drink, I've heard.
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Post by X factor on Apr 2, 2021 10:23:47 GMT -5
Amazing how can be off for 4 days, and yes, even though have a few beers when off, health near perfect, then go to work for just one long shift, and come back, or wake up next day feeling groggy, as if 'caught something'...it never fails, it's the food or something I'm eating out there, or just being around others, touching stuff, I don't know.
There's just all kinds of germs and stuff floating around out there, and not just Corona, there's 1000's of other types of bacteria or even different 'cold viruses' other than corona floating around out there.
I always feel great when alone and in place, but as soon as I go to work, is when I always seem to 'catch something'...but then when off work and alone again, I feel fine.
Maybe I need to start washing my hands better.
Or maybe it's re using old masks that not so good, cause when home, I don't wear stupid masks.
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Post by X factor on Apr 2, 2021 11:12:49 GMT -5
Ye, I just don't think long work hours are that good for you, one thing for sure, I never ever come back home feeling better than when I left, think about that.
But I'm lucky in that I only have to do this 3 days a week, longer hours, yes, but for only 3 days...I'm fortunate in that way I suppose, but even those 3 days are beginning to feel like to much.
You see I listen to my body, and years ago something told me that if I didn't cut back on hours worked per week, then I'd get health problems like so many other people have...so I began cutting back, first insisted on only 4 days a week, so when that job ended, just was fortunate enough to find this job with even less days worked per week with better income than worked 4-5 days a week...go figure.
I make better, more steady pay checks working 3 days a week than when I busted my butt working 4-5 days a week...only now body has way more time to recover, and so does my mind.
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Post by X factor on Apr 3, 2021 11:51:28 GMT -5
Every impulse in me makes me want to quit right now, this particular job I have to go to, cause the shift is so long.
Your mind and body never lie to you, that means it's not mentally or physically a good fit right now, but can't just up and quit...sure I have tomorrow off and so forth, but mind and body can't see into the future, the mind and body only know 'now'.
Hell is hell, and your mind and body don't care that after another 18 hours of hell, you get a break from hell...your mind and body only deals with the current.
All these migrants coming to America, they think it's going to be so great and wonderful like the Brady Bunch...in reality most will be exploited by the same people they thought they were running away from...I mean it's not like they're going to be absorbed up into some 'Brady Bunch' type family with square meals, a loving maid and two professional middle class parents...not even....even most Americans still strive for that ideal, but few have it.
Many of these migrants will discover that America can be just as, if not more, brutal than the places they left.
Cause here, in America, the dollar is everything, for many of these migrants, the world of exploitation is just beginning for them.
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Post by X factor on May 1, 2021 2:31:30 GMT -5
When I get off work I'm always in such a 'gaze' when I get in, I don't want this going forward, and need to make transition to a job where when I'm off I feel better, not worse, than when I began..and I think that's called 'rewarding'.
Maybe it's just I'm getting older, or need a new 'trade' ect, cause when I get off work now, it doesn't feel rewarding to me, and maybe that's do to the environment of my specific job, when done, there's no one there to greet you, nothing, start alone, get off alone.
But only I can make this change happen by taking steps to bring about change.
I don't want to just get off working feeling like I've made a 'check', I want to get off work feeling like I've built something, or changed a life, or helped improve something lasting.
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Post by X factor on May 1, 2021 12:14:28 GMT -5
Sucks when your creative mind starts to set in moments before you have to go to work, and then your creative mind is 'deadened' by mindless, meaningless, labor, where you're expected to just 'obey the rules and follow instruction'...like a robot...sickening.
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Post by X factor on May 14, 2021 14:07:13 GMT -5
Tempted to just take a few months off, just to 'find self'
Here's what I've learned over the last few years about working just to work as you get older
1. Fate will determine how long and healthy you live, not the amount of hours you work or bust your butt for.
2. Would rather live happy and poor during healthy years than rich and sick during retired old withered years.
3. When I get to point in this world where can't take care of self...well, period and done.
Unluck others, not worried about becoming old and not being able to do this or that, screw it all, the second I feel its done, than it's done, end of story, at least mine.
But until any of the above could or should happen, why should I work jobs I don't like, that offer me nothing other than paycheck...there's a lot more to life, my time, my energy, than just receiving a paycheck.
It's different for everyone, I suppose if have large family to feed, well the term 'Large family' is kind of out the window now, that's a older 1970's era and back term, where 'The Man' was working to feed his wife and 5 hobbits, but now days 'The ex-wife or ex lover' simply gets paychecks from the Government and mild payment from the man.
In reality, I don't know any guy busting his butt these days to feed his family, I do know of guys busting their butts though to pay Government ordered 'mild support' and other such bills.
I don't really think today's woman is impressed with blue collar guys anymore, they either want you to be so rich that you don't really have to work,...I don't know.
It various with 'groups'..
For instance, I observe urban 'white women' will stay with their man even if man is homeless and on the streets, cause I see a lot of homeless white couples.
On the other hand I don't think I've ever observed a homeless black couple.
Black females, urban ones, hyper super fiscal, and will turn to the Government in a quick minute rather than follow her man to the gutter.
But if you want a loyal babe, get a urban Hillbilly type street white woman to fall for you, she'll stick by your side near for life.
But a black babe will drop you quicker than a pile of bricks the minute you don't groom your hair properly.
That aside, I think I need or want to take a few months off soon...and when do return to work, want to be happy with job or jobs I work.
More than likely going forward I see myself working temp/part-time/contract type jobs in order to string together type of schedule and or minimum income I want to survive going forward.
But this full time job bs is getting old to me and real quick
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Post by X factor on Jun 19, 2021 11:26:54 GMT -5
Getting up, and ready to go to work can feel like getting up and ready to step into the ring with a monster that will beat you up the whole time you're 'out there'  I know America is suppose to be a free place, but when you HAVE to work all the time, even when just don't want to, but HAVE to, just to pay basic bills, it just doesn't always feel like you're so free here.
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Post by X factor on Jun 29, 2021 14:50:12 GMT -5
Nothing more nerve rattling than getting a call from your boss when you're 'off'
My boss called and left message saying 'I need to tell you something'
So here's what ran through my head real quick
1. Need you to come in today and fill a shift (not with a few beers in me I can't)
2. Your position is no longer needed and or company is folding
3. And or something tragic, as in relative got hurt ect
4. Accused of something, and calling to see if I did it.
Well it turns out it was none of the above, instead it was simply a schedule change.
I will now simply be starting work day off earlier instead of later, so no more sleeping in real late, but at the same time will get home and still have useful part of night to doodle and play around.
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Post by X factor on Jul 7, 2021 23:50:13 GMT -5
My boss likes me
Not personally they don't, but they 'trust me', I should say do to my perceived work ethics.
(If only they knew that I really kind of despise the job, but love the job schedule)
In other words it's like say you're a wife or husband, and married, but only have to be with spouse 3 days a week, there's a lot you'd tolerate if only had to be a part time spouse while earning full time income.
But ye, him and his 'lover' like me, and I think want to eventually promote me, not sure how I feel about that, cause right now I don't have to work that much, but if promoted, that would mean what?
Not really trying to work around the clock managing other stuff that has zero to do with my own fulfillment in life.
I've just gotten use to being left alone...I don't know, would love the title, but has it come to late for me?
It's all about 'timing' in life, like being given the keys to brand new Porsche at age 17 vs age 80.
And although not 80, I am older now thus have changed a bit.
Is why I've always thought it cruel for God to make Moses wait until he was 80 to finally allow him to have hobbits and 'fill the land', or however that story in bible goes.
I've always found that 'selfish'.
Sure god fulfilled his promise, but did so when Moses, who is flesh and had limited life and physical prosperity, was old and withered, and then think of the burden on his wife, that means his wife was pumping out babies while in her 70's, does that even sound right?
I dare a pastor to come at me with that story as motivation.
Yes, gods 'will' was fulfilled, but that just seems selfish to me, to give a person what they want only when finally years away from death, seems cruel to me actually, but what do I know.
Moses lived a much more fulfilled, purposeful life than I have so far, that's for sure.
Moses would have fit perfectly in with new settlers in America, with all the battles he fought for land and people supposedly 'god' told him and the Israelis to slaughter.
Anyways, that's enough, have but a few more precious minutes to play.
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Post by X factor on Jul 21, 2021 9:32:20 GMT -5
Seems no matter how much time you have off, even though may of been bored at times, but still, when the day comes to go back to work, it's such a feeling of regret for me, never joy, it's never 'Oh gee, I can't wait to go back to work'
Maybe for some it is, those who have exciting careers I suppose, but not for me.
What I need is a income, a job, not so much.
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Post by X factor on Nov 6, 2021 15:17:58 GMT -5
Who really wants a job anymore?
Most people now would rather earn a income, yes, a job, no.
Just depends of course.
Training while younger can be fun, cause you're choosing your field of interest...but as age, even that will change for most.
And then you see what places pay people, like $13.5 an hour type stuff, where can you pay rent for such low pay?
You'd have to be married or something, or split expenses with a roommate.
Today's young are figuring out way more clever ways to generate income online and through trading, and other none labor methods...or just claiming 'this or that' on Government forms, fraud in other words.
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Post by X factor on Nov 14, 2021 21:14:25 GMT -5
Off until Wed, but got call from company to see if I could come in.
Nope, to short of notice.
And have a few beers in me, no way.
They understood.
Someone just didn't show up or something.
If younger probably would have said 'yes', do to ego, not anymore.
I'm older now and never has being a hero, in the past, ever paid off for me.
I was even offered some cash money to go in, meaningless to me..$500.00 in addition to the shift, meaningless.
When you're not in love, no one loves you, money is pretty much meaningless to you, or at least me.
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Post by X factor on Nov 27, 2021 20:37:24 GMT -5
When I get off work, I shouldn't feel like literaly throwing up when I get home.
I need a better relationship with my job.
And the thing is, schedule wise, I couldn't ask for a better job, but at the end of shift, when I walk into the doors of place I live, I always feel so wore out, not just physically, but, I don't have words to describe it, cause as soon as I'm home, 30 minutes of being home, and that ugly feeling goes away.
So it has to be mental, I've worked jobs that are physically more demanding and yet wouldn't come home feeling as terrible as I do now, or maybe I'm just getting older?
I don't know, but it's got to change, I can't spend the rest of my healthy years working a job that when I get off of work I feel so miserable.
It's not my companies fault, it's not their fault at all, I think it's just me, I'm changing again.
I think I just need a different work environment...actually I don't need any type of work, I just wish I had money coming in that I didn't have to go out and labor for.
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