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Post by X factor on Mar 15, 2015 12:58:54 GMT -5
Hello, what an evening yesterday, need to slow down sometimes.
It's OK to just lay back and relax sometimes, and or not party and drink every day.
It would be nice though if they had rolling grocery stores, like food trucks, only sell groceries instead, fish, meat, dairy, bread ect.
Oh well, I thought I felt like writing, but not really, at least not here.
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Post by X factor on Mar 16, 2015 20:27:03 GMT -5
Just haven't been in ordinary blogging mood lately...things haven't been normal enough. So I go and express thoughts elsewhere that have a bit more flavor. Yet this page or post here is largest viewed page on whole forum, for some odd reason. It's real cause I don't fake nothing...and never fake writing or expressing thought if not in mood to. I never do that. If I don't feel like writing I just don't write, or if don't feel like sharing just don't share, it has to be natural, has to flow, or it won't work. Going to bed early tonight. Nothing on TV worth watching, and if I stay up any longer will just end up eating like a goldfish until belly bursts...out of boredom and lonesomeness I suppose.  When feeling lonely you tend to eat more than you should, I guess. Anyways time for bed and dreams, at least in this section of the massive Mansion known as the zone. |
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Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2015 0:17:27 GMT -5
I wonder if animals can be mentally ill like humans?
One thing with nature though, and that is outside of mans care, we'll never know cause such a 'flaw' in a wild pack of dogs or deer or elephants or any type of heard animal, is always either killed or driven off by pack.
In nature seems if something is genetically flawed, natures response is to kill it or drive it away, remove it from gene pool I guess, or from harming others.
Animals have this sense, humans do not.
Humans are the opposite, at least in modern society, in that the 'flawed' are taken care of, allowed to reproduce and mingle, where as animals never ever do that, and maybe why over all the animal kingdom is way more fit, on a biological level anyways.
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Post by X factor on Mar 29, 2015 10:40:04 GMT -5
The past can seem like a graveyard Sooner or later you realize the past doesn't exist anymore, anywhere, accept in your own mind. If you try to go back and visit 'the past' it can seem like a graveyard, unless others from the past are there with you where you re live it in your mind. But if you go by yourself 'to the past', it can seem like walking through a graveyard. The world you once knew gone, the dynamics, gone, the energy, familiarity with area, gone...nothing but tombstones remain, ghostly reminisces of the past. Connect with those now, while you can, from your past, before they to are gone.
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Post by X factor on Mar 29, 2015 21:19:09 GMT -5
Well my weekend is officially over. At a certain time I just stop doing chores and just go into auto pilot doing whatever I so feel like doing for remaining hour or minutes before I go to bed. (hate when stuff or something falls in your place, and there's no reason for it to fall, and you hear something fall, but can't find what fell)  Sorry, now my whole writing mood has changed to the paranormal. When alone, you notice things more, hear more things, cause there's less to distract you and the 'spirits' know they got your attention. It seems they like to scare and razzle you at night, and then influence others to do harmful things to you during the day. It's as if their whole purpose is to eventually drive you mad, or make you feel that your odds of getting anywhere in this world are zero. But they can't really touch you or punch you, unless they can influence another physical being to do so for them. All they can really do is mess with your sanity, try to frighten you, make you wonder about things, as if it's entertainment to them. A lot of people are ungodly in the West now, have empty souls, nothing inside, no sense of right or wrong, no conscious, and these are the types deviant spirits like to use as tools to hurt others. The less ungodly, none principled people in your life, the better off you'll be. If you have ungodly (not perfect but ungodly, there's a big difference) in your life they will hurt you and not even feel bad about it, will justify it in their own way. Anyways, back to what I was writing about before something fell. I never set alarm clock on Mondays. I wake up when I wake up. Every day should be a joy, but in mans system it's not always so. Well I think that's it for the night, I tried Facebook, but don't feel comfortable writing thoughts on there and not knowing who's viewing. On here only a limited few view, and that's the way I like it. Later. |
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Post by X factor on Apr 3, 2015 19:26:09 GMT -5
It's FridayGo out, stay home? Go out, forget about how defined all week long by employer who just sees you as disposable labor...go out, redefine self under lights, camera and action.  Or stay home, where it's safe. Life is about moments and decisions.
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Post by X factor on Apr 5, 2015 21:38:39 GMT -5
Today went by entirely to quick, even though didn't do anything note worthy other than go out and purchase a sewing machine.  I use to have one long ago, was never very good at it, but decided to get one again so I can fix clothing, hats, rather than spend money on new stuff. To bad that more and more people are forgetting how to do basic stuff, whether male or female, like sewing or cooking and other hobby craft type of stuff that use to be staples in homes. To each their own I suppose, but for me, learning how to do simple things all over again can have a therapeutic effect, get you away from tech stuff. Even creating own jewelry is easy if you go to craft store. Anyways not much else to say on here right now, evenings about gone and like a monster, tomorrow is looming. |
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Post by X factor on Apr 17, 2015 22:06:56 GMT -5
I'm changing, environment is changing me, the things I feel like doing when freed up from work are changing.
My personal expression are changing a bit.
My artistic side has changed a lot.
A dull mundane environment will make you the same if not careful, where you're only worried about deadlines, bills and other mundane stuff.
If not careful you forget to enjoy now, the moment and yourself, then before you know it you're old.
I don't even have the urge to go out anymore.
What I thought was success a year ago or so, I realize is not.
Now, to me, success is not having to worry about tomorrow.
Success to me now is not having to live day to day, or even week to week or month to month.
Right now I just don't feel relaxed, odd how when I had less, I always felt relaxed.
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Post by X factor on Apr 17, 2015 22:21:39 GMT -5
Also beware of people who want to be close to you at times, yet are so oblivious to what you need to be happy.
And example would be friends or associates who are paired or married, yet never consider 'hooking you up'.
And or always keep you separate from their spouse, or spouses friend, out of fear they may be attracted to you...so instead they keep you alone, and only come around when they want you to entertain, but never consider you yourself may be lonely and in need of more than just 'hanging out'.
People who really care about you will make sure you're whole and well in all aspects of your life.
People who don't really care about you only use you as a tool.
A tool to play, or to get ahead, or to 'drink with' or ect.
But they'll never promote you, rather instead keep you locked up in their own little closet of personal use.
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Post by X factor on Apr 19, 2015 4:25:27 GMT -5
 I like the zone, the castle, the vast network of rooms, thoughts, expressions. I like the zone because it's quiet. Like a library, it's quiet and allows one to think. The world is violent and corrupt right now, but the zone is still. And beneath the walls of the castle are many rooms of exploration, some still being created.  Exploration is what use to make life fun, the unknown. Now sadly, do to the expansion of man on the planet, and controlling powers, industry, infrastructure, more and more one has to turn within ones own mind to discover new places. There is a reset button coming soon, for all of humanity. . |
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Post by X factor on Apr 19, 2015 21:31:26 GMT -5
Hatred for tomorrow
I haven't felt this much hatred for tomorrow in a long time.
I can't stand tomorrow right now, and don't want it to come.
Tomorrow just seems like a prison to me right now.
People who think this modern system of industrial slavery for most, is the best system of life man can come up with are out of their minds.
At least that's how I feel right now.
It all depends on what environment one wakes up to, and has to wade in tomorrow also.
If one is rich and sheltered, and only around lovely people or people they think are lovely, then tomorrow might not seem so bad.
But when forcibly thrust from place, just out there into the world, to survive, to be around low class types, to be badgered by bills and other money related issues that never go away, than ones outlook on tomorrow might not be so bright.
I'm perfectly happy with 'now'.
The stillness of now...but the evil clock keeps moving.
The crap I couldn't resolve on Friday will be there waiting on Monday.
This is one weekend I really just don't feel like letting go of.
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Post by X factor on Apr 20, 2015 19:53:25 GMT -5
I knew there was a reason why I was going to hate today.
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Post by X factor on Apr 23, 2015 21:13:31 GMT -5
When singleWhen single 1. You have no one to cook for you, ever. 2. When single, there is no one to take you to Doctor when sick and not feeling well. 3. When single, there is no one to pick up after you. 4. When single, if vehicle breaks down, there is no one to call to rescue you. 5. When single, after a discouraging day at work, there is no one to make you feel alright. 6. When single must do all shopping on your on, if you don't do the shopping yourself, fridge will become bare. I've seen the best of both and the worst of both. I've seen couples paired who end up fighting and saying the nastiest things to one another. But I've also seen couples, families, in healthy relationships, and there's nothing that can beat it. Single is OK when younger and still have an array of social friends and contacts, but the older one gets the harder it becomes being single, especially if existing in the labor class, or working poor labor class. When single you have to be strong all the time, there is no one around to feel sorry for you. There is no one to boost your mood or out look. No one to run errands, clean up when gone, make appointments, pay bills. When single one must do it all on their own, one must make one pay check cover everything...there is no safety valve when single. If you don't pay it, it doesn't get paid. When single there is no one to get up at night and see what that sound is.  When single there is no buffer.
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Post by X factor on Apr 23, 2015 21:40:18 GMT -5
There comes a certain time in the night when I just stop doing everything, and just relax, even if things are un done.
That twilight moment of nothing, pure relaxation.
You need it, must have it, in order to stay emotionally balanced.
Life issues are one of the last scenes in the movie 'I am Legend', with Will Smith.
When the zombies just keep coming and Will Smith decides to sacrifice his life to save the lady and the lady says..
'What are you doing, there's room for you in here'
And Will Smiths character responds...
'There not going to stop'
This scene right here, the zombies metaphorically represent life issues, bills, bullies, mayhem, cruelty, unfairness, debt and on and on...it just never stops.
It never stops until you decide to just take a break from it.
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Post by X factor on Apr 26, 2015 9:29:30 GMT -5
Dirty Kitchens It's very easy for a kitchen to get out of hand. It's easy to pull stuff out of cabinets, pull food out of containers/ packages, but a whole other thing, type of energy and motivation to clean up the mess afterwards. It takes time and energy to clean up, and with such limited time during the day for many, it's easy to put off cleaning up till 'later'. If one lives a lone, one has to do it all by themselves, will not get done unless one does it, if living with a roommate or couple or married situation, then one can divide the duties of kitchen patrol. The kitchen and bathrooms are probably the least fun places to clean up, yet the most important to keep clean. I've found the best way to keep a place clean is to immediately clean up right after self or others, I mean immediately, make it a habit to do so. Either way time and energy has to be spent, but if you do it in small steps, it won't seem so enormous.  Also, the less dishes you have, the less pots you have, the less storage containers, the more you'll be forced to clean up 'now', in order to eat again. Example, if you have 10 plates you're less likely to wash dishes until all 10 or dirty, but if you have only 2 plates... 
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