X factors blog and journal...

Not sure where I'm at emotionally as mood is already changing, evolving, even as I write this.

But that's the Zone for you, totally organic, non scripted live action, live thoughts, live real raw emotions, good, bad, ugly and weird.

Was feeling calm earlier, that's why decided to post, then anxiety set in suddenly.

This is a very generic section in that I never give the reasons and the whys here.

I keep this section generic on purpose, for my sake and the sake of others.

Sometimes people just need a generic place to return to, to relate to, without politics, or religion or any one issue pushed.

Life when young, life started off very generic for most, unless raised in some war torn area of the world, or unless raised in some slum area or unless abused heavily.

But that aside, for most, assuming raised in a normal safe environment, with two parents, maybe a sibling or two or 3, pet dog, maybe a cat, than life started off pretty generic and friendly looking.



The generic American dream or standard, not sure when this was lost.

Generic represented order, and order represented calm and security, knowing things would always be the same.

The only variable was 'you', but that's what made it fun. Rebelling in a safe generic environment, where others had roles etched in stone.

But as we age, grow and expand, for many that generic comfort blanket begins to dissolve.

The longer one can hang onto it, the better, in my opinion.

Cause once it's gone, it's gone, then other things move in.

Then you begin to realize your view of the world isn't another's view of the world, your experience wasn't there's.

You may of had two parents for a while, but they did not, you may have graduated high school, but they did not, you may believe in the bible, Sunday school, but they do not.

You make respect authority and the life of others, but they may not.

Life, ones own thoughts, are easier to manage when kept generic.

Some decide to demonize those who share other views and values, others just accept that ones own sense of normal was never there's or anyone ones else's.

A rational person realizes that they're just one speck out of billions, and out of Trillions who have already come and gone.

A irrational person assumes everyone of those billions and trillions who doesn't see the world as they do are bad and evil.

Like the Universe expanding, the older you get the more a rational persons view of things has no choice but to expand.

They stop expanding when one gets locked into a particular ideology or say religion.

Then growth stops.

Not saying that's good or bad, but growth stops.

Even in bible, God warned Adam and Eve to not wonder outside the garden or eat of the forbidden fruit, cause what would follow would be to much for them to handle.

Same applies today, many people form their own garden of Eden in own minds, where it's safe, and things are known.



Heck whatever works.

Cause for those of us who have ventured outside of that happy generic spot or garden, well, there's a lot of ugly surprise's that await, and a few good ones.

But if I could do it all over again, I think I'd stay inside the garden second time around.

When younger, you naturally believe there's a God, when a bit older start questioning if there's a God, and as you get even older, start observing the absurdity the man, than you start actually wanting there to be a God, anything, that offers better hope than the system of man.

You want there to be a Heaven where you don't need a pension plan, where you don't have to worry about declining health, who's going to take care of you when older, how much money you have left, bills that never end and so forth.

Trillions being horded in some quarters, pennies being thrown around in others.

The cycle of biological life is pretty short, and for most the whole time is spent in 'want' and worry about the future.

For some though, this world, existence, has already been Heaven like, for others it has been hellish.

World wide it has probably been hellish for most, and historically, only in recent decades, say since 1950, have some places stabilized and allowed a dignified way of life, mainly in European nations.

And now non European peoples are flooding to these nations for that same perceived dignity, but what are they bringing?

It's odd in that Government has freed people from a 'Loving God' in the West, a God without a buffer, as interpited by man, is Iran or ISIS ect.

Pure God seems to be very oppressive, or religion I should say.

A god without Government always seems oppressive, and is why so many people from Muslim nations are fleeing to the west, yet get to the West and want to continue on in oppressive ways and customs.

It's all coming to a head, half the world controlled by tyrannical god, the other half ran, controlled by tyrannical bankers, and everyone caught some where in the middle.

The more you try to learn a discipline

The more you try to learn a discipline the more you begin to see how few people know anything that line the halls of that discipline.

In other words it's amazing how 'stupid' most people are, even those staffed in the offices of those who do or are suppose to know.

The closer you get to any knowledge base, you begin to realize 'Affirmative action' doesn't or didn't just apply to so called 'blacks or minorities' but that it applies to all.

You begin to see how utterly un qualified people are who hold positions of authority or supposed knowledge.

It's all hollow.

Most people are simply fronting, and have been appointed or selected into positions they have no business occupying, both in knowledge and passion.

They're simply there to receive pay checks, and this comes out as you ask questions, and or seek direction, these people are utterly useless, like talking to stones, and always refer you to someone else.

People you assumed were smart, end up being very dumb, yet for years you were always made to feel you were the one who was dumb.

It's all a disappointing illusion.

Becoming annoyed with the average

On the way home from work I can barely stand going inside of stores anymore, corner stores, supermarkets, it don't matter, I just find myself getting more and more annoyed with the average people I see stumbling around.

For one everyone seems to be super short like midgets.

And many don't know how to dress anymore, or use deodorant.



Walked into a 7 Eleven today trailing some older dude who wasn't aware of his body odor, wearing house shoes, and playing the lottery, they left a trail of stink.

Lately my level of annoyance is really going up.

Most people don't even deserve to be in America, contribute nothing, yet walk around artificially feeling elevated.

Yet can barely read, and can't never tell you about daily headlines in the news.

A bunch of moe hoes were just lucky to have been born here, cause anywhere else with their level of social awareness they'd be living in huts, or poor ghettos in Russia ect.

On TV everyone looks clean and kept, but in real life not even close.

Not sure why lately I feel so annoyed like this, and it's worse when some second, third rate type tries to pull rank on you socially, or do to job they hold ect.

I'm trying to make changes, just doesn't seem they can come quick enough.

Even useless ghetto people are starting to spill out into outlining areas of towns and cities.

Like muts without any purpose in life, brought into this world with no plan.

I sort of do hope Donald Trump wins the election, outside of him can't think of anyone with radical enough ideas who could actually do anything.

Happy Halloween!



Favorite time of year for some reason.

Will the Hadron collider destroy the Earth?



Will geeky scientist experimenting with the unknown of particle smashing, trying to replicate the 'big bang', destroy the Earth?

It would only make sense that our destruction would come about by our own hands.

If man were never placed on Earth, the Earth, with just the animals, could sustain itself until the Sun ran out of energy, maybe a million more years?

But with mans medling in science and chemistry, nuclear waste, bombs, toxins ect, it's like man is jepordizing life on Earth for all.

Some suggest, other more responsible scientist, that this atom smasher could create black hole, in which then there's be nothing on Earth to stop it.

But these selfish scientist don't care.

If you don't know about this massive atom smashing machine, I suggest you look it up online and learn about the risks.

Here, I've done some of the work for you...link<<< Hadron collider news and information from various links.