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Post by X factor on Jan 19, 2019 3:58:07 GMT -5
I sense and observe that I'm becoming more and more angry as time goes by. Less satisfied with my particular outcome in life, and also fueled by the daily dishonest behavior of others, and being victim to this dishonesty. Just seems everyone, every institution, wants to get over on you. It's down right scary how dishonest people are, and the institutions they run. No one references God or the bible anymore either. Everything is like flesh based now, and since people no longer aim to be higher or more than flesh, I ask myself at times 'what am I being good to?' but if I stop being good, or feeling the need to be good, than all light would definitely go out. I don't want to be like 'Vader' who embraced the dark side. I actually want to become more loving again, like I use to be. I mean I'm good, but not as loving as I use to be. I need to work on this...to be continued The things that use to make me feel happy 1. Hope, in the past I always had hope 2. Family and friends. I have no friends outside of work, and interaction with family is zero 3. Jesus, and the belief that I'd go to Heaven after my physical demise I haven't been to church in years, and last time I did go, I felt nothing, it all seemed staged and predictable to me, nor did I find the people to be any more or less loving than others. 4. Social life use to make me feel happy I have zero social life outside of interacting with those at work, I work, then come immediately straight home 5. Women use to make me feel happy I have zero interaction with women, outside of work 6. Having a pet use to make me feel happier I haven't had a pet in years 7. Living in area where there were no or very limited 'B' people use to make me feel happy. Where I stay now, B people are everywhere, thus litter, thus crime and a general hostile environment where people don't know how to resolve issues reasonably. 8. Living in low to zero crime area use to make me feel happy. Where I live now, every morning on the news you hear about this shooting, that shooting 9. Having lots of money, good credit and a ton of cash use to make me feel happy, and having no bills or debt. 10, Having career goals use to make me feel happy, now I have none, at least none that I'd get paid for. And I could go on, gee wiz, no wonder I don't feel as happy as I use to or loving...so many holes in me life...hmm |
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Post by X factor on Jan 19, 2019 4:17:04 GMT -5
continued from above
Also every one on the planet seems to be having sox accept me, I mean I get on those adult tube sites and it seems everyone under the sun is having sox now days, I mean even grandmothers, and great grandmothers and senior citizens having sox on tube video now, fat people, black folks, ugly folks, white folks, Asians, Monks, Chinese, Indians, handicapped people and more.
It's like the whole world is having sox at night, accept me, it's like I don't exist.
I just don't get it.
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Post by X factor on Jan 20, 2019 18:01:24 GMT -5
I want to escape into cinema tonight but find self asking, which more entertaining Netflix or YouTube?
Today's movies are so dern predictable, where as on YT, can kind of dial up anything, car crashed, airplane crashes, insect vs insect wars, top 10 this, top 10 than, best dash cam videos, and more.
I'll probably just end up flipping a coin...
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Post by X factor on Jan 25, 2019 22:31:00 GMT -5
I should probably clear up some space on here by going back and deleting very old posts, posts older than 4 years, that aren't relevant anymore.
But to me, history is always relevant to someone, I mean people are constantly going through the same stuff over and over again, what one did 5 years ago, another could be doing or going through now, so it's really all relevant all of the time.
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Post by X factor on Jan 27, 2019 21:45:16 GMT -5
Some times I really do wish there were a 'God', if not just for this reason here alone
Some times I really wish there were a God, if not just for this reason alone.
1. So that people who spent whole lives lying about others, spreading rumors about others, could be expose and have to justify why they chose to behave in such a manner.
2. So that all the people who thought things about you, without ever, ever, ever once confirming whether true or not, could be exposed, forced to stand before a Majestic God and justify their actions and behaviors.
I mean it wouldn't even matter if I went to 'hell', It would almost be worth it to just stand and watch Divine court, as 'God' just peered through the souls of so many and forced them to give account.
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Post by X factor on Jan 27, 2019 21:52:34 GMT -5
Some times I really do wish there were a 'God', if not just for this reason here aloneSome times I really wish there were a God, if not just for this reason alone. 1. So that people who spent whole lives lying about others, spreading rumors about others, could be expose and have to justify why they chose to behave in such a manner. 2. So that all the people who thought things about you, without ever, ever, ever once confirming whether true or not, could be exposed, forced to stand before a Majestic God and justify their actions and behaviors. I mean it wouldn't even matter if I went to 'hell', It would almost be worth it to just stand and watch Divine court, as 'God' just peered through the souls of so many and forced them to give account. This would also include mechanics that routinely lie and cheat on costumers, Accountants that cheat on firms, Tech criminals, Pakistani and Indian criminals who run so many tech scams. But it would be most satisfying when those who pretended to be closest to you were exposed, when you found out the reason why 'this person' or that person, or these people or those people all stopped talking to you was because of warped false perceptions that were never validated? The way I 'judge' another is very simple, if what one, or another does doesn't hurt someone, than I could care the less. In other words if some dude wants to wear a dress, while at home, in private, what the hell do I care and how is that evil? Or if some women is addicted to xes toys, while at home, do to being alone, again, what the heck do I care. On the other hand those, if someone peers through curtain, sees two males hugging, then spreads rumors that their gay, that's when I have a problem, when in reality it was Father embracing their son they hadn't seen in years. People who spread rumors, without collecting facts first (not that it's their role to collect facts about others) are sick, and do more to damage others, hurt others, than most can even imagine. |
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Post by X factor on Jan 31, 2019 3:56:28 GMT -5
Most people lack the ability to examine 'self', instead what most do is 'examine others'.
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Post by X factor on Feb 3, 2019 21:49:54 GMT -5
Life just keeps moving forwardLife just keeps moving forward whether we want it to or not. And most do, until you get to a certain point, and then you want it to just stand still, not end, but stand still. Motion, whether physical or metaphysical causes collisions and corrosion. The more still something is, the less chance it has of dying, the longer it lives, like trees. View Attachment 4 years ago, and one day back (yesterday) the Zone was still busy pumping out thoughts, actions and life. This forum is like a historic time stamp that just keeps on going in that it's self contained. What were you doing 4 years ago?... |
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Post by X factor on Feb 3, 2019 21:53:44 GMT -5
Everyone is stupid, and comes to the wrong conclusion, always...which tells me God resides in no one... Wow, 5 years ago, in the year 2014, on this day, here was a post from this forum. Time is odd, logic seems to stay the same regardless of age or era. |
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Post by X factor on Feb 9, 2019 1:05:06 GMT -5
Netflix or You Tube, that is the question this late night.
You Tube way more interactive, but actually has more commercials, now, than Netflix, which has none.
But you tube you can jump around, for instance if like to watch airplanes land, plenty of short videos of that.
One thing I don't like anymore about YT though is that small content providers videos never get put in recommendation side panel, only monetized video do, so all the millions of other videos basically go unseen unless have direct title and link, as usual those with means push those without aside.
I miss the days of being able to see amature videos come up on side bar, just regular people being silly.
Now you only see videos that are monetized with 50,000 plus views.
Oh well, who cares.
Life is short, does any of it matter...later
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Post by X factor on Feb 9, 2019 16:41:21 GMT -5
You ____ don't know me... Huh... Have no idea...you think you do, but don't... Just like I don't know you. I'm not strong people...many of you could physically beat me up, hurt me physically OK... I'm not Superman or Super Woman, OK...I know that...but what I am is focused and for real, and is why in the past certain gangster types allowed me to live, to pass unharmed...frown out loud...  Gangsters...they're odd and weird, they, at times, want to be so human to at times... |
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Post by X factor on Feb 9, 2019 18:15:20 GMT -5
Ignore this post...dumb types
begin
Heck...I'm tall, soxy, good looking...regardless of gender...I could go out tonight and get date.
But I don't...why?...cause still fear, and want respect of parents...one who's dead, and
the other...I don't know...
If did know...I'd be dangerous...instant _______...I think they sacrificed life for me...
Don't F with me...ever...
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Post by X factor on Feb 9, 2019 18:17:03 GMT -5
Try me...Love you _______
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Post by X factor on Feb 15, 2019 19:48:10 GMT -5
Family can sometimes be your worst enemy or device...
What do you want me to say?
Evil does't let up, just cause you may happen to be related to it.
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Post by X factor on Feb 16, 2019 21:28:40 GMT -5
I give up, I mean I know there's a post on here, in here, some where where I created image for fictional horror concept known as 'The Knockers'... And now, years later I see movie on Netflix with very similar title and theme...and I wanted to find original post on here from years ago to prove that idea or theme originated here. This place, this Mansion, is so gigantic though that I just gave up trying to find it, or if I, oh, one suck, I think I do have the original art work...one sec..  Yes, here it is, I didn't create the 'art' in pic rather I modified it, and added title to demonstrate my idea, I did this years ago, but unless I can find 'dated post', it's pointless. But I know it's on here some where cause like everything else in life, you always run into things when not looking for it, then when need it, can't ever seem to find it. And the concept dealt with the horrific sound of someone knocking on your door, me personally, I hate that sound, cause it's never ever good when a un announced person knocks on your do, it's never good, cause if it were you'd already know who it was. A few times I've gotten knocks on my door like during sleeping time, and of course I'd never ever open door, rather sit perched on other side of door with _____, just hobbitding. But who wouldn't? It's also why sleeping deep inside a bedroom scares me, I prefer sleeping near the front door. I'd never feel safe sleeping way up stairs, down some distant hall, miles away from the front door, someone could sneak in and you'd never hear it or them. Anyways, couldn't find post of 'The knockers', which seems to be a movie on Netflix, here's the you tube trailer |
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