X factors blog and journal...

Right now I feel burned out on the Western style of life.

It seems hallow and empty to me right now.
As a low end wage earner...it just feels that way.
I'd rather live in the woods or jungle wage earning free, like tribes, than earn low wage and really get no where in life.

The constant anxiety that comes from not earning enough just wears at the soul after a while, seems to take away from life, or how life was meant to be experienced.

This endless work week cycle, pay or non pay cycle, bill cycle.
When you're a low wage earner...you never earn enough to get comfortably ahead...and is why people have to work into their 60's now...

I suppose it's different when you planned right, and have a rewarding career type job, like an airline pilot or something...



When you plan right, and things go right, and you're doing what you love...your whole perspective is different...

But when life is reduced to just bill paying, while working low end, low skill, labor jobs...it wears at your spirit after a while...and you begin to see how useless it all is.

And tribal or nomad life just starts to seem more and more attractive...where you're alive and living, and not having to worry about income.

Capitolism has pretty much engulfed the world now though...and most places have been forced to modernize...they have no choice, it's either that or be invaded and conquered...

But I just want to live...without Government...any Government...whether Democratic or Communist or religious, like the middle east...I just want to live without any kind of centralized order.

But again...do to greed and expansion...you really can't do that...tribes that live like that get exploited by militarized nations.

So now everyone is forced into this system that makes some rich, and leaves many others poor starving laborers...

Hello...have an Awesome summer...whatever that means, just have it...every summer could be our last...next summer is never garunteed...not to anyone...so enjoy it, them, while you can.

Even if you work...take a moment out each day to just enjoy a 'frame'...a still frame of the day.

I need to learn to do that more myself..to just be glad the grass is green, the leaves on the trees flush...

Just taking walks or bike rides can really help bring summer up and close to you.

Feel it, enjoy it, touch it, while it's here...summer that is..

Remember this old classic Electrical Company opening?

Morgan Freeman was a Hipster back then...

I'm content and happy with self...

In order to be happy, you must be content with self...like a squirrel or something.
Animals never question their 'self worth'...they just are...and accept that.

And being content with self encompasses many things.

Mainly move at your own pace, and not someone else's.
Stress comes when other people force you into situations you don't want to be in.
The situation may be good for them, but doesn't mean it's good for you.

And that's all I feel like saying for now on that matter...

Hello...it's a nice quiet peaceful evening...
Don't feel like writing about anything controversial..

I had a good, rich, full, social media experience elsewhere.
Right now it's quiet, safe, and listening to elevator music...that is music with just the instruments...
Some or original classics with voice...but for the most part, elevator music is like 'lounge music' generic music played in supermarkets or hotel lobbies ect.

Music that doesn't offend anyone...



It just takes me back to a simpler time...(not that any times on earth were ever simple)

But looking back on own life or aware time...there were times that were less complex than now.
Good parents do a good job at shielding you from a lot of bs while young, thus allowing you to experience life in ways you never ever will be able to again once grown.

Good parents are like a shield.

As much as Jesus, in the bible, said he loved hobbits, not sure why such a god would allow hobbits to be born to bad parents...which tells me 'god' isn't always in control of everything in current configuration anyways...

Just look around the world, planet...and you can tell 'god', at least the Jesus god of the bible, isn't running the show...some other dark entity is...

Anyways...I said I didn't want to get into any deep discussions right now...just keep it light...

back soon...

What?
I feel like you're waiting for me to write something?

What do you want me to write?

I feel like Beethoven, but of writing, crowd awaiting performance of some kind...



What would you like to hear?
Something good, something bad?

Or how about I just play what I want to hear, write however it flows out.

And last night was emotionaly wild for me...but also fun.

Today, in contrast, felt drab and mundane.

And that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

I'm about to go to bed, or sleep...

There's nothing fun on the schedual for next day and a half.

Now until Friday evening, when I will be off and free, is going to be very drab.

drab schedual, drab personalities...I'm just bored right now.

I need a job or environment where I'm working around or interacting with type 'A' personalities.

Stars, or people who think they are.

But only I can change that...and hopefully maybe will soon, for my own sake.

Anyways...sorry, just don't have much to say here right now...later...

I haven't really been posting in this section much lately...my mood just hasn't brought me here much over the last few months.
Lot's of changes...not really positive ones, just lateral ones...not all change takes you upward.
Some time 'change' is simply stepping from one room into another.

Same dimensions, just maybe a different color or something.

Ahh...late summer, fall Harvest...oh how I kind of miss the sounds and smell of wheat and barely, and crop dusters, and fertilizer...and cool, late night summer walks through peaceful, calm, non violent country roads...

Where there was absolutely no crime at all...where the criminal class, impoverished class, did not dwell, generational poverty and crime class just did not dwell where I was brought up...

Looking back, I realize now I really took that area for granted...I thought the world at large, would be so much better, brighter, offer so much more opportunity.

I was both right and wrong.

I was wrong in that life is nothing, about meaningless, unless you're achieving things around, to, and for, people you care about, who care about you, and whom you have history with.

Going off to some strange place, expecting to capture that 'home' feeling...just doesn't always happens.

Just depends...depends on what you're leaving for, the kind of job you have, and other factors.
Some jobs, by nature, are very 'social'...like executive jobs, where people socialize and hang out after work, party together, inter marry and so on...

Other more basic jobs, like cashiering or janitor work...no social bonds are hardly ever formed with co-workers...

And it depends on your ethnicity, to an extent.

Some communities, no matter how much like them you are, just won't embrace you unless you have their same DNA.

Like a 'white' person going to Indonesia (Asia) trying to fit in.

Looking back...I wish I had never left that area now.
I wish I had never come to the SE, and discovered a whole class of citizens I only thought existed in text books.

It has kind of tard my view of the world now.

I've learned indeed, the world is an ugly place, that people harbor ugly thoughts and ideas about others.
And today, with mass media, and talk radio, and internet, hateful induvisuals with racial and or political or Religious biases, are able to magnify their voices and influence others.

So there's really no 'safe little corner' to go hide in anymore, do to mass media.

No matter where you go, someone will be bias against you based on perceived affiliation with this or that ideology.

No matter where you go, someone will want to label you a 'Right wing nut' or a 'left wing lunatic'...

Or if you're black or person of color, people will think you're lazy and don't work and do drugs.

If you're Hispanic, some might think you're here illegally...

And if you're of Middle Eastern decent, others might think you've moved to their community to start a secret Jihad...

On and on and on...

Who ever, or whatever you, we, are, it's just getting harder and harder to find peace amongst 'men'.

You always get dragged into other peoples conflicts one way or another, expecially around election time.

The most simplest times seemed to be from like 1973-1990...
Things were still simple then...I guess.

The racially charged 60's were gone...and it just seemed like new era of possibility for all.

Now I'm not sure what age we live in, or how to define the mood...'dark'?, uncertain?, scary?

Then again, how one defines 'today' kind of totally depends on where they're at as an induvisual in life.
Whether they have achieved what they wanted to or not.
Income...

If one is living a charmed wealthy life, in a mansion...



And off spring are protected from the brutality of life...then of course one will have a whole different perspective on things...totally different.

Life will seem good, and plentiful, and do to riches, all things will seem possible, and plausible.

So 'outlook' is a very customized thing.

If one has amassed great wealth, then of course they see possibility and potential in tomorrow.
Wealth is like a magic wand...just touch, just say, and it is yours...



Just wish, and it comes true...

The wealthy don't even have to pray for anything...if they want something, they just buy it...

Unless the mind goes, and becomes afflicted...to be continued...