Post by X factor on Oct 18, 2023 0:50:14 GMT -5
For the first time in a long time (extended period of time) I just don't feel that my own future will be OK
And maybe that's just a process of growing older.
It's just every day, on the news, in real life, see people's lives that aren't OK, or weren't OK, or were OK until they weren't.
I'm also realizing, have known for a while, that doing the right thing doesn't mean the right thing or things will happen to you.
I no longer have this belief that just because I'm good, or do good to others, that karma will be on my side, or even luck, or even 'God'..or fate.
Logically, you'd think I'd get all religious again, turn 'back to God', for eternal hope, but then it would seem fake and plastic to me...not to say I've ever turned away from God or a God.
I just feel scared right now, yes me, I feel scared, I feel very small and incompetent in this large scary world of ours.
Drinking might have something to do with that...
And other things as well.
Life just tends to be a bit more scary when going through it alone.
And maybe that's just a process of growing older.
It's just every day, on the news, in real life, see people's lives that aren't OK, or weren't OK, or were OK until they weren't.
I'm also realizing, have known for a while, that doing the right thing doesn't mean the right thing or things will happen to you.
I no longer have this belief that just because I'm good, or do good to others, that karma will be on my side, or even luck, or even 'God'..or fate.
Logically, you'd think I'd get all religious again, turn 'back to God', for eternal hope, but then it would seem fake and plastic to me...not to say I've ever turned away from God or a God.
I just feel scared right now, yes me, I feel scared, I feel very small and incompetent in this large scary world of ours.
Drinking might have something to do with that...
And other things as well.
Life just tends to be a bit more scary when going through it alone.
