Post by X factor on Dec 26, 2021 15:37:37 GMT -5
I don't want to ___ myself cause no one likes me, believe it or not most people ____ themselves when they feel liked by others, and so the suicide is more of a 'hit in the face', as they leave this world, but if not liked by anyone, the only person you're hitting in the face is self, and no one else will care...so what was gained?
Is what I tell self.
Not only that, but would like stuff to be in order, no matter how I die or leave this world. I don't even have a will yet, not that I have anything to leave behind.
But even all my online stuff, I'd like to 'will' all my passwords to someone, all my writings could be profitable one day, if utilized properly.
Not close with biological family, so would probably like 'will' all my blogs and stuff to some Librarian.
Why am I even thinking like this?
I don't know, things just seem pointless to me at times now, it's like my whole life been surrounded by dead beats, no one 'acts', you come up with great ideas, and no one acts on them, yet they follow me, as in on social media, but also in real life.
No one acts, it's like I'm just out of alignment with my social environment, so just keep aging and always surrounded by dead beats....even my neighbors are dead beats.
Of all people to move right up around me, why not younger energized types, why always living corpses, or urban oddities that I have nothing in common with, why not ever some young hot visionary?
it's always like that with me, and I'm just sick of it, sick of no action people, I'm beginning to hate them actually cause they've robbed me of my potential, are the types that actually get jelous of your potential and would rather bury your potential....until finally older, tired, and lack energy to do anything.
The people who failed to help me in life are like demons to me, literally my personal demons...or posessed by demons.
I just don't know what else to do to stand out, to make it. Fate has just been terrible to me.
If could give up I would, but in life, even if you give up, you still get dragged along.
It's not like in the movies where when you give up, suddenly the sky opens and divine hands reach down and rescue you.
No, instead you 'give up', and nothing changes, you still get treated like crap, ignored, shunned, battered ect, so giving up has no effect, there's no relief in giving up when there's nothing tangible to give up to.
Giving up only matters when the person or entity tormenting you has mercy.
Anyways, this section here is just for open free expression about stuff, that maybe others will study and learn about in the future...and that's another thing I hate about 'man', they always and only wanna celebrate you when dead and gone, never while in your prime, always when dead and gone, or old and crusty, when no longer a threat to them, that they do finally want to acknowledge your greatness.
Man is sick to the core.
Is what I tell self.
Not only that, but would like stuff to be in order, no matter how I die or leave this world. I don't even have a will yet, not that I have anything to leave behind.
But even all my online stuff, I'd like to 'will' all my passwords to someone, all my writings could be profitable one day, if utilized properly.
Not close with biological family, so would probably like 'will' all my blogs and stuff to some Librarian.
Why am I even thinking like this?
I don't know, things just seem pointless to me at times now, it's like my whole life been surrounded by dead beats, no one 'acts', you come up with great ideas, and no one acts on them, yet they follow me, as in on social media, but also in real life.
No one acts, it's like I'm just out of alignment with my social environment, so just keep aging and always surrounded by dead beats....even my neighbors are dead beats.
Of all people to move right up around me, why not younger energized types, why always living corpses, or urban oddities that I have nothing in common with, why not ever some young hot visionary?
it's always like that with me, and I'm just sick of it, sick of no action people, I'm beginning to hate them actually cause they've robbed me of my potential, are the types that actually get jelous of your potential and would rather bury your potential....until finally older, tired, and lack energy to do anything.
The people who failed to help me in life are like demons to me, literally my personal demons...or posessed by demons.
I just don't know what else to do to stand out, to make it. Fate has just been terrible to me.
If could give up I would, but in life, even if you give up, you still get dragged along.
It's not like in the movies where when you give up, suddenly the sky opens and divine hands reach down and rescue you.
No, instead you 'give up', and nothing changes, you still get treated like crap, ignored, shunned, battered ect, so giving up has no effect, there's no relief in giving up when there's nothing tangible to give up to.
Giving up only matters when the person or entity tormenting you has mercy.
Anyways, this section here is just for open free expression about stuff, that maybe others will study and learn about in the future...and that's another thing I hate about 'man', they always and only wanna celebrate you when dead and gone, never while in your prime, always when dead and gone, or old and crusty, when no longer a threat to them, that they do finally want to acknowledge your greatness.
Man is sick to the core.