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Post by X factor on Aug 23, 2020 17:42:34 GMT -5
The door is now 'sealed', to anyone in the past, who did not reach out, who made me feel like an oddity, now to me, they're the oddities.
And they shall never see me again, and if do, it will be me, who won't recognize them.
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Post by X factor on Aug 24, 2020 16:19:59 GMT -5
Avoid becoming friends with, or even getting in a romantic relationship with, anyone who feels it's their 'duty' to evaluate you
Avoid such scum, for it will only get worse, and they will always make you feel 'sick' when you're not, not in the least bit.
What they really want is for you to comply with their 'will', and if you resist complying with their will, than it's cause 'you have issues'.
Such types will end up leaving you, sooner or later, and of course will tell you 'you need to straighten up' ect boom bop, while they head into another relationship where they can once again begin evaluating another person, and comparing them to 'you'.
The thing about rebels and outlaws, if ever been apart of such a group, they don't evaluate one another, they embrace one another instead and use 'quirky' dispositions to their advantage.
Not that gangs and outlaws should be anyones example of proper relationships, but just saying, sometimes you can learn from groups other than your own, if you're objective.
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Post by X factor on Aug 24, 2020 16:23:14 GMT -5
And I avoid becoming friends with anyone who's every other word is 'Jesus', like the plague I avoid them.
I have nothing against Jesus, but I do avoid the pitfalls of trying to be friends with anyone who thinks their 'Holy'.
They're a crash waiting to happen.
Many devils have become Christians
Never forget that.
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Post by X factor on Sept 12, 2020 13:01:11 GMT -5
Friend-O-Meter It's kind of nice not having any close friends, now that I think about it...why? Cause you don't have to explain why you are who you are, that's why. With no friends, there's nothing to feel or be embarraced about. With no friends, there's no 'Oh what if they find out this' type of crap. With no friends, there's no one you're accountable to, you can be as artistic as you please, without explaining why. And then funny how the very person or people who wouldn't be your friend, suddenly praise your 'art' when they encounter it elsewhere and have no idea it's 'you', or your art. Both funny, sad and pathetic how that works.
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Post by X factor on Sept 12, 2020 14:58:43 GMT -5
How can I put this? This idea that you can ever go back and make things right with people is erroneous, I mean if they didn't want to understand you 'then', what makes you, us, I, think they'd want to understand you, us, I, now? You can never make sense to some one with a flawed sense of reality. In other words, a flawed mind, will 'invent', and then project outward an image they think you should be, and if you don't live up to their invented image of you, than to them it's you who are 'off'. So to go back, and think you can 'make things right', with those who are demented, is a mistake, for they are still demented even today. Freedom and happiness is not being around such types. Freedom and happiness is not feeling like you have to apologize for being 'you'. And 'you', is whatever you have to be to survive in your environment, be that environment physical, mental, or even spiritual. The version of 'you', they want you to be doesn't exist, or if does, than one small part of over all self. Like a cube partitioned into many smaller cubes...  You're the whole cube, but you're also made up of different smaller cubes with different colors and projected moods. But people tend to only want to see 'one singular' square cube of you, and that's it. They want you to be, need you to be, 'singular' all of the time, not for your sake or convience, but rather for their own. That's very selfish when you think about it. And if you're sorrounded by people or anyone who is 'surprised' that you're actually larger or more complex than their small brain could fathom, than such types will only yield sorrow for you. It's either you're their way, or no way. Either you fit into this small cage they have built for you, or to them, it's you who are 'bad', cause you refuse to step inside of their cage. Never return to people like that, for they will never change, but you must in order to get the most out of life. |
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Post by X factor on Sept 12, 2020 15:05:38 GMT -5
I use to always try 'reaching back', but now realize when do so, I feel worse, cause you're still speaking, trying to convince those, or a person, who was incapable of growing with you 'back then', and expecting them to grow with you 'now'.
That's not going to happen.
Or to put it another way, it's like being an abused house wife, and thinking you can return to your former Husband, who hasn't changed a bit, but you convince yourself that if there's only something different you could do 'this time', that some how their eyes will be opened.
Nope, all you can do is leave and never look back.
To go back and dig up old junk, will simply yield new more complex junk in life.
Leave it in the trash and move on.
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Post by X factor on Sept 12, 2020 15:14:11 GMT -5
Read the biography of Janice Joplin, the wild female rocker from Texas, back during the 60's.
She was forever haunted at the fact her former classmates never respected her...even after achieving fame, she went back to class reunion, and they still held their nose up to her.
Think about that,.....they refused to allow her to 'grow', but instead wanted her, Janice Joplin, to stay in the cage they had built for her years ago in High school.
That's how people are though, they need you to be a certain way in their own mind to protect their delicate sense of 'self'.
Again, avoid people like that, and you'll thank yourself moving forward.
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Post by X factor on Sept 12, 2020 15:21:58 GMT -5
Read the biography of Janice Joplin, the wild female rocker from Texas, back during the 60's. She was forever haunted at the fact her former classmates never respected her...even after achieving fame, she went back to class reunion, and they still held their nose up to her. Think about that,.....they refused to allow her to 'grow', but instead wanted her, Janice Joplin, to stay in the cage they had built for her years ago in High school. That's how people are though, they need you to be a certain way in their own mind to protect their delicate sense of 'self'. Again, avoid people like that, and you'll thank yourself moving forward. Yes, if you 'go back', it will be the same results, you'll always be made to feel 'there's something wrong with you'. I mean look at who you're trying to please... People, beings, who are fatter than you, don't look as good as you, aren't in as good as shape as you, have flat drabby personalities, no imagination, cruel, mean....why would you ever want to go back to that which is inferior in all ways? But that's what inferior people do, they enjoy making the gifted feel as if they, the gifted, need their approval. Moving on is the right thing to do, for soon they will all rot. |
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 7:21:33 GMT -5
I just went back and deleted a few posts that, even for here, I felt were a bit to 'dark', even if 'theatrical'.
One thing for sure, people who don't love you aren't worth standing up for or ____ for, or doing anything for, it's a waste of energy.
Save energy for future family, future possible friends, those who actually do care, otherwise you get all riled up in vain.
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 7:33:08 GMT -5
Everything in life is circular
Every thing in life is circular, in a orbit, this applies to the physical and metaphysical realm alike.
It's as if every thing is on 'auto-pilot', and we're simply allowed to shuffle around within the craft.
Nothing stays hidden forever either, some things that are uncovered are just 'silly' stuff, but other things that are uncovered can be very malicious, dark, dirty and mean, either way, nothing remains hidden forever.
Even social dynamics change, we see it changing now in broader society, but it also changes within own smaller inner world or relationships and or how others relate to 'you'.
Auto pilot.
The day is coming when all those who ran from you, shunned you, will run back to you, and seek you, but the question is, will you still want them in your life or even recognize them.
Everything is circular, just be ready for when you're in season again.
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 15:00:34 GMT -5
I actually don't want any friends anymore, for to have such, I'd have to shrink myself again and become very small.
Nor do I need nor want family, cause same thing applies.
The only exception is if it's my own created 'birth' family, as in I get married and were to create a biological family of my own, with wife, hobbits, dog, and cat, gerbils.
That's the only Kingdom I'm really looking to be apart of anymore where 'Love' is by default, rather than something you have to prove or earn.
(I'm sure some would disagree with that, at least when it comes to the spousal part, cause like how many divorces are there??)
But you get the drift.
I just don't need friends anymore, I'm realizing the relationships, types of friendships from in high school, middle school, early years, those can never be replicated, so I can only cherish them when I had them, and be wise to this new reality of treachery.
I just don't need friends anymore.
And those I would, should, get along with, for whatever reasons we're just seperated by 'Time and Space'.
They're out there, but I just can never seem to meet them.
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 20:27:19 GMT -5
To me, you have to be a fool to
To me, you have to be a fool to see how much 'potential' someone like me has as a writer, a story teller, a illustrator, and never ever think to 'approach me', with opportunity.
And I've been sorrounded by head in the sand fools for years.
They'll put down my own creativity, yet turn on TV and praise another's...makes no sense.
Well they've had their chance.
No more will anyone be allowed in my life who gives you that 'I'm embarraced of you glance or look'.
Name me one person in Hollywood, one entertainer, one singer, song writer, any one who's made it in sports, who isn't contriversial!!
Fools!!
Never ever approach me again, you sat on your azzes instead of helping me to succeed.
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 20:34:17 GMT -5
Me, on the other hand, whenever I see another with skill or talent, all I ever try to do is encourage them towards fiscal success, I either tell them to go back to college, or take these classes or go this direction and so forth, even offered to pay for some people to better themselves in the past
(no ones ever done that for me)
And all these mo foes to paranoid to go forward, and so today where are they?...Archie Bunker fat, that's where they are.
Me, still here and still energized.
Mentally healthy and as young as ever.
Waste your life being stupid, fine, but never again will you waste mine.
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 20:41:52 GMT -5
Anyone, who has ever come in contact with me, seen my potential, but never bothered to help me, ever, in any way, will probably be looked at as a enemy going forward.
There is no excuse, life is short, and the fact you sat there, and never wanted me to succeed, that totally grosses me out.
Then what did you want for me to do, die?
Well now you're dead to me.
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Post by smallpint on Sept 13, 2020 20:55:46 GMT -5
Anyone, who has ever come in contact with me, seen my potential, but never bothered to help me, ever, in any way, will probably be looked at as a enemy going forward. There is no excuse, life is short, and the fact you sat there, and never wanted me to succeed, that totally grosses me out. Then what did you want for me to do, die? Well now you're dead to me. You need to calm down, |
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