X factors blog and journal...

War - Don't let no one get you down





Goofy azz moe hoe...but none the less don't let no one get you down.

Not passionate about much right now, here's why, and maybe here are some solutions

Right now I'm just not passionate about much at all, nothing, as in when off, nothing motivated to do or get done.

I have podcast equipment yet mind not into it, could write a book, mind not into it, could learn some instruments, mind not into it...could possible go back to some kind of school, as in online courses, mind not into it.

Could open up another website, mind not into it, could go hiking in nature, take photographs like I use to so love to do, mind not into it.

I'm just not into much right now, and maybe cause I realize now that 'right and wrong' doesn't matter, I mean I've always know right and wrong doesn't matter to certain types, but now it's like right and wrong doesn't matter to powerful elected officials and law makers and decision makers and or even to partisan types, social media moguls and so forth.

As such what would I be fighting for?

Whom would I be fighting for?, and does anyone ever fight for me?

I just feel detached now, like I just don't care what happens to others, as they don't care what happens to me.

I feel I could spend 8 hours putting together the best Podcast episode ever, and would only get 2-5 views.

I just feel everything I do is a wasted effort until 'my time comes'...a time appointed by fate, not me....but until then, I just don't feel anything I do really matters.

Is why I use to always say you have to do 'it' for yourself, whatever you do, it has to be primarily for yourself, as selfish as that sounds it's true, cause the minute you think you're doing it for others, than you're finished, and will lose all motivation the first time you don't get 'feedback'.

And I was immune to that 'feedback' stuff for years and years, but then suddenly, within last 8 months or so, I don't know...just not inspired anymore to help anyone.

I mean I'm always giving stuff away, literally just giving stuff to people, yet no one ever gives anything to me.

I just don't know what has happened to my spirit lately...it's as if I've given up on others, the world, and would rather just focus on self.

Recenlty paid %$500.00 dollars for two sports guys to run adds on Iheart radio, don't even hear from them anymore, and that's just one example, it's as if people don't want me in their lives,but are so super glad to take whatever I 'gift' away.

And women don't impress me anymore, at least not where I stay, same ole cycle of stupidity is all I see, and middle aged bodies that don't arouse me at all.

So I don't know...I'm fine, not hurting for much at the moment, so maybe that's all I should worry about...heck I haven't even cashed $1,400.00 stimilus check yet, why should I?...maybe I will tomorrow or next week, in no rush.

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What I need to do is figure out what is 'fun' to me, yes fun, fun can be selfish, but fun can also be like a arrow head into other things once you get the 'juices of happiness and joy' flowing again.

I mean I'm content right now, but there's nothing that really gets me excited.

Dating sites are all but useless right now, full of bots, or spam or spies, or street women, criminals ect...all they do is harvest your information and picture.

Just tired of seeking action, so maybe I should just sit still and let the action seek or find me for a change.

I don't know...I thought this post would help clarify my mind, it hasn't.

Was going to change out this image, but then saw this post posted back in 2013!...nearly 8 years ago, then got sentimental and just couldn't...I swear this place here, the Zone, is like a photo album of life, like so few other public places are.

So image will stay.

Life can be so sad and happy both at the same time, the life and thoughts between our ears that is where all things are generated.

Yes, open your arms and whatever to big tech, and they can change your world, you sissy screwball.

My dream is to be able to make a movie before I get to old to care anymore



I'm so checking stuff like this out as of late, why?

Cause my dream is to create a movie, any movie, horror, comedy, drama, paranormal, ect, before I get to old to care.

And I don't want to go to some film school to do this...why would I want to wast $80,000 dollars on some film school?..think how much camera equipment $80,000 could by...but, but...I get it, without going to a film school, you don't get the 'connections'...I get it.

Film school opens doors for you ect ect and 'couch' type of BS.

That's just how the world rolls sad to say.

The gatekeepers want you to pay your due's or they just won't open the gates of opportunity for you...my delima.

To me there's a difference between 'Mothers', vs women who just have hobbits out of their own selfish or reckless reasons

I'm not one who thinks all mothers are 'great' or should be celebrated, for to me not all mothers, or women who have 'babies' are equal in status.

Some births are planned, other births are do to total disregard for morality and responsibility, and by 'chance'.

The most stupid thing I ever hear women say is when they're shocked that they're pregnant...huh?, what!

I mean having sox like a jack rabbit with man you don't plan to marry, then when find out 'you're' pregnant act all surprised?

What kind of willful stupidity is that?

Then once have mild, or mild is born, repel all good decent men from life, but instead continue to willingly date, 'lay with' men of the lowest moral standard (cause deep down inside you yourself don't want a commitment either, or to be bothered with marriage)(today's female mindset)

Then years later claim to be some 'super mom' cause drove all good men out of life and forced to raise mild on 'your own'.

Ye, OK.

I mean if males could get pregnant I'm sure they would to and also claim to be 'super dads'.

Get the F out of my face with that stuff.

Just look at inner city crime, and you'll see the results of 'super moms' who had babies for their own selfish or reckless reasons, or just out of plain stupidity, and look at the results, people afraid to walk out of their homes at night in urban areas habitated by such.

Having babies out of wedlock and violating every moral code known to man, does not make one a super mom in my book...not even.

'Oh, I need a friend who won't leave me ever.....I know, I think I'll get pregnant and have a baby, that way no matter how flawed I am, mean, cruel, this baby of mine can never leave me, and like a pet, they'll be under my control...mine mine mine'.....says the self centered concieted woman who has a baby for selfish reasons.