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Post by X factor on Jan 17, 2013 23:49:43 GMT -5
Welcome to the TwylightZone. A place of honest thoughts, picked up from all, and intercepted from the subconscious minds of many.
Eventually you'll find yourself in here too, in one of the many halls and corridors.
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Post by X factor on Jan 18, 2013 0:11:01 GMT -5
I find traditional blog spaces to be way way to cramp...and they feel dead to me, very one dimensional... When I write, because i'm so broad, I need space...a Mansion of sorts...and I just prefer the wide open space of a forum verses the narrow tight feel of a blog site...which you can't even tell if no one reads or not...and the reader can't tell if the blog is still active or dead... Some blogs are still floating around from a decade ago...the author long gone... Blogs or online journals should be like water falls...  They should always be fresh, and updated regularly...readers should just know that your still around posting relevant material... Very few have the ability to do that...and I'm one of those few... And as I get going...I will share this site, or certain posts...and people will slowly begin to drift in...it's always slow at first...no biggy... I write first and foremost for me...then for others...but mainly for myself... Self sustaining... Interaction is fine...but i don't need it...it's like I'm fueled by atomic energy or something... Anyways...slowly but surely, this place will fill up and come to life with thoughts and posts, and will slowly but surely begin to take on a personality all it's own... But for now...I'm still in the moving in stage...like unloading the truck moving boxes up the stairs phase... Much more to follow... |
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Post by X factor on Feb 8, 2013 9:18:43 GMT -5
I'm different in that I do need a whole forum to myself...to me it's a better way to blog...looks more alive and relavant than most straight up and down blog pages...
This way I can post opinion pieces or news stories, and then just share the link with those i want to read it...and unlike other forums where moderators act like headhunters, or post hunters...
here I don't have to worry about some mod deleting what I post simply cause they don't share my opinion....
There's nothing more frustrating than writing something you feel is totally relevant, just to have some mod sitting at home in pajamas, on the couch, eating dorito chips, come by and delete what you wrote...and then scolding you with an infraction...
I've so out grown the need to have my writings croutiqued by total strangers...
I can't do that no more...cause I take my writings seriously...
Most forums are just to overly moderated...and most mods aren't fair...no human is...
So they wipe out posts there narrow view of the world doesn't agree with....
So that's why I just prefer a forum all to myself...where I can post thoughts, and share them with others through links...without worrying about some mod erasing it...
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Post by X factor on Mar 3, 2013 17:21:12 GMT -5
 Hello... Not really in the mood to write...just not... Not sure what I am in this world anymore...what I'm suppose to be to others... Everyone defines you in such a different way depending on who they are and what they've been taught and what they've been through... So everytime you meet someone it's like starting all over again... You can know some for years...and they still don't trust you...or you can meet someone, and minutes after meeting them, they trust you with their life... There's no rhyme or reason to this madness... Things appear so randomn at times that it even makes you wonder if 'god' even cares anymore... Sometimes you just want to give up...in that you get tired of trying to impress other humans... But in todays world, you can't even give up easy... There's really no where to retreat to and hide, unless you have money... You see and read about and observe gross behavior every day, yet are forced to live around it, people who display it, cause your poor, or not rich enough to just flee.... Whole communities that are just mentally sick...but again...unless you have millions or hundreds or thousands to finance your escape...then your stuck living around the masses... Societies were never meant to get this big, and weren't in the past... Now we just have surplus societies, surplus populations... People born just to be born...without a plan or purpose from the parents... Government feeds everyone...keeps everyone alive... In the past, nature took care of all of that...families didn't have babies they couldn't take care of, feed and or raise... Not so today...with grocery stores and McDonalds on every corner... A surplus society produces a lot of deviant behaviors...cause people no longer have roles to fulfill... So they fulfill those roles in other ways.. I have no love for it anymore... I just wish I could move away from it all...and let people fight, argue, hate, plot, scheme...on their own, without me being around it... If your not already rich...than you just end up getting old scraping by... Always being told that if you just work a little harder you'll make it to the top...ye ok... Anyways...time to do some chores... |
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Post by X factor on Mar 3, 2013 22:26:05 GMT -5
Tomorrow is a monster... Tomorrow is a monster...waiting to arrive and devour countless 1000's...maybe even me and you... Tomorrow is like a giant vacuum cleaner, that sucks up 1000's of souls daily...sucks them up for them never to return.... If tomorrow never arrived, death would have no power... But tomorrow facilitates death...they go hand in hand... Tomorrow facilitates bad news, bills, deadlines, automobile crashes, old age, illness, disease, tension, cancer and everything else bad... Tomorrow is like a monster with it's mouth wide open, waiting to devour... Tomorrow is like a conveyer belt of doom...whisking people closer to the edge... Closer to uncertainty, closer to their demise... Today, on the other hand...and 'right now'...'this moment'...is safe...it is your friend...for you're aware and conscious... Today, right now, this moment, is safe...but tomorrow isn't... Tomorrow is unknown...full of unknown quantities...most of which aren't good for the average person not destined to prosper... More headaches, more bad news...mixed in with a few good things... Tomorrow is ruthless...and has destroyed many... The safest place to be is 'right now'...cause in the 'right now'...nothing can hurt you, unless your already in a bad situation... Evil and tomorrow go hand in hand.... Evil rides tomorrow the way fleas ride rodents... I cherish 'right now'...and wish I could make 'right now' last forever... Cause right now I'm safe, warm and content...and tomorrow hasn't grabbed me yet... Be safe out there...and beware of tomorrow...
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Post by X factor on Mar 3, 2013 22:46:36 GMT -5
Tomorrow won't leave you alone...as time keeps on ticking forward...
Who amongst us has enough money to solve tomorrows issues?
The frustrations of tomorrow, will be the same frustrations of last week...same sloths, same attitudes, same traffic lights...same delays...nothing will, or has changed...
Everyone and everything is set in it's ways, and feels justified in doing so or being so...
Just more of the same...the broke and poor will remain broke and poor...
And the wealthy class will continue to compile wealth...
Tomorrow brings nothing now for the average soul...just more of the same...
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Post by X factor on Mar 3, 2013 23:00:48 GMT -5
Those who don't like you today, will continue not liking you tomorrow...sludge moves forward...
The only way you can have a positive effect on tomorrow is by being 'good'...by helping someone...making someone feel good...assisting someone you normally wouldn't...forgiving someone you normally might not...
The only variable in tomorrow is our behavior...it's the only wiggle room we've been given...
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Post by X factor on Mar 4, 2013 22:41:09 GMT -5
Wore out and tired...what else can I say...wore out and tired...and fading away...
Should I turn this into a rymne...what I'm feeling tonight?
Or should I just continue to write about my, our, measly plight through life...
I'm tired already, and still have such a long ways to go...
How I will make it, I don't even know...
Pay checks are a joke, you get no where like that...
Some times I just want to stay home, eat Cheetos and get fat...
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Post by X factor on Mar 6, 2013 22:19:30 GMT -5
Came in today, ate, and then just laid back on couch and faded into sleep...
Feeling detached from everything at the moment...
Maybe I do that at times when the reality I wanted, or want, is so different from the reality that 'is'...
So maybe rather than feeling disappointed, it's easier to just ignore everything...
Cause dwelling on all the things you can't fix about life or personal circumstances, could land you in the looney bin...
Doing things right, in a world that is so wrong, seems futile at times...
You can do good, follow the 10 commandments, and others will still hold stuff against you...
Your color, age, gender, orientation, political affiliation, religion, height, personal style, place of origin, what college you went to, or didn't, social status, on and on and on...
No matter how good you act and behave in your own mind, that behavior or belief, to someone else is offensive...
No biggy if your financially on top or independent...but when the people who don't like you or are bias towards you, hold the keys to your success or income...forget about it...
Cause they will never see you as being worthy of someone who should get ahead...
In todays world, with all the political and religious divide, I doubt even Jesus would be as popular in the person...
Right off the bat, all the muslims would be offended...then the atheist, budhist, and all the other religons...
It's all starting to make less and less sense...not more sense...
The only way things can make sense anymore is if you brain lock yourself into only believing in one thing, and shutting out all other information...
Then and only then can you have blissful ignorant peace...
Which many seem to be ok with...
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Post by X factor on Mar 9, 2013 18:56:38 GMT -5
In a off mood today...
You can only live in the wrong social environment for so long before it begins to effect your over all mood...
Another odd thing...like right now I'm watching 'The Shining'...before that 'Interview with a Vampire'...
Books, screen plays turned into movies...full of gore and sadistic themes...
Yet if you write like that on your blog...you get attention...
But if your 'licensed' or commercially sell your writings in the name of 'art' or 'a book' or 'a story'....seems to be no limit to what you can write about....
Odd how that works...
You can claim to be an author, writing 'fiction'...and write about all sorts of dark stuff...but if your just an independent writer, not writing for profit...you get scrootinized....
You just can't have fun on the internet anymore like you use to could...the golden days of the internet are behind us...regular type bloggers...
But if you're into commercialism, and adds, and add bots and apps and all that stuff...the internet favors you now...
Cause all it has become is one big information gathering portal...
If your computer is unprotected, run a 'simple check' computer maintenance program, and see how many intrusion attempts are made on your PC....
In real life, people would get layed out if they tried to enter your home or house the way they feel they can slither their way into your PC...
In real life...if some stranger opened your front door and intruded...well...
Point is, if it's not right to do it in real life, why do slimey soulless souls feel they can intrude in on you online?
Slimy is slimy, whether online or real life...a liars a liar, regardless...and slimy behavior is slimy behavior...regardless...
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Post by X factor on Mar 10, 2013 15:46:28 GMT -5
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KBQy0z_vAoSome times I feel I was sent here to die...cause I can't seem to live anymore...I can only live 'within'...in memories, but not in the present... I can't live in my soroundings... There's a long story behind it all that I spoke about often on other website I had...until I just deleted everything... If your not in tune with your environment, which includes the people, eventually it will get to you...and you will eventually die...a slow agonizing death...first the spirit, then the mind, then the body... Above in the FICTIONAL portrait art of myself...or I should say my legs... It says I was strangled... Oddly enough that's how I feel now, where I stay...like I'm being slowly strangled by my circumstances...to include this social environment I find myself stuck in...some 2700 miles or so from where I really grew up... Alone, no friends, no social activities, single, totally alienated... To put it plainly...it sucks...and it's complicated... The South East is like no other place you'll ever live... And gets more complicated when your a person of color... A diverse person from the West Coast...Pacific NW to be precise... One who grew up under many different types of influences...not just pitch black, jet black, colonial southern types who have never ever left the ways or mindset of the South East... I'm as out of place here as a white person from Idaho would be...probably more so... I'm hopelessly stuck between two or 3 or 4 worlds... I'm not urban or ghetto...I'm not white...if anything I'm like 'Prince'....very artistical when allowed to be, or when in an environment condusive to such.... It would be like Prince trying to live in a modern day, gutter mentality hood...  Prince would never make it in todays gutter mentality hood...never...and nor can I... Prince came about during a time before Rap totally took over everything...when it was still OK for black males or males of color to have artistical range...all within the realm of heterosoxuality... But now that 'thug gutter rap style and dress and sway' has taken over everything...artist like Prince are no more... Well not true...cause I'm like Prince...but you practically have to hide who you are or what you want to be most of the time... The hood, blacks in the hood, are the most intolerant of all people on the planet...cruel, mean, without understanding of other cultures or styles... And living in such a food stamp environment is very suffocating to me... To the point where I may have to bolt, leave, for my own sanity and health...mental health... I just can't take living around such close minded souls...people who litter...throw dam trash on the ground right next to garbadge can... Even wild hogs urinate away from where they sleep...but these South East urban types...they litter, throw trash right on the ground in their own habitat...and mine...it discusses me very much so... I'm not gutter nor am I trash...and I'm sick of living around these non artistical, se gutter rap listening to urban trolls... Even though I'm I person of color...I have more in common with white skinheads than I do the folks here... All the males here are sloths...felons or ex felons...dress hood 24/7....have no hope, no aspirations above the hood...leach off of their mothers well into adulthood, or leach off of their female lovers... No one studies math, or science, or engineering or anything...everyone here dresses like a urban goon...and thus cycle continues...to stupid to see it's all a dead end.... And the Government just keeps feeding them with checks...encouraging same destructive behavior.... I hate this environment...the people here have no incentive to change...and so they don't.... Anyways...sorry...have a lot built up inside of me since I lost my underworld forum blog... And nothing against middle class, hard working blacks who are responsible, and not self hating bigots who attack their own do to insecurity.... Time to post....
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Post by X factor on Mar 16, 2013 1:48:37 GMT -5
There's no such thing as 'nuetral' in this world anymore...
Cause whatever you are, others will react to it visually, and assume things, without ever talking with you...
Eye sight actually seems to blind people more than it helps them, us, to see...
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Post by X factor on Mar 19, 2013 22:39:12 GMT -5
Not everyone values you the same...
There are really some who actually believe, from the core of their living biological being, that they are more 'valid' than you...more real, and or superior by default...
That's fine...but what's not fine is when they actually expect you to by into their interpitation of things.
In other words they're shocked when they find out that they mean as little to you, as you mean to them.
But what's also not fine, is that in some places, or nations, some people, or a ruling class of people sometimes have the physical might or machinery to enforce their superior views of themselves onto others.
In other words if a whole ruling class of people in charge of the military and infrastructure all think they are better than group a, b or c, or all...now they have the power through might, to enforce their personal biases.
Every country in the world has a history of that, as does every region, and you can keep breaking it down to smaller geographic areas to include your older sibling picking on you as a hobbit.
But some people don't just stop at picking on you, and if they had their way would extinguish you, us, to enforce their view of the world.
It goes on now in various countries around the world, like Seria and other middle eastern and North African countries.
Luckly in America, there's protection under the law, where everyones viewed as 'equal' by default...
Of equal value.
And rights come with this 'value' that every ones assigned...so that it doesn't matter if someone doesn't like you or not...they still have to respect your induvisual right to exist.
But if you break the law, those rights can be taken from you, us. And that's what courts and jails and prisons are for...to warehouse such induvisuals who trampled on the rights of others.
Anyways...it's late...
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Post by X factor on Mar 30, 2013 16:58:31 GMT -5
Hello...
It's been a while...I've been writing elsewhere...
Things seem predictable when your 'good' living in a bad world...
I don't mean good in a shallow political sense, or visual sense...
Good basically just means your nice, kind, and leave others alone...
It means your intent is always good or decent...and that you don't exploit others, or put others down...
That you basically live and let live.
And it also means that you never do anything that mentally or physically harms others...
It also means you don't cheat or rob others to get ahead...or whisper untruths or unvalidated truths about others that will harm their reputation...
I'm nieve, or was, in that I just thought everyone was basically 'good'...
I was wrong...
And I use to think that being good, had it's rewards...it doesn't...
Not here on earth anyways...
Cause if people don't like you, they can always lie...the way Satan did against 'God' almighty, and convinced 1/3 of the angelic hosts, that his accusations against 'God' was true.
But I really don't see good people being rewarded for anything anymore...instead I see good people quietly enduring pain and suffering...
The world, this country, seems to being going amuck...all these crazy headlines of teachers stomping on U.S. flags, forcing students to stomp on pictures of 'Jesus'...
Just bizzar anti-holy, reverence behavior seems to be sprouting up everywhere...
From all looks of things...Satan, the devil, seems to be winning...
Marriage is all but decimated...I'm talking about hetrosoxual marriage...
Marriage just seems to be an after thought now...fornication is everywhere...there is no 'guilt' to wait to married anymore...
Gang culture now taking over whole cities in California...
Things are just changing...
I can't sit here and claim to speak for 'god'...but if there is one, that reflects to 'god' of the bible...one would have to suspect that passage of 'same sox marriage'...would be the last straw, as far as 'god' protecting this nation...
But I suppose proponents of 'gay marriage' could say that people said the same thing after desegregation and other social taboos of the past...
People can say 'god' has had plenty of times, moments in history, in the past to be outraged enough to intervene and put an end to life on Earth Noahs flood style...
For instance some could say if god wasn't outraged by 400 years of not nessisarily slavery, but the inhumane treatment of those under it's system, than why would god suddenly be outraged about same sox marriage...
It's kind of an endless argument that could go on indefinatly...
And besides, most of us have nothing to do with anything...and all we do is sit back and watch it all...born into it...
Anyways...time to post..
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Post by X factor on Apr 3, 2013 19:23:57 GMT -5
Not feeling so well right now..  .....jepordized my immune system by drinking beer...as such I caught a cold... I'm a firm believer that drinking alcohol lowers your immune system and leaves you open to infection, colds, the flu, and other things your immune would normally fight off... I'm just writing freestyle right now...I'm congested...and trying to stay active within dwelling...cause laying down is so uncomfortable, unless you fall asleep right away...otherwise it's agony just laying there feeling congested... It's raining out right now...  So much going on in the news... And there seems to be some kind of war of retribution going on between certain prison gangs, and law enforcement officers... Once LEO's loose touch with what's going on on the streets, it puts them at a great disadvantage... The streets will tell you anything you want to know...and a good police force knows this... Once you loose touch with the streets, then the force becomes 1 dimensional...and reactive, instead of proactive... They need to put their resources back on the streets, instead of online watching, spying, on people who post silly artistical portraits of self...what a waste of resources... And how long are they going to milk this N Korea stuff? And why is the U.S. the only country that seems to be all up in arms about N Korea having Nukes? Why doesn't Russia care or Australia or South Africa or Canada? Americans are way more of a threat to other Americans, than N Korea is...506 homicides in Chicago last year...American against American violence seems to be the real threat these days... All focused on Islamic terrorist, and now the A-Brotherhood is emerging here domestically... Mexican Mafia, and all sorts of other Prison born movements and gangs and identities... That's what happens when this nations laws end up locking so many people up for everything...  Soon it's starts to back up and spill back out into the streets... Now you have 10's of 1000's of former inmates who can't get hired anywhere and have a better financial future with organized crime than they do McDonalds...who now wants you to have a degree in Massachusettes... This nation just can't handle all the people anymore... To many different people going different directions, different value systems, different religions...everyone, like the Universe, just seems to be scattering... The laws of this land seem to be the only thing keeping order anymore...and barely... Heck, you can't even preach religion or Jesus anymore or you'll get rocks thrown at you... Odd times these are indeed... |
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.....jepordized my immune system by drinking beer...as such I caught a cold...