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Post by X factor on Nov 7, 2015 6:42:55 GMT -5
Opposites attract I guess
Physically we couldn't be different, artistically we couldn't be more different, our public manners are totally different, yet this Nazi/Aryan types likes me as a friend.
They're homophobic, I'm not, they're standard classical male dress, I'm not, at least not when in seclusion or safe/relaxed environment.
They use brass crude language, I do not (at least not when sober and in public)
We are both single though, and of the same sox.
It's just a odd mix.
I sometimes have a softer 'fem' side, they do not.
Our skin tones are a bit different.
We basically have nothing in common on the surface, yet they like me, reside in me, love chatting on the phone with me about blue collar stuff, daily stuff.
I'm not a phone talker type, I don't like talking on phone for over 5 minutes usually.
I think I do know what level we connect on in that I can kind of see where we're both kind of outcast even amongst the groups we're suppose to fit in with.
But me, maybe more so than them, in that I think they could fit into their group better than I could mine.
But if that were the case why are they pretty much a loner like myself?
And according to what I hear from them, there's not much loyalty amongst older skin head types, just betrayal.
Even older skin head types begin to think and ponder about their lives when they get older, I guess.
They'll never completely change, and the only reason why we get a long is cause , wait they're calling me now.
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Post by X factor on Nov 7, 2015 7:54:14 GMT -5
Nazi/Aryan/golden odd couple friendship They're talking to me now as I type this...yappity yap yap...they love to talk talk talk. Why do they like me? Is it because I'm so patient with them? I listen where no one else does. They've been to prison, have so many stories, and I just listen, where as no one else does, I guess. Yappity yap yap, they're still talking to me on phone. Now they're sharing stories with me about bunking while in prison...  (can't share what they just told me, to private)...but oh my goodness... Long pause... They're still talking... I'm still listening... They will not let me off the phone. We connect on some odd level I guess. To be continued...
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Post by X factor on Nov 8, 2015 12:00:18 GMT -5
Nazi guy coming over in a few, wants me to show them aroundI can't shake them, it's raining hard, they're still coming, they want me to show them areas where they can possibly move to. They're stubborn, not even rain will keep them away from me. They've found someone they can trust, get along with, and now won't let go. Life is just to odd...
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Post by X factor on Nov 15, 2015 14:59:06 GMT -5
This guy likes to talk, but it's usually about them, their issues.
They like to talk, cause I'm intelligent, listen, and properly can interpit what they're trying to convey.
Older Nazi types have a hard time finding anyone who wants anything to do with them.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 0:39:20 GMT -5
Nazi guy wants to hang out tomorrow on T-DayThe Nazi guy wants to go out and eat at a public place tomorrow. I don't like going out on T-Day for one, and for two even if I did I doubt I'd want to go out and eat with him at a public place. They kind of remind me of my dad in that people like them like to go out to public places to eat, yet while there are very grumpy and like to complain a lot, and order the hired workers around and talk to them like servants. My dad wasn't a Nazi, but still had that same 'Every body is out to get me' type of mentality. I don't like going out with people like that cause they embarrass you, especially depending on whom you're sitting by. Like my father use to do, this Nazi guy can blurt out rude stuff suddenly, racial stuff, soxually offensive stuff that most people with manners understand is inappropriate. Then what happens is Nazi guy creates environment of hostility and is then surprised when people act hostile back towards them. I don't really know why I'm their friend, you have to have a lot of patients to be friends with a Nazi racist type. There are a few redeeming qualities I suppose, about them, but not many. They say, text, things around and to me that others would be offended by, but I'm more of a 'I know what you mean and not what you say' type of person. If not for me I doubt they'd really have any friend, but oddly enough vice versa. I don't really have any friends either, but for different reasons. But unlike them, I'm generally a much more positive soul, much kinder, and 'God based', which means I forgive, and don't look for fault in others. They're just the opposite, so again, just not sure why we connect, I guess cause deep down inside of both of us there's a void somewhere, a gulf, emptiness. Who knows...to be continued
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 1:47:02 GMT -5
Don't want Nazi type to ruin my normally peaceful Thanksgiving day No wonder this guys alone and can't find a girlfriend who'll stick around, cause there's really not much there, I mean all they like to do is complain about others and look down on others. My life is diversified with people, and although there are some 'hood' types I don't like, I don't generalize blacks or others beyond specific mentalities, where as they do. And I don't want their ugliness rubbing off onto me or I'd never be able to be happy. The mind of a Nazi, any racist, is ugly, and is usually why the older they get, the less people want to be around them, including own families. I don't want them to spoil my happy day tomorrow with their vile venomous thoughts and comments about others. I just don't want to hear that crap all the time. I'm learning from him that there is nothing good about being a racist, it just makes you very ugly on the inside, and you have to live with that self.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 2:03:15 GMT -5
This grumpy Nazi doesn't know how to treat womenAll this grumpy Nazi likes to do is 'hump' women and then leave them, cause they tell me about it all the time. They're a sox addict, like Charlie Sheen, and if not careful they'll get HIV from someone, like Charlie Sheen did. I wish they'd find a woman so that they'd have some one else to confide in all the time other than me. But no woman can tolerate them, I mean what does a grumpy racist older Nazi have to offer a woman of good standing? They're homophobic, mistreat women, see, and use women as soxual objects, they're very racist, use the 'N' word often, they curse a lot, yet we're friends... I don't know why...maybe cause I thought they'd eventually change or evolve. I just don't know. They seem to be liking me more, but not sure how I really feel about them anymore. They work hard, are clean, fiscally some what responsible, but don't make a very good sit down over a meal and conversate type. I don't know...I guess I just needed to get all this off my chest for now.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 14:20:10 GMT -5
Nazi guy wants to come over later, then go out to eatI don't want to go out, nor do I want them to come over. For one I hate going out on Holidays, where you put yourself in position to be put down by others. I hate going out and trying to demand respect from others. You'll never get it unless a known celebrity or something, otherwise their biases will come out in one shape, form or another. And I get sick of allowing others to subtly put you down, you can always see it in their eyes. They don't like you, but serve you only cause they have to. I don't need that sh_t today. On holidays I only need, want, to be around a select few I like and can get along with, not strange servers at Resturants who only pretend to like you. In a way I'm more angry and rebellious than this Nazi guy, for although they complain a lot about being 'white'...they still benefit from 'white privilege' where as I do not. They're way worse than me, yet when we go out together always get treated better, simply cause they're white. That's societal racism for you at work, honor the guy who has done this and that, simply do to their color. Yet I'm upright, respectful, and get put down for no reason. I just wish they'd find another friend. Someone else to lean on. They're OK during the week, to talk to now and then, but not to hang out with. I have diversified friends, why would I want them coming over and blurting out some racist remark? Oh well. We'll see.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 14:42:09 GMT -5
They'll want to go out, and then complain about everythingRacist people are ugly, they harbor a very ugly spirit on the inside, even if they are your friend. But they're only my friend cause I'm one of very few people to tolerate their words. Even other 'white' people don't like them. No one really has use for a older racist who's beyond their prime. I just figure that by being their friend, displaying nice kind, patient demeanor, that it would eventually have redeeming effects on their soul. Maybe I was wrong. Their parents were missionaries, and to were racist or used racist language at home while they were very young. Would go out and help natives in South America, yet come home and use racist language. This effected them greatly, I guess, and is one reason why they don't put much stock in 'God', any God, other than the random god of DNA. I don't dislike them, I just don't know what they ultimately expect from our friendship if they're never willing to evolve or change into more positive light.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 15:00:34 GMT -5
Racist Nazi guy kind of reminds me of character in that movie 'Dallas Buyers Club' Yep, they remind me of this super duper racist, homophobic guy in this movie the 'Dallas buyers club' (based on true life events). Of super duper racist type who contracts HIV, then it turns into aids, and they're abandoned by their other super duper racist friends, and really has no one to turn to but the 'alternative culture'. A mixed bag of people who are use to embracing 'different'. But at first was cruel and mean, then slowly grows fond of a few (also they're his main costumers) as he gets rich selling alternative drug treatment to AZT or something, that was killing people off instead of curing them. Very good movie. But my life isn't a movie, and I'm not paid to be this guys phycologist.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 15:19:39 GMT -5
And not only that, but this Nazi guy likes doing things late, I'm just the oppositeI do things early in the day, when off, I hate waiting till later in evening, cause by then you've already wasted best part of day. Even if I drink, I do so early on, and then sleep during the evening when all the rowdies are out. By the time evening rolls around, I'm ready for bed or to relax. But this guy is just the opposite, waits until late in the day to want to come over and do stuff. I survive cause I do things different than what is predicted of me, I get partying out the way during the day, when it's safe, and stay home at night. This Nazi guy, they're not as smart as they think. And is why they like me, I think, cause I can still teach them a thing or two about survival.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2015 21:26:39 GMT -5
It wasn't so bad after all Went out with Nazi guy, and it actually wasn't so bad at all. Took me to some place way out by the water. They were pretty well behaved. But I'm always like their 'censor' ready to censor or explain or stop them from saying something they shouldn't in front of others or waitress ect. And they trust me, which for some reason I like. I like when people trust me, cause I never let that trust down, it's an honor to be trusted. A Nazi type trusts me...wow. But it's not the Nazi part of them I guard, what I guard is the human side that was probably neglected while younger. Even though they're older, there's still scars, they just weren't raised right at a certain point in their life. They've never had anyone patient enough with them to stick around. They come from a brutal world of prison outlaw types, brotherhood types ect. As such I'm a bit of a oddity to them. Deep down inside they're not so bad, I guess. It's a weird relationship... Like two people who want to be cared about, and needed by anyone, someone. It's just a weird odd relationship, what else can I say.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2015 13:12:19 GMT -5
I don't like talking on the phone, I find phone talking to be a big waste of my time
Yet this guy likes to call, wants to take up big swaths of time, day, evening or night, just blabbing about stuff, their issues, issues I can't solve, have enough of my own.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2015 13:17:48 GMT -5
Everybody wants me to save them, be their superhero, but no one wants to ever step in and save me.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2015 18:18:20 GMT -5
Ring Ring I was shopping, in grocery store...ring ring, I answered since I ignored earlier calls. Good grief...trying to shop, left ear piece at home, was frustrating. And I like to talk to people while out, other customers, cashiers, and couldn't cause was on the phone with them as they told me who they didn't like, who they wanted revenge on ect ect...they were just blowing off steam and needed someone to listen. But when they call they never ask 'Can you talk', instead just launch right in on their own personal issues. I'm just so nice...seems no matter what I'm nice... And hardcore people seem to like that. I'm nice, I listen, and don't judge or try to correct, rather I try to correct through example. I was depressed earlier today, still am, but they would never know that. So even while depressed, I sit there and listen. And sometimes I go off on my on tangents. Oh well. Nothing ends well in this world, no matter what people say, if you think it does just visit a nursing home sometime. Nothing ends well in this world for anyone, unless you consider illness, old age and death a good ending. So I guess live while you can, mean something to those you mean something to while you can, cause in the end, we're all atomic star dust. I need to go to the doctor soon. Can't stand walk in clinics, waiting rooms, cause most there are fat, and moochers of the system, where as I visit doctors maybe once every 5-8 years, and only if something persist. Hate public waiting rooms, hate being around moochers of the system that in any other country would probably be dead by now if in current shape.
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