Remembering & Trying to make sense of dreams...

This dream has to do with praying to an entity, but had to finish dream while awake in order to figure it out

This dream is simply one in a long series, but you know how dreams go, you usually only remember the one that was most vivid.

In this dream, imaging being under water, like in a underwater large gigantic pool, that seems to have no walls or end, and the right side of pool just seems to fade into darkness...



imaging being underwater and not having to breath and able to propel self like a mermaid, even though not. (you know how dreams are physics don't always make sense)

Now imagine yourself at most vulurable stage in life (only you can answer that for self), and imagine yourself at most beautiful stage of life (again only you can answer that, in that for me to insert an image would alienate some, so use you own imagination)

Anyways in dream my, myself or I, as defined from above, kept trying to swim or whatever, to the left of pool darkness, but in dream there was always a underwater disturbance, imagine water being attracted to gravity underwater, like a gravity sphere shaped energy ball.

Well in dream every time I tried to propel self past or near this gravity ball, shapes would come out in the shape of odd looking sharks, sometimes discs, it would vary with each attempt, and I say with each attempt in that once things were dispatched from gravity ball, that was it in that they begin approaching, usually 3 at a time, and that was it.

It wasn't a scary nightmare feeling, rather a feeling of 'oh crap, here we go again'.
You knew you were about to be 'molested' again, not in soxual way, but in spirit world way in that 'You can't get past this shape no matter what', type of way, so you'd get smothered by these forms, fade out, and then scenerio would repeat self again and again and again.

Like a puzzle or something, could never get past this entity...so then woke up, laying in dark, and kept replaying scenerio in mind, and finally I realized what this entity wanted, it wanted acknowledgement, it wanted homage, to be prayed to, I suppose, cause only when did that in head or mind, did I find sudden peace, and was then able to pass by this thing to enter door.

End dream description

I've had a problem with prayer for years in that prayer no longer makes sense to me anymore, hasn't for a while, in that if God is all knowing, why would such 'power' make you pray for something this power already knows you need to be 'well'?
And this idea of this power getting off on a measly human praying to it, suddenly made this power seem petty to me.
I'm not saying that's the proper way to interpit it, but it's how I have over the years as I see rotten people flourishing who never pray, and or if they do, it doesn't seem to soften their soul or outlook or cruelty towards others.

So it makes me wonder does each person have their own 'special interest' god or entity that they, we, pray to, like our we pets to our own individual entity that just likes us to pray to it for whatever reason, I guess the same reason why we like our pets to acknowledge us when we come home.?

I don't know.

It's also why prayer tends to scare me as of late, cause I really don't know what I'm praying to anymore, what if it's some odd looking entity? I have no idea what I'm summoning when I pray.
We all like to think it's the God of the bible, or Jesus or Allah ect, but just because our minds tell us that's what we're praying to, doesn't mean it is.

Anyways, that was the dream, and only way I could get past that underwater mass was to finally acknowledge it, hard as it was to do.

Now I'm wondering if I should do the same in real life, get on knees and just pray, acknowledge whatever...I don't know.

I had a mid afternoon dream, while laying on couch, that I was interviewing Eddie Murphy?...huh?

And during interview all my recording stuff started to malfunction.

They were patient though, but could tell time was running out...and as usual in a dream, once you like get your act together, you wake up.

I was so frustrated as if somehow if I could interview him in my dream that somehow it would be recorded in real life, kind of like finding gold in your dream and thinking you can drag it back to reality.

Oh well...

Had a dream that some light skinned, shaved head, rap promoter or manager came out (finally) and admitted they were gay.

I wrote 'finally' because in the dream there was a sense that everyone kind of already knew.

But here's the thing, I'm trying to figure out was it a dream, or something I heard on You Tube while half asleep.

They weren't really a rapper, but rather an important figure within the rap industry, lower mid level type important.

But in dream they were in passenger seat, at night, on some busy strip, in convertible, sipping on some drink, and just seen celebrating life, them self, their new found freedom.

But also could sense in dream that after admitting they were gay to the public, their influence among up and coming rappers, would begin to seriously wane after that.

Dream or reality or both, not sure, will scan youtube to see if that was something I heard while falling asleep or did it originate in dream.

Had one of those kind of dreams can't really 'air' or write about, in that this blog forum tries to be rated G or PG.

But will say this, there's a lot of older females out there that 'desire' this or that, is what dream was about.

And I'll end it there...

Sibling dreams

Not sure why I still dream of older Brother, cause in dream, whether light skinned or darker skinned (like last nights dream, and didn't even look like them, but had same personality)

they always have bullying snide personality, and never really like me, and always want me to submit to their 'will', which is to basically admit that I'm eternally flawed.

When siblings appear in my dreams, regardless of age or time frame, it's never really a good interaction.

When parents appear in dreams, same thing, it's never really pleasant, if anything always feels more like the movie 'Pet Cemetery', and I find that sad.

When past friends I knew, appear in dreams, it's always usually a good or pleasant interaction..hmm

Odd how our dreams always seemed to be timed perfectly with alarm clock, like right when something about to be revealed, then alarm clock goes off, as if synced ahead of time, especially when doing the 'snooze' thing, the 3-10 snooze thing.

One could spend a life time writing about the amazement of dreams, their meanings.

When on death bed or death ground, not sure which will flash before eyes, the dreams I had or awake time memories.