Honest chatter from wherever...

God to most, is simply 'self', that which they see in the mirror.

They watch, and laugh, as we fight and destroy each other over nothing...

Every time I go out, to a certain club, I always feel terrible the next day as if I were

'dancing with the dead or damned'...

That's just the feeling I always have the following day, something about the 'air' there.

Do you really want honest chatter and thoughts from 'elsewhere' or 'other worlds?'.

ISIS, Islam...most in those groups don't even believe in 'God' or a 'Deity', rather they're drawn to such movements for 'power' 'position', politics, and other reasons.

But shhh...don't tell no one that.....

We're told much from religion, to make us feel good about our plot in life.

If down trodden and out, if religious, it must be do to persecution from the devil, we're told.

If wildly successful, it must be do to, well here's where it gets tricky.

When I use to go to church a lot, all the speakers were successful people, college graduates, Phd's who all bragged that they were successful cause 'God blessed them'.

So is Donald Trump blessed by the same God that blessed those in church?

In fairness obviously they're saying if you follow all the rules, all of Gods rules, that it will automatically lead you to a path of success and prosperity.

But is that true?

I don't know.

Cause for one no one ever follows all of Gods rules, most people follow their own rules and endorse it with the bible passages they find that compliment their own natures.

I really don't know.

If I had healthy faith I guess I wouldn't question any of it.

But what about those who are damaged not by own bad behavior, but by the dishonesty of those around them.

Like say a car salesman that lies about condition of car, so you spend all of earned money you saved for a whole year on car, and it breaks down 2 days later, now you're broke again, and have no car to drive.

How was that your fault?

Or say you park car and storm winds blows tree over on it...how was that your fault?

Or say someone puts something in your drink, like Bill Cosby did...how was that your fault?

Or say you can't be late to work anymore, taking bus, bus breaks down, show up late and are fired..how is that your fault?

What happens when your life is full of more mishaps than you're able to recover from?

What happens when more water is filling the boat you're own than your able to drain out of it?

And what if all this happens to you, not cause you're living a immoral life, as measured against the bible, but it just happens for no apparent reason.

Is it deliberate?

Then you observe people who are filthy rich, who fornicate, make dishonest business deals and or deal in illegal stuff, trade, yet live in a Mansion and own a yacht.

You always tell the truth on job application, and get turned down, other person lies, and gets hired.

Every business you try to open fails, things break, expenses make you have to close down.

Yet other person who swears all the time, parties, doesn't even believe in any God, their business prospers.

Is everything just random?

Or when you do pray to God, worse things seem to occur.

Is there even 1 god or is there 1000's of beings, personalities, spirits that hoover over the lives of people.

Are humans chess pieces?

Where am I going with this?

No where...sometimes you don't have to.

Sometimes you have to draft before you really find your thoughts.

Saturday nights usually paranormal night

Saturday nights are when I usually let go of weekly politics and just recover mentally, heal, rest.

I usually do that by focusing on things other worldly, things beyond the control of man, the physical.

I really don't know where my faith stands anymore.

I'm not a bad person, by any standard, religious or civil, I mean I pretty much live the life of a saint.

I don't attend church anymore, not moved to.

I don't pray like I use to, just out of habit, just not moved to anymore.

Just doesn't seem like prayer effects anything, and get tired of hearing others make up lame excuses to why 'this' or 'that' prayer didn't come true.

Seems some of the richest, wealthiest people on the planet don't pray, got their or built their wealth while total unbeliever or believers.

Then I see many Christian or other, praying, and living in abject poverty, then told someone being poor and desolate is a sign of humility.

To me it's just hardship.

I'm not hostile towards God, I just feel irrelevant to the over all scheme of things, billions have lived, walked this Earth, I mean who am I to God?...nothing.

I feel if I were going to have impact I already would have, now just fading out like billions before me, to never be remembered when gone.

Life is only useful to you when you're conscious and apart of it.

Once you're no longer apart of it, aware of it, there's no meaning to it at all.

For years, most of my life, have comforted myself by believing there was an after life, that this life were just a pre cursor to the next, now I don't know.

And to me if Jesus were going to come back, you'd think he would of by now.

I mean why allow billions more to spill upon this Earth if there's no eternal plan for them?

Seems to me there'd be easier way of doing things, if God, than allowing so many people not apart of his plan to fester and populate.

And reincarnation is useless to me also.



I mean what's the point of coming back if you can't remember what you did before or that you ever existed before?
Losing your memory means you loose self, and is like being dead.

I mean if I can't remember that I lived 400 years ago, or what I did, than what's the point?
If I can take lessons from the past, 400 years ago, and apply them to now, than what's the point?

Again, I'm not hostile to God, and would actually prefer there be a God ready to greet or resurrect you on the other side, I actually want that, but as I age tend to grow less hopeful of that scenario.

I mean is God so nimble you have to die first, in order to be in his presence?

Does that make sense?

A God who created the Universe, so nimble, that you first must die in order to be with this super being?

Oh well, my thinking about it isn't going to change anything, what is is.