I need to say something...and this post may be gone by tomorrow...I don't know.
But some people are special...and their specialness has nothing to do with color, gender, age, race, creed ect ect.
They're special 'just because'.
Cause 'they get it'...and don't take Earth or the matters on Earth all to serious, at least not serous enough to begin hating others, and they never loose their 'humanity' because they always maintain proper perspective on things.
These people or 'souls' have existed through out all ages, all societies, have always been amongst us.
You yourself could be one.
They have no 'intent' other than to live and let live.
They have no 'aim', other than to Love, best they know how in environment they're bred or reared in.
A tribe of sorts...scattered through out the world.
And one day, some one or 'thing' will unite them all, bring clarity to their purpose.
They are not 'perfect' rather always honest in whatever knowledge is put before them.
And I'll leave it at that.
Hopefully post will last...just depends.
Last Edit: Mar 25, 2016 16:04:27 GMT -5 by X factor
We're told much from religion, to make us feel good about our plot in life.
If down trodden and out, if religious, it must be do to persecution from the devil, we're told.
If wildly successful, it must be do to, well here's where it gets tricky.
When I use to go to church a lot, all the speakers were successful people, college graduates, Phd's who all bragged that they were successful cause 'God blessed them'.
So is Donald Trump blessed by the same God that blessed those in church?
In fairness obviously they're saying if you follow all the rules, all of Gods rules, that it will automatically lead you to a path of success and prosperity.
But is that true?
I don't know.
Cause for one no one ever follows all of Gods rules, most people follow their own rules and endorse it with the bible passages they find that compliment their own natures.
I really don't know.
If I had healthy faith I guess I wouldn't question any of it.
But what about those who are damaged not by own bad behavior, but by the dishonesty of those around them.
Like say a car salesman that lies about condition of car, so you spend all of earned money you saved for a whole year on car, and it breaks down 2 days later, now you're broke again, and have no car to drive.
How was that your fault?
Or say you park car and storm winds blows tree over on it...how was that your fault?
Or say someone puts something in your drink, like Bill Cosby did...how was that your fault?
Or say you can't be late to work anymore, taking bus, bus breaks down, show up late and are fired..how is that your fault?
What happens when your life is full of more mishaps than you're able to recover from?
What happens when more water is filling the boat you're own than your able to drain out of it?
And what if all this happens to you, not cause you're living a immoral life, as measured against the bible, but it just happens for no apparent reason.
Is it deliberate?
Then you observe people who are filthy rich, who fornicate, make dishonest business deals and or deal in illegal stuff, trade, yet live in a Mansion and own a yacht.
You always tell the truth on job application, and get turned down, other person lies, and gets hired.
Every business you try to open fails, things break, expenses make you have to close down.
Yet other person who swears all the time, parties, doesn't even believe in any God, their business prospers.
Is everything just random?
Or when you do pray to God, worse things seem to occur.
Is there even 1 god or is there 1000's of beings, personalities, spirits that hoover over the lives of people.
Are humans chess pieces?
Where am I going with this?
No where...sometimes you don't have to.
Sometimes you have to draft before you really find your thoughts.
Saturday nights are when I usually let go of weekly politics and just recover mentally, heal, rest.
I usually do that by focusing on things other worldly, things beyond the control of man, the physical.
I really don't know where my faith stands anymore.
I'm not a bad person, by any standard, religious or civil, I mean I pretty much live the life of a saint.
I don't attend church anymore, not moved to.
I don't pray like I use to, just out of habit, just not moved to anymore.
Just doesn't seem like prayer effects anything, and get tired of hearing others make up lame excuses to why 'this' or 'that' prayer didn't come true.
Seems some of the richest, wealthiest people on the planet don't pray, got their or built their wealth while total unbeliever or believers.
Then I see many Christian or other, praying, and living in abject poverty, then told someone being poor and desolate is a sign of humility.
To me it's just hardship.
I'm not hostile towards God, I just feel irrelevant to the over all scheme of things, billions have lived, walked this Earth, I mean who am I to God?...nothing.
I feel if I were going to have impact I already would have, now just fading out like billions before me, to never be remembered when gone.
Life is only useful to you when you're conscious and apart of it.
Once you're no longer apart of it, aware of it, there's no meaning to it at all.
For years, most of my life, have comforted myself by believing there was an after life, that this life were just a pre cursor to the next, now I don't know.
And to me if Jesus were going to come back, you'd think he would of by now.
I mean why allow billions more to spill upon this Earth if there's no eternal plan for them?
Seems to me there'd be easier way of doing things, if God, than allowing so many people not apart of his plan to fester and populate.
And reincarnation is useless to me also.
I mean what's the point of coming back if you can't remember what you did before or that you ever existed before? Losing your memory means you loose self, and is like being dead.
I mean if I can't remember that I lived 400 years ago, or what I did, than what's the point? If I can take lessons from the past, 400 years ago, and apply them to now, than what's the point?
Again, I'm not hostile to God, and would actually prefer there be a God ready to greet or resurrect you on the other side, I actually want that, but as I age tend to grow less hopeful of that scenario.
I mean is God so nimble you have to die first, in order to be in his presence?
Does that make sense?
A God who created the Universe, so nimble, that you first must die in order to be with this super being?
Oh well, my thinking about it isn't going to change anything, what is is.
You spend your whole life being good as a 'Christian', told that it's honorable to take abuse from all sides, and forms.
As a Christian you're told it's honorable to take physical abuse, mental abuse, psychological abuse, fiscal abuse and more.
You're just told to take it, that being abused, taken advantage of is 'goooooood', and to pray for those rotten souls who hurt you.
You follow this formula for years, while those who hurt you continue to get ahead in life and you sink, cause of being so nice....
How much are good people suppose to take?
Are good people to let themselves be genocide by the rotten?
You're told as a Christian that 'God' or 'Jesus' will fight your battles for you, yet time and time again rotten evil people move in next to you, are employed next to you, honk their horns at you, rob you, deceive you, and nothing...absolutely nothing.
They get ahead and thrive, and you go to church, give tithes, and continue to get crushed by the wicked.
Then told to stay away from 'The dark arts'...
Well I'm tired, and I don't know anymore.
Stop messing with me...I'm tired of being abused by evil people.
Last Edit: Mar 25, 2016 15:37:21 GMT -5 by X factor
I have no headline, just not sure how to feel about anything right now, so I came here to sorta write freely about nothing.
I don't feel happy or sad, just 'is'.
Maybe powerless to change anything is a better way to put it.
I feel to continue chasing what I want is a fools hearty journey.
I feel like now what I want has to find me, in my place, in my spot.
There are forces guiding our destiny, invisible forces, it's why certain patterns repeat themselves in each individuals life, patterns that you can't help but take note of, but if explained to another would be dismissed.
Seems some are born to be taunted, others are born to be complimented, some are born to fail, others to succeed.
I haven't given up, I'm just (at least at this moment) given to fact that whatever I want or think I want has to find me, come my way.
I just know I'm content now laying on my back, in the dark, with fan on as if adrift.