I think the only way I'd be OK with suicide is only if and when I felt 'I' had had enough, that 'I' was ready to move on, and that 'I' felt there was nothing more joyous for me down here above or below on Earth.
I'd have to be comfortable with it, and not influenced by any outside source.
It would have to be a totally internal peaceful decision.
Where fighting and struggling just to fight and struggle, no longer was appealing, or just seemed pointless.
I'd have to be in a 'spot' where I felt no love, and had no one to love, existing kind of like a 'rock', just there.
My main fear about suicide is that I feel if ever tried to do so, would 'botch' the attempt, say using a hand ____.
I feel if ever tried to do that, the same torturous spirits that torment life while alive, would 'botch' the attempt, and instead of instantly perishing, would instead survive, only now would be disfigured or handicapped for life, and thus things would be worse.
I feel spirits that torment some, in various ways, need their victims to stay alive, otherwise they can't torment anymore.
I've read stories, seen pictures, of those who attempted suicide using violent methods, just to live, and it's graphic, and would never share on here, but can do own research, and that's my fear.
And pills?, heck no, way to slow, by the time the pills took effect, you could change mind, find out you just won the lottery, or other good news.
Jumping off a bridge, again heck no, cause even as falling could have feelings of regret, and I never want that if made such a choice.
If I ever committed suicide, I'd never want any delay between method and demise, cause to me, anytime to think about it during the process would give 'evil' one last jab at you, in that notice how things 'slow down', when faced danger or in a accident?
How 5 seconds can seem like 10 minutes?
Well to me, same would apply while committing suicide, in that from observer may seem instant, but to 'self', that instant could feel like an hour, a whole hour of no return where 'evil' could torment you while fading, call you horrible names, make you see horrible visions and more, taking their one last hits at you as you fade.
Hanging self, never, seems to painful, choking and feeling your neck bones crunch, and again alive for to long, thus have time for regret.
Suicide bombers, when they go, that type of demise seems pretty instant, in that body organs scattered to smithereens, no repair possible, it's just done, and no time for regret.
No time to feel good or bad about own demise, you just vanish with last thoughts on mind.
I think the best way to go, although not suicide, would be when a person passes away while in a coma, no physical trauma, (as far as we know, no telling what the mind is doing, dreams, good or bad)
Or to die in surgery while highly medicated.
I think the most violent type of deaths are when people die young and health, like in accident, or drowning, when healthy enough to 'fight' but not enough fight to win.
This may sound odd, but I think when you're truly alone, you're less likely to commit suicide, cause when truly alone, I mean like have no one, no friends (outside of job), no family, nothing, nada, I think it dawns on you that if killed self, absolutely no one would care.
I notice people who commit suicide, more times than not, always seem to be in stressed relationships, but I notice those who are truly alone, whether homeless or otherwise, don't commit suicide at the same rate cause of the above reason.
I just wish the Earth would stop spinning so no more tomorrows would arrive.
I did recent show on 'Suicide', and so many celebrities who 'off' themselves in prime of career or life (or so one would think), yet they're miserable on the inside...why?, cause of 'tomorrow, that's why.
If time could just stand still, give people a chance to breathe, to catch up, you'd have probably no suicides and far less depression.
The one thing that prevents me from committing suicide is that I realize if did, no one would 'cry' for me, no one
The one thing that prevents me from committing suicide is that I realize no one would cry for me, I mean like no one...and in the end, I'd be right, they'd realize I was right, but then I'd be gone, and them still here.
What would be the point of that?
You cannot appease evil, ever, not in life or death, evil just doesn't care, evil justifies itself and behavior no matter how sour.
And the people who hold you near, are the ones who hold you back, or the ones that propel you. If you've had same people near to you for years, and not going anywhere, than they're the ones harming you. But to coward to reveal themselves cause know you'd ____ their ____ ____ just for the deception of it all...in an instant, and just be done with all of it.
The only way to really escape these types is to fake your own death or create whole new identity...then watch as you prosper, as people with 1/10 your effort do, in that they don't have jealous hounds of hell sabotaging your every effort.
I've always told self that when the day comes I can't get out of bed on my own, than would, or will, simply ------
Especially if and when a lone...I mean if have family around, a spouse, even a roommate or group home, fine, but if all a lone, never had anyone to help you even when healthy, there's nothing more frightening than losing your health independence, and being at the medical mercy of people who never bothered to get to know you even when healthy.
Or to have distant or a distant relative who never liked you, show up, to discuss your business.
What a nightmare.
I say what I'll do when that time comes, but wonder if I'd have the guts?
Or what if it occurs while in a auto accident instead, like where don't have time to go to drawer or reach under +++++ and whatever.
I mean either way, when it comes to our physical health, there is no 'Lived happily ever after' ending.
There just isn't.
And when dead, really won't matter whether lived 1 year or 100, cause when over won't be no functioning brain to remember anything.
Another fear of the 's' word is that one in 100 chance that you botch your own attempt...then what? Now things would be 10 as worse.