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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2015 18:24:47 GMT -5
Greed is cruel
In all honesty, if I ever got to sick to function, I could see myself offing self, I mean why not.
Life is rough enough as it is while some what healthy, why would life get any better if plagued with medical issues?
Life is not some magical TV episode where lessons are learned, people 'see', and everyone hugs at end of show.
And it sucks that medicine has become a racket, Jesus healed for free, man does not.
If no one loves me, sees value in me, while healthy, than who in the hell would ever see value in me while sick?
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Post by X factor on Dec 24, 2015 23:33:07 GMT -5
I think the only way I'd be OK with suicide is only if and when I felt 'I' had had enough, that 'I' was ready to move on, and that 'I' felt there was nothing more joyous for me down here above or below on Earth.
I'd have to be comfortable with it, and not influenced by any outside source.
It would have to be a totally internal peaceful decision.
Where fighting and struggling just to fight and struggle, no longer was appealing, or just seemed pointless.
I'd have to be in a 'spot' where I felt no love, and had no one to love, existing kind of like a 'rock', just there.
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Post by X factor on Dec 25, 2015 1:12:55 GMT -5
When you no longer have anyone to save, and when there's no one to save you, than leaving may not be so bad.
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Post by X factor on Aug 6, 2016 20:25:12 GMT -5
Unless facing imminent death from disease, or enemy torture, to me suicide is not the way to go, cause when once gone, no one will care, you'll be forgotten. Enjoy all of your brief moment of consciousness while can, every minute of it.  . |
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Post by X factor on Sept 30, 2017 17:00:24 GMT -5
Main fear about suicide is
My main fear about suicide is that I feel if ever tried to do so, would 'botch' the attempt, say using a hand ____.
I feel if ever tried to do that, the same torturous spirits that torment life while alive, would 'botch' the attempt, and instead of instantly perishing, would instead survive, only now would be disfigured or handicapped for life, and thus things would be worse.
I feel spirits that torment some, in various ways, need their victims to stay alive, otherwise they can't torment anymore.
I've read stories, seen pictures, of those who attempted suicide using violent methods, just to live, and it's graphic, and would never share on here, but can do own research, and that's my fear.
And pills?, heck no, way to slow, by the time the pills took effect, you could change mind, find out you just won the lottery, or other good news.
Jumping off a bridge, again heck no, cause even as falling could have feelings of regret, and I never want that if made such a choice.
If I ever committed suicide, I'd never want any delay between method and demise, cause to me, anytime to think about it during the process would give 'evil' one last jab at you, in that notice how things 'slow down', when faced danger or in a accident?
How 5 seconds can seem like 10 minutes?
Well to me, same would apply while committing suicide, in that from observer may seem instant, but to 'self', that instant could feel like an hour, a whole hour of no return where 'evil' could torment you while fading, call you horrible names, make you see horrible visions and more, taking their one last hits at you as you fade.
Hanging self, never, seems to painful, choking and feeling your neck bones crunch, and again alive for to long, thus have time for regret.
Suicide bombers, when they go, that type of demise seems pretty instant, in that body organs scattered to smithereens, no repair possible, it's just done, and no time for regret.
No time to feel good or bad about own demise, you just vanish with last thoughts on mind.
I think the best way to go, although not suicide, would be when a person passes away while in a coma, no physical trauma, (as far as we know, no telling what the mind is doing, dreams, good or bad)
Or to die in surgery while highly medicated.
I think the most violent type of deaths are when people die young and health, like in accident, or drowning, when healthy enough to 'fight' but not enough fight to win.
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Post by X factor on Dec 15, 2018 21:22:15 GMT -5
This may sound odd, but I think when you're truly alone, you're less likely to commit suicide, cause when truly alone, I mean like have no one, no friends (outside of job), no family, nothing, nada, I think it dawns on you that if killed self, absolutely no one would care.
I notice people who commit suicide, more times than not, always seem to be in stressed relationships, but I notice those who are truly alone, whether homeless or otherwise, don't commit suicide at the same rate cause of the above reason.
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Post by X factor on Jan 13, 2019 21:30:09 GMT -5
When voices in your head start telling you that suicide is a form of healing, that's when you need to start getting worried.
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Post by X factor on Aug 18, 2019 19:33:04 GMT -5
I just wish the Earth would stop spinning so no more tomorrows would arrive.
I did recent show on 'Suicide', and so many celebrities who 'off' themselves in prime of career or life (or so one would think), yet they're miserable on the inside...why?, cause of 'tomorrow, that's why.
If time could just stand still, give people a chance to breathe, to catch up, you'd have probably no suicides and far less depression.
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2019 16:22:16 GMT -5
The one thing that prevents me from committing suicide is that I realize if did, no one would 'cry' for me, no one
The one thing that prevents me from committing suicide is that I realize no one would cry for me, I mean like no one...and in the end, I'd be right, they'd realize I was right, but then I'd be gone, and them still here.
What would be the point of that?
You cannot appease evil, ever, not in life or death, evil just doesn't care, evil justifies itself and behavior no matter how sour.
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2019 16:25:55 GMT -5
And the people who hold you near, are the ones who hold you back, or the ones that propel you.
If you've had same people near to you for years, and not going anywhere, than they're the ones harming you.
But to coward to reveal themselves cause know you'd ____ their ____ ____ just for the deception of it all...in an instant, and just be done with all of it.
Go into eternity satisfied...
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2019 16:28:26 GMT -5
The only way to really escape these types is to fake your own death or create whole new identity...then watch as you prosper, as people with 1/10 your effort do, in that they don't have jealous hounds of hell sabotaging your every effort.
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Post by X factor on Nov 16, 2019 1:09:17 GMT -5
I'm to rational to commit suicide in that I know no one would care, so what's the point?
Also, since so many do it every year, and aren't stopped by God or an Angel, like in the movies, than again, what does it matter?
In that most people get emotional when they think or sense someone will react or help, but if no one there to react or help, again, what's the point?
There's like what, 30,000 suicides a year in U.S., and god didn't step in and prevent a single one of them, just sat there eating popcorn I guess, with butter on it.
So again, if no one cares, what's the point?
If there's no one to react, what's the point?
And if god doesn't prevent when one does decide, what's the point?
So may as well go on living until can't.
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Post by X factor on Mar 22, 2020 18:03:01 GMT -5
Realizing you're unloved, ignored or not liked, actually makes you less likely to commit suicide
Realizing your unloved, truly alone, not liked, actually makes you less likely to commit suicide.
Usually people who commit suicide have people who care about them and whom they know will react to their death.
But when truly alone, unloved, ect, you begin to realize not a soul on the planet will give a squat or react if you take your own life.
(Don't be suprised if here that on another show or journal, as over the years people, professionals, tend to read my stuff for suggestive ideas and truths)
In my world there's no such thing as 'professionals', to me either you know, have lived or have to read about it.
But ye, 'loved' people just tend to commit suicide more often...very strange...but not if you think about it.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2020 19:56:38 GMT -5
I've always told self that when the day comes I can't get out of bed on my own, than would, or will, simply ------
Especially if and when a lone...I mean if have family around, a spouse, even a roommate or group home, fine, but if all a lone, never had anyone to help you even when healthy, there's nothing more frightening than losing your health independence, and being at the medical mercy of people who never bothered to get to know you even when healthy.
Or to have distant or a distant relative who never liked you, show up, to discuss your business.
What a nightmare.
I say what I'll do when that time comes, but wonder if I'd have the guts?
Or what if it occurs while in a auto accident instead, like where don't have time to go to drawer or reach under +++++ and whatever.
I mean either way, when it comes to our physical health, there is no 'Lived happily ever after' ending.
There just isn't.
And when dead, really won't matter whether lived 1 year or 100, cause when over won't be no functioning brain to remember anything.
Another fear of the 's' word is that one in 100 chance that you botch your own attempt...then what?
Now things would be 10 as worse.
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Post by X factor on Apr 17, 2020 7:57:45 GMT -5
When all this is done and over with, I wonder what the suicide rate during this Corona period will have looked like?
Did it go up or down?
Stats will tell us in a few months, I'm sure.
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