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Post by X factor on Sept 29, 2020 19:31:20 GMT -5
Tomorrow like hell to me.
So much I didn't get done.
When at work, reduced to a 'mule'...how is that living?..
God exists inside of no one...well maybe a very small few.
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Post by X factor on Jun 24, 2021 4:57:51 GMT -5
Life stops being fun when reality catches you
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Post by X factor on Dec 22, 2021 7:13:55 GMT -5
Today I feel caged, caught, and captured by reality
Yes, today I feel caged and caught and captured by the ugly reality of today.
And it's not a good feeling, I sure hope my mood changes.
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Post by X factor on Jun 3, 2022 3:43:14 GMT -5
I do feel caught and caged by reality, but not sure which reality I'm caught and caged by I do feel caught and caged by reality, but not sure which reality, or who's reality, but I know it's not my own reality...cause my own reality would be good.
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Post by X factor on Jan 11, 2023 6:07:52 GMT -5
I'm caged, caught, and captured by something, that's for sure.
Is it indeed reality that has caught me?
But reality can be good also.
Everyone has a different reality.
Reality isn't good or bad, it just 'is'.
And some people like their reality, other people dread their reality, I suppose.
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Post by X factor on Jan 11, 2023 6:09:21 GMT -5
I think maybe I'm tired of thinking I can ever matter to others.
I think my new reality is that I don't, and never have, mattered to others.
But if I embrace that reality, how will it, or would it change me?
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Post by X factor on Apr 19, 2023 7:32:30 GMT -5
Not sure which is worst at times, the devil or reality  One thing for sure, my reality today requires I get up and out and go work, work for peanuts basically. I'm burned out of repetitive work where you never prosper. But unless have someone to take care of you, you can never ever stop, the minute you stop you're out of the streets. I envy those who have homes that are paid off, or lots of land, or large families they can go stay with when things get difficult. But when alone, forget about it, there is no one to ever catch you other than the streets.
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Post by X factor on May 13, 2023 6:18:24 GMT -5
Caged, caught and locked by my own ugly reality  Caged, caught and locked by my own reality, that's or sure.
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Post by X factor on Aug 14, 2023 23:34:09 GMT -5
The reality cage seems to be getting larger I don't even have the mental or mind energy to get up off of the bed and go to the kitchen for a Bayer Aspirin. Not that I need one, but will make me sleep better, I guess. But right now, my mind energy is so low, that it's hard for me to muster the will, just to get up and walk to the kitchen. But I will.
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Post by X factor on Sept 18, 2023 14:42:40 GMT -5
I think I stall and procrastinate so much, cause I'm always afraid to deal with the ugliness of reality I waste so much time, avoid doing tasks, avoid looking at checking account, avoid this and that, cause I think reality just scares me, or at least mine does. If your life is prosperous, than you probably love your reality, but if your life is filled with pitfalls, and pot holes, and grey areas, and monsters, and goblins, then if like me, you tend to avoid reality by getting distracted on other meaningless stuff. How to get over my fear of reality? Well, when I'm drunk, reality doesn't scare me so bad, or not at all, but when sober, ugg, then reality really smells at time. I guess I need to learn how to just cope with the ugliness of reality instead of always trying to dodge it, but that's easier said than done.
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Post by X factor on Oct 21, 2023 7:17:26 GMT -5
Reality is good to some, yet terrible to others
To some, reality is their best friend, yet to others, reality is a horned ugly bully.
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Post by X factor on Oct 30, 2023 2:53:19 GMT -5
I'm pretty much out of food and time I'm pretty much out of food, time and luck. Life, for most of us, just sucks. We have moments, maybe even seasons of blissfulness that are surrounded by bad weather, doom and gloom. For a while there, we think we're all special, unique, but then life circumstances tells us otherwise. Just depends on fate, I suppose. If fate is on your side, than you cannot lose, but if fate is against you, forget about it. Anyways, time is catching me. I hate time, I hate the future, I hate tomorrow, I hate next week. I wish I had something, someone, stronger than myself to lean on.
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Post by X factor on Nov 4, 2023 8:54:01 GMT -5
I realize now what a 'nothing burger' I am to God and the UniverseI've never felt so small and irrelevant in my life as I do now, or these last few months. I'm nothing, a spore adrift in the wind. 
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Post by X factor on Jan 2, 2024 13:07:36 GMT -5
I feel like both hell, and reality, are really beginning to close in on my, and not sure what to do or how to escape it.
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Post by X factor on Feb 19, 2024 8:50:10 GMT -5
Well, I'm up now, let's see what hell has awaiting me today Well, I'm up now, let us see what exactly hell has awaiting me today.
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