I just feel caged by ugly circumstances right now, from the people living in close proximity, to not being where I want career wise, to always having to go back and work at place less than enthused about do to if not, running out of money and not being able to pay bills.
Wish I were superman or that guy on 'The Matrix' where they just fly straight up into the sky and leave it all beneath them.
But I can't. Instead have to trudge on, whether I like it or not, caged by circumstances, wings clipped, can no longer fly, at least in my own mind.
It's all about your own individual expectations of self.
Some one with no dreams, no past ambitions, or higher standards for self, would might be perfectly happy in my cage.
You know, the typical types you see in cities, walking up and down side walks, to and from convience stores, littering, dropping their trash, as they eat their junk food.
Types who mooch off of others, cheat the Government by claiming false stuff to get free money, life long moochers.
Maybe someone like that would be happy to be in my cage, but their standards are so low that they couldn't even maintain the cage for long.
It takes effort and a sense of responsibility even to maintain self within a cage, and that's what's so depressing at times.
Cause while in the cage, it seems there's no hope of ever getting out, just seems the walls keep getting smaller, more people who don't like moving in closer.
I'm begging to think I fit in with no one accept the super wealthy rich and the eccentric.
I can't get excited about what's coming up today no matter what, I'm loosing energy, enthusiasm, not gaining it.
But here in a few I'll have to deal with it no matter what.
Already feel caged, caught and captured by tomorrow
I already feel caged, captured and caught by tomorrow.
Tomorrow has nothing to offer me really.
I will wake up, expand energy, work, and come home as broke as when I left.
A wild and free goose, will probably get more out of tomorrow than I will...
At least the goose is free, doesn't have to pay rent, or any other bills, can soar up in the clouds, or swim in a lake, no particular schedule to keep, and always has companionship, either other geese or a mate.
That geese really has it going on compared to myself.
And best of all geese never worry about whether they're going to heaven or hell.
They just live until they die, and don't worry about death until it arrives.
Just not sure what tomorrows going to give me.
Kind of like what did a slave have to look forward to from dusk to dawn?
I mean the night before being forced to go out into field, or work on Pyramids, or ect, what did a slave have to look forward to from up coming day?
Unless one has own family, or in relationship, in Love, just not much to look forward to.
Everyone just takes on same generic posture and look, male or female, doesn't matter.
When living in a world where out of billions, not a single soul thinks you're special, nothing really matters after a while and all people start taking on same generic manikin tone.
When you begin to realize your dreams and ambitions mean zero to the world.
When you begin to realize your only value to this world is your ability to earn, and then spend what you earn on services, rent, vehicle, food, merchandise (the economy)
The only thing that really shields people from reality is 'wealth'.
But the more broke you are or are becoming, the more ugly reality begins slapping you in the face.
Dreams be d-mned, and everything else that feeds your moral and spirit, in the end none of that matters, in the end all that matters is if you can pay rent or not.
Which then forces you, or one, to give up on dreams in exchange for working stupid, very non interesting, no future type of a job where dreams go to die.
But at least rents paid, right?
Just be a good little peon consumer and step in line and obey the power structure, live to pay rent, to support the economy, to slave for your employer, live for them, spend you health for them, but not for self....hmm