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Post by X factor on Feb 19, 2022 20:05:23 GMT -5
Identifying a 'rat' fraudulent skunk, I mean friend from the past. 1. Vanish 2. The first person you 'cut off' from the past who rears rat head...bingo. Questions like 'Are you OK?, 'So how have you been?' type sh_t. Questions an examiner would ask you, questions someone 'watching you' would ask you. These 'devils', can't stand you being out of their site for long. They're not, repeat not cops, for Cops actually follow a order of logic, the types I speak of do not. They're just ugly jaded individuals on the inside. Useful tools for ____ And when 'force' behind useful tool discovered and found...well..
Why have I mellowed out so much since that post?
Cause back then I felt others or another, was keeping me from the person I thought I loved the most, but then realized it takes two to keep a rumor or disparaging ideas about another alive. In other words, I now realize that I only have energy to fight for those who believe in me, not those I have to convince that I'm 'OK' to.
I realize now if have to constantly convince another that you're 'OK', than it's not you who has the issue, and I've learned to run from such types now or they will drive you mad and or you'll end up doing something stupid, getting yourself in trouble trying to fight for the honor or protect another who could give a half twit about you.
How many men or people are in jail, prison, have messed up their life fighting over or defending someone, just for that someone to walk away once they're life is ruined.
A guy will beat up another guy to prove his worth to a woman, then go to prison, just for woman to end up dating the guy he beat up to begin with.
That's just one example, so my take now is don't defend anyone who wouldn't do the same for you, don't allow self to be emotionally played and used, be they family or friends or lover. |
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Post by X factor on Mar 6, 2022 16:15:25 GMT -5
It sucks when in the mood to do something fun, but just have no one to hang out with, that usually happens when you get older.
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Post by X factor on Mar 20, 2022 15:59:52 GMT -5
Today is one of those days I kind of wish I had friends..
It's one of those days I wish someone would call and invite me to dinner at their house or to go play miniture golf, or to go boating, or flying, or anything.
Or wish I could call and invite someone to help me clear out some junk, or watch a movie, or create a podcast together.
But sadly that's not my world right now.
Oh well.
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Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2022 22:41:03 GMT -5
Who will call you back, is sometimes the test.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2022 18:14:23 GMT -5
How many billions on this Earth?
And I have zero friends, not a soul, no one.
And if fortune ever changes, I can never forget that.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2022 18:16:34 GMT -5
Not having any friend to confide in, or even family, can be phycologically tough at times.
When feel joy, no one to express that joy to, when feel sad, no one to confide in.
It's like being dead basically.
And if future fortune changes, I can never allow those back into my life who abandoned me and made me feel dead, while still alive.
I cannot forgive them of that sin, maybe god can, but I cannot.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2022 18:17:23 GMT -5
You don't matter until you do.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2022 18:20:28 GMT -5
The level of hatred it takes to ignore someone who's still of value, is beyond me.
There is no god inside of people.
This idea that god resides inside of people, another, is one of the biggest farcest of all time.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2022 18:21:15 GMT -5
And soon, I will come for men who tell that lie.
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Post by X factor on Mar 28, 2022 18:25:34 GMT -5
I owe no one nothing, the darkness I have swam through, swim through, while alone. When I 'arrive' tomorrow, it's simply cause I willed it, no one else did, I did. I don't serve 'your god'...I serve a demon, who will soon want revenge.  |
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Post by X factor on Mar 29, 2022 6:54:56 GMT -5
I don't have any friends, but still, not a single person I told I was going to get a new car to yesterday, tried to talk me out of it.
So this morning, now that sober, I had to talk self out of it.
I new car is a lust, it's not a must.
And payments continue on for years, car payments don't just stop when not in the mood to pay them.
And I just cannot imagine how my life would improve writing out checks, or auto deductions for 450 dollars a month.
Then add full new car insurance atop that, no way, I'd get depressed soon, and like so many former owners of new cars, would probably end up defaulting on the payment after a while.
I don't have anything to prove to anyone.
Yesterday I proved I could convince salesperson to put me in a new car, but I was drunk when talking to them on the phone.
Now I'm sober, it's morning, and now I realize that was a dumb thing for me to do.
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Post by X factor on Mar 30, 2022 21:01:03 GMT -5
Best thing to do, to save self from lingering on people from the past that no longer value you, and or worse, is to delete their contact info on your phone.
Erase them like they've erased you.
That way won't dwell on them if don't even see their names anymore, or be tempted to text or call them if and when get drunk.
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Post by X factor on Apr 10, 2022 15:08:44 GMT -5
It's weird, the same people of your life, from years ago, come back into it, and nothing changes.
But here's my thing going forward, if you're not interested in me, than I'm not interested in you.
I've wasted so much energy in the past, so many years, trying to be interested in those who were not interested in me.
Not anymore, as my health improves, and theirs gets worse.
I'm just done with dead end people.
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Post by X factor on Apr 10, 2022 15:24:11 GMT -5
and I'm tired of people only coming to me when spent, and have nothing else.
They gave their best to others, then expect me to except the as a prize when they have no where else to go.
I'm not a mental homeless shelter for the discarded.
Give me your best, notice me when I'm at my best, or don't come at all.
But that only applies to people of my past, not new folks I meet.
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Post by X factor on Apr 11, 2022 19:29:52 GMT -5
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