Friend-O-Meter, true friend vs fraudulent one

About to change my phone number and walk away from my past again.

Walking away from my past is basically walking away from those who never ever cared about me, and still do not.

And just changing my number helps me deal with that fact.

Give me closer, cause then I know they cannot call me even if they wanted to, which is better than knowing they can call but don't.

No one can call me now, as such I feel free, or more free, cause that means I'm in control.

It's more like a power move, I guess.

No one helps me, is ever there for me, so I don't need no one.

Let those who rejected me vomit on their own stupidity...I guess.



Let them vomit on their own stupidity, I guess.

Tonight I die, and will be reborn tomorrow, as a new person, with no connection to the past.



Dedicated to Johny Cash, and dedicated to all you silly college students in Gainesville, FL.

And of course to Tom Petty, the original Gainsville brat.

Remember last week I changed my phone number and tossed out an older paper address book.

Well, someone responded to that, and wondered why I did that.

I did it cause tired of having fraction time friends, if you even want to call them that.

Tired of being peoples last option, instead of their first option, or main option.

Tired of being shelved when not needed, as if I just don't exist when they're not thinking about me.

I just don't need that anymore, I need people who want to be in my life on a regular basis.

I don't need people in my life whom I always have to call, usually when drunk, out of loneliness, and then make a fool out of myself.

The way I see it, either you're there for me or you're not, like the type of friends I had so many years ago in middle school, and kind of through high school, friends who called me, who liked me, who actually wanted to hang out, who thought I was a neat fun person to be around.

Those are the kind of people I want in my life now, and if can't get them, than would just rather be alone, that way I don't get dissappointed, or wait for calls that never come in, or when feeling lonely, call them just to get voice male.

Tired of the humilation.

So I basically booted my past out of my life...this way it's easier for me emotionally, cause there's nothing for me to expect from anyone anymore...at least not from my past.

Like right now, who's there for me?
No one, not a single soul.

Who's doing for me?
No one, not a single soul, I'm isolated and alone, but at least that's better than having people's numbers, they having mine, and me wondering why no one is calling or cares.

This way, now even if they want to, they can't, and even if I wanted to, I can't, cause deleted all their numbers, so called family, so called acquaintances and more.

So now we all are truly dead to one another, I've been dead to them for years, and now they're dead to me.

Who'd of ever guessed that the first person in years, to show interest in me, as an interesting person to just talk to, would be a new 737 pilot



Who'd of thought.

How did we meet?

At my current job, which is like part time hours, but full time pay.

People don't realize this, but like Police officers, Pilots, especially when more Jr and still working they're way up, also often take part time jobs to suppliment their income...it's quite normal actually.

That aside, we hit it off almost immediately, we have similuar personalities, and I to, have always dreamed of being a commercial pilot, well they are, and did, what I use to dream of doing and becoming.

All I know is that they're the first person in years and years to ever say they'd call me sometime..wow.

Of course this will be continued, but right now just got in, so a bit wore out.

The craziest person on Earth...

here, hidden in this forum blog...