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Post by X factor on Mar 3, 2024 23:33:53 GMT -5
I'm really lagging today, I mean not even the 'to do list' can motivate me to do anything. 
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Post by X factor on Mar 19, 2024 21:55:27 GMT -5
When in the current mood I'm in, a very quiet still mood, the best thing for me to do is create a 'to do list', in order to just create movement.
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Post by X factor on Mar 23, 2024 23:23:13 GMT -5
On my 'to do list', it came up that I should find some new social media site other than twitter/FB/YT ect...hmm
Actually, I'm kind of burned out on social media, it's been a useless medium to me, and has changed a lot over the years.
It's not really social media anymore, rather it's
1. Sign up to site
2. Have site cookies on your computer to track you to sell ads to 3rd parties
3. Have your views and comments muted by some algorithm
4. People leave comments, but no longer actually exchange thoughts and ideas.
5. You end up wasting a lot of time on people you'll never meet, will never help you, call you, or anything.
So what's the point of it anymore?
Sure, I guess social media fills time when home alone and bored and drunk, but aside from that, what purpose does social media really serve anymore?
To me, as of now, really none.
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Post by X factor on Jun 14, 2024 15:28:32 GMT -5
I think I really need to get back to my 'to do list'
I notice my ability to get things done has really diminished since not creating daily 'to do lists'.
I think many of us are just naturally lazy, or choose to focus on the simpler things of life, and without 'to do list', at least for me, I'm realizing there's a lot of little, yet very important things I don't do.
Stuff related to bills, payments, or creating appointments for self, renewals etc and whatever.
To do lists help keep me focused and reminds me to do the little things that may not seem important or fun at the time, but if not done, could make you suffer later.
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Post by X factor on Jun 15, 2024 11:25:14 GMT -5
Anyways, time to compose a to do list, if not, my mind and thoughts will just sit here and drift all day.
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Post by X factor on Jun 16, 2024 22:06:35 GMT -5
Without working off of a 'to do list', it's like my whole day just becomes scrambled....and nothing gets done.
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Post by X factor on Jun 25, 2024 2:22:11 GMT -5
Since can't sleep, I'll create a late or early morning short 'to do list', may as well try to get a few things done, since still awake.
My biggest sin in life will have been all the time I wasted.
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Post by X factor on Jul 9, 2024 13:52:20 GMT -5
Maybe the 'to do list' is the only thing that can save me from my weird state of mood right now by just getting me to do something, anything, in order to derive meaning from just existing in this moment.
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Post by X factor on Jul 28, 2024 15:24:33 GMT -5
I realize now that most of the stuff on my 'to do lists', don't help me achieve or advance a single thing that matters in my life, or that can make me prosper fiscally...that's been my problem is that I get side tracked with to many made up tasks that just don't matter, yet suck up mind/brain energy when doing them.
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Post by X factor on Jul 28, 2024 15:27:53 GMT -5
I just wrinkled and balled up and threw out like 4 pages of 'to do list' stuff, meaningless stuff that totally wastes my time...none of it has anything to do with earning money or helping me secure a brighter future for self.
No more...going forward, other than like cleaning stuff, like clean the kitchen, etc, no more mindless waste of time stuff.
I can't continue wasting time...not now...I do actually have real life deadlines to meet.
I'm taking a film course, and only get one shot to submit a screenplay, that's where my focus needs to be, not on twitter or whatever.
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Post by X factor on Jul 29, 2024 21:12:44 GMT -5
My to do lists just don't spurn me to do stuff, like they used to...now I just end up balling them up and tossing into the trash when the list grows to long.
That being said, I need to create a new to do list, in order to just not sit here and stare into space.
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Post by X factor on Aug 6, 2024 11:04:33 GMT -5
I've got some solid stuff I should get done today.
1. Call back, contact, all those who responded to storyboard add.
2. Finish current lesson.
3. Check balance in checking account.
4. Check texts on phone, which I've been ignoring for a day or more.
5. Pay internet provider.
Hardcore stuff I need to get done if going to get anything out of the day and feel better at end of day.
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Post by X factor on Aug 24, 2024 21:31:16 GMT -5
Sometimes the 'to do list' can seem scary or unpleasant to me, especially if most of the stuff on it just seem mentally burdonsome to do or complete.
Sometimes I just want to be lazy because I can.
I guess a life long full of effort has really never paid off, so what do I care anymore about grit and determination when others can deny you opportunity simply based on their own personal bias against you.
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Post by X factor on Sept 4, 2024 20:03:34 GMT -5
Time to create and hit the 'to do list' Time to create and then hit the 'to do list', cause heaven knows I sure haven't gotten anything done today yet. Sometimes I think I purposelessly slack as a form of rebellion....this idea that we always have to be in a rush or on a schedule annoys me, and so I subconsciously rebel against that by just doing nothing for long swaths of time. I know that regardless of what I do now, the future, my own, will bring with it chaotic moments regardless. ======================
Some person wanted to have a zoom meeting today, I told them I wasn't dressed or ready for zoom. I don't like people peering at me while in my own place...not a fan of zoom. Anyways, sneezing, not good, means need to double down on some Bragg vinegar, and of course lay off the booze. It's raining out, on and off, took a walk in the rain with umbrella to check mail, but other than that nothing exciting to report, that's good, I suppose.
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Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2024 19:11:55 GMT -5
 Anyways, I think it's time to create a 'to do list', cause I've wasted a combined 90% of today and yesterday doing absolutely nothing but over thinking stuff. I doubt I'll drink anything tonight, drinking can't save me anymore. And I took some _____ _____, didn't do a dern thing for me in the way I thought it would, if anything it messes with your mood...will toss them all away. But in all seriousness, I have no idea what the next step of my life will be, or what it should be. I've been unemployed for the last 7 months taking online classes, and now that's over and I scan employment ads and just get utterly turned off at the idea of becoming a labor slave again. Hourly wage never makes anyone rich or wealthy, hourly wage is a big waste of your time on energy on earth. I mean may as well just start your own business or collect aluminum cans than work some hourly wage job, unless of course you enjoy what you do and the people you work around. My trade, not so much anymore. Anyways, I should stop feeling sorry for myself and try to create a better future for myself. and I don't like where I live anymore...I really just want to up and move. But with Biden flooding the nation with millions of illegal immigrants who aren't accountable to anyone, all the small cozy towns I used to want to move to are probably different now, prices have probably gone up, no vacancy, etc...crime, litter. When poor, what future do you really have... Let me stop before I start depressing myself. Time to do something, anything. |
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