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Post by X factor on Aug 6, 2013 19:17:30 GMT -5
That lonely spot...
It's funny how as soon as you start writing about depression, you know why you're depressed or down...
Every ones depression is different, cause by different things, cause everyone has different needs and wants, and different standards of quality of life.
The outcome of depression is the same, but what can cause it in each induvisual is vastly different.
Failed career, medical prognosis, feeling of being abandoned, living in bad environment, unable to meet financial obligations, getting picked on.
And sometimes just lack of measured progress in life, living a mundane bland existence where achieving goals seem as far away today as they were 5-10-15 years ago.
Also 'aging' can depress some...aging without progress.
Getting older, knowing you're running out of time and energy, while making very little progress in life.
Money is everything in this world, modern industrial man worships money and has built a thrown to it.
And so as people age, if they see they have no nest egg, that can be scary and depressing also.
Sometimes feeling unattractive can make some depress...
Lack of love, never having anyone there to boost ones self esteem...that can have a accumulative effect.
Even listening to other depressing people complain about how bleak things are, can wear on some, soon you start to see the world through their eyes.
So what's the cure to non chemical and clinical depression?
Most everyone knows their cure, but lack resources to fund their cure.
Or lack the personality and confidence to boldly go out and achieve what they want.
There's nothing more depressing to some, than to watch rich, wealthy people sit on their money and do nothing with it...while the dreams and aspirations of millions go unfulfilled...
So many people out there just need a boost to go to college, become director of films, loan to open a small restaurant, a reliable vehicle to get to and from work, mortgage paid off so family can stay in house.
Yet induvisuals worth billions, just seem to help so few, so few outside their own self interest.
And that's their right, it's their money and funds.
Some sit atop billions, while hundreds tonight will pass away, many never being able to fulfill simple dreams, to pre occupied with basic life's struggles to develop their more talented side, to open that restaurant, to get that boat, two pay for those last two semesters of college ect.
Don't feel sorry for the rich.
Feel sorry for those who are rich in heart, but were dealt bad lots in life...
That lonely spot...
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Post by X factor on Aug 6, 2013 19:52:38 GMT -5
The fact that people change, can also be depressing to some....  This could be family, a friend, or friends, or even self, watching self change. Like X-mas time as a youth...  Sometimes we form cherishing memories of the times we had with people in the past, and remember them that way forever... Then we encounter them again...and they have changed, hardly recognizable from the good memories of the past...this could be with friends or family. Watching people grow and change into things we no longer identify with can indeed by depressing for some. And for parents as well, watching their hobbits grow up and just 'change'... Drifting apart...that can be depressing. "if only things could stay the same"....is a comment sentiment amongst many in a depressed state of mind. Wanting to hold on to the good times forever, like those Christmases of old, that can never really come back. And the people we loose, through time, maturity and age, they can never really come back either. But maybe love in the heart, can help give us the ability to accept that, and still love people 'as is', instead of how we want them to be...and hopefully they can apply that to you, me, us, as well... 'Oh X-mas tree Oh X-mas tree...' |
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Post by X factor on Aug 11, 2013 18:10:30 GMT -5
That lonely spot... When you're feeling kind of down and depressed, and really don't know why. When the suns rays gleaming off of bright green leaves of a tree, just don't touch you in the same way. I think getting 'bogged' down can attribute to depression. Being stuck, or thinking you're stuck, in a situation or environment where you don't fit in, feel comfortable, yet can't escape or leave. Now days, with the internet and all, you're almost punished by companies for just 'leaving'... Not like say 30-40-50 years ago, when there was no electronic trail. You could just leave, show up somewhere and start over. In todays world there's really no starting over...your past follows you around. Companies want to know every detail of your life, where you've lived, who you've worked for ect. So there really is no starting over anymore, no more clean slate so to speak, at least not when it comes to employment. But unless one is independently wealthy, employment defines a major part of most peoples life, income generation. 20-30-40 years ago you could pick up and move to a new town or city, and have a place to stay within days, or that same day. Now days, again do to the internet and electronic record keeping, that's no longer possible. Freedom of movement just seems bogged down. You're expected to be loyal to companies, even if company is not serving it's end of the bargain. Happiness to me, right now, is simply living in a tent, out in the middle of nowhere.  In a mild climate or time of the year, where it gets no hotter than 70 during the day, and no cooler than 40 at night... No facilities, just a small stream or pond near by. Complete isolation for a week or two, to reset the mind, body, spirit and soul, kind of like a 'flush'... Everyone needs a 'flush'...at least once in there life, maybe more. Where you just go somewhere and un forget everything. That lonely spot. |
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Post by X factor on Aug 18, 2013 19:11:50 GMT -5
That lonely spot...
When you just want everything to 'stop'...
When you become weary of forwardness, time...feeling, anticipating, that forward moving time only brings tragedy.
That lonely spot when you just feel you've had enough, and want to escape, get away from it all, the whole moneterized system of life, working, but never really having enough to do anything with what you earn.
When you realize it's all unhealthy, unnatural, this whole system, and you just want out.
As if you want to run away to a different planet and start over again...
A place without money, greed, rulership, governments, conflict and so on.
A place you could go and live as ducks and geese do...just living off the abundance that nature produces naturally.
No slave wage schedual to follow, a place still open to mystery, wonder and an abundance of peace.
Kind of sounds like 'Heaven' in a metaphorical way....
Societies were just never meant to swell and get this large...and is why there's so much conflict everywhere...more and more conflict...as it's hard for people to be united on anything once populations swell into the multi millions...300 million plus people...
It's a mess...some or a few seem to benefit and prosper from it, and everyone else is just hearded along.
That lonely spot...
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Post by X factor on Sept 14, 2013 7:10:24 GMT -5
That spot... When you get to the point or spot that you realize cashing induvisual checks is about meaningless, in as far as getting you to where you want to go. Cashing a paycheck becomes about a meaningless exercise in nothing, so you stop cashing, and instead let a few build up. You begin to realize that unless the check is for $5000.00 or more at a time...that there's really nothing life changing about it. All small checks do is make you feel like you've been rewarded, kind of like throwing fish to a trained seal. The seal does a few tricks, you throw it a fish...  Same with small meaningless pay checks... That lonely spot... |
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Post by X factor on Jan 10, 2014 23:08:21 GMT -5
That spot..
When you kind of forget what's suppose to make you happy anymore.
That spot, when you're restless with energy, the urge to 'act'...but aren't compelled to do anything do to fiscal restraints.
So you instead sit and ponder, and wonder where the 'zest' of life within you has gone.
That spot, when you observe everyone else seemingly busy, paired with family or friends, or school, or enjoyable careers, where as all you do is sit and ponder things.
That spot, when you have a continual urge to do something, but don't quiet know what that 'something' is...and so your mind never really allows you to rest.
That spot, when you realize being dumb and rich is better than being brilliant, smart and poor.
That spot, when you realize you'll never form the same bonds with people later in life, as you did with those you grew up around, went K-12 with, or college with.
That spot, when you realize your view of the world, and how things should be, is hardly anyone elses.
That spot, when you realize if, when, you die, maybe 1 or two would show up, if that.
That spot, when you realize you indeed are breakable.
That spot, when you realize everyone sees you through their own filters, and those filters aren't always good, or present you in a positive light.
That spot, when you realize it's better to be lucky than good.
That spot, when you realize that when you cry, no one hears or cares.
That spot, when you realize it's better to be famous and evil, than non famous and wholesome, for opportunity will always be generated, in the form of income, for the famous, evil, or publically flawed ones.
That spot, when you realize whether you lost your V____ before marriage or after marriage, that you still get old and wither...and the person you saved yourself for could care the less...and still ends up leaving, divorcing...and life goes on.
That spot, when you realize being honest and telling the truth means nothing in a corrupt environment.
That spot, when you realize, the people you wanted to be with, will never now, or back then, want to be with you.
And finally, at least for this post...
That spot, when you realize you can only get up so many times after falling, before your spirit is crushed, and soon after you don't want to get up anymore...
That spot...
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Post by X factor on Mar 9, 2014 18:36:20 GMT -5
This has been one of the most drabby feeling weekends I've had in a long time. I mean it may as well be Wendsday or something, the weekend felt more like a Wendsay and Thursday, or a Monday and Tuesday. I have to get out of this area soon, a part of being happy and feeling motivated is living in a healthy community, and seeing others who inspire you, who seem invigorated, and who are educated. Not that being educated makes a person desirable, but when you live in a community where people are either in college or have degrees, the mentality is a lot different from living around single mothers on Gov aid, and grown men with GED's. When I ride around on bike, I don't see no one, or anything that inspires me, just the same dreadful souls walking up and down the sidewalk like zombies. No ones into the 'Arts' around here...  No ones into Jazz, classical music, painting, theater, nothing...everyones hemoginized around here, all the same. Dirty filthy rap music, and the low self esteem it developes in people who listen to it, expecially when they grow up and realize all that jive stuff totally failed to prepare thme for the real world. No arts, no color, no nothing, just a few vehicles driving down the street listening to depressing rappers who rap about depressing things that tear you away from God and happiness. Every things just grey. And everyone has a grey personality, that's what this environment teaches you to have, no emotions, just basic primitive survival instincts. No skills, no emotions, no nothing. No one trusts no one, cause people around here only see examples of the worst behavior, or have for years, and so assume everyone is bad or up to no good. (as they were when they were younger). It's a sterile environment, a colorless sterile environment and if you stay or live in it to long, you to start becoming emotionally sterile and gray. I'm hoping this will be my last year here, we shall see. |
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Post by X factor on Jul 5, 2014 16:17:12 GMT -5
When you get to that spot in your life, existence, where you're no longer going forward. Stalled out, may be a better assessment. It's worse when you're aware that you're stalled out, yet unable to do anything about it for a variety of reasons. Cars aren't the only things that require fuel to run. Humans need fuel as well. There's 1. Physical fuel 2. Mental fuel 3. Spiritual fuel Without fuel, like a car you'll just sit there on the roadway, you can see where you want to go, but without fuel you're unable to get there.  Like the car, our spirits need feel in order to move forward. Fuel as in Hope, Joy and encouragement. And the roadway ahead is 'the plan'. Hope and encouragement are like additives to the fuel. Hope, is a direct result of 'belief'. You have to believe in something in order to have hope. During our happier timesIf you look back, you were happy or happier, cause you had the following ingredients in your life 1. Family bond (A sense of being loved) 2. Friends (A sense of being liked) 3. Structure (security) 4. A plan, course of action that would make life easier, more fulfilling 5. And 1, 2, and 3 were part of the fuel that gave you confidence that you could do 4. Removing 1, 2, and 3 from picture can sometimes stall forward progression. Also Money, or lack of, can either make situation worse or trump all the above. In other words if one doesn't have family bonds, friends or structure...if they were to win the lottery, a $20 million dollar jackpot would totally make up for above list.  If one instantly has the means to buy what they want, pay for schooling, than it just cuts out a lot of nonsense. Having a ton of money available just saves a lot of time and energy...and money is usually the end goal anyways, of what most are trying to do. Sure, people have a passion for this or that, but still at the back end of that passion is money, getting paid. So yes, money does kind of trump a lot of middle work, at least the way modern society is structured. But since most people will not win the jackpot, most people need 1,2,3 in above list. In the following post I will write steps in how to get out of 'that spot' that has life feeling dull and meaningless. |
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Post by X factor on Jul 5, 2014 19:02:41 GMT -5
Some first steps in turning life around, finding happy spot instead of sad depressed spotLet's just get to the point here 1. Take care of all past issues firstThis includes bills and other responsibilities, taking care of the past helps free us up for the future, the quicker we take care of our past, no matter how scary, the quicker we can start looking forward to the future again...take out the garbage!!  2. Make a plan, and follow through with itBefore you can 'plan' you first need a 'pre-plan'...a plan before the plan to put you in position to fulfill the plan. For instance, if you want to move, find place 'now'...and apply for place now, months in advance. If you want a new or better job, than start applying now...yes applications can be a big major PAIN, but the sooner you start applying, the sooner you'll get results. Dating and romance...clean that up to...if you're single, ask every person out that you ever wanted to...just settle it, if they're not willing to go forward with you, than drop them and move on. And if married or already in a relationship, than double down and realize how lucky you are to have what you have. If you want to go back to school, than apply now, today, call school advisory, find out how to get enrolled, apply for grants, make it happen. Doing nothing will only make you feel worse! If you want to start a business, than get started now! get proper license, insurance, create logos ect. Simply the process of trying will make you feel better and lead to more streamlined ideas. Regardless, you need a plan, something in which to work on. 3. Change your environment if need beEnvironments can make or break you...environment, as humans, social beings, we feed off of our environment. Environment is key to over all success and happiness. If you live in or around the hood, move the F out of area, living around people with juevinile mindsets will bring you down...living around a populations where people feed and leach off of the Government will bring you down. Living in an environment where people love to litter will bring you down. On the other hand living around successful families will bring you up, living around people in school, college, who are aspiring to be more, will bring you up. Living in neighborhoods where people respect each other and don't break the law, will bring you up. Living in areas where people are artistic, and colorful will bring you up. But living in thug hood areas where all the males get their degrees from prison, and have no personalities, such an environment will eventually destroy your moral. (but that depends on your age, and level of maturity). Summary 1. Take care of past issues 2. Create a plan of action 3. Change your environment Those are the 3 first steps anyone must take in order to get out of 'that spot'. Life's just way to short to get stuck in 'that spot' that sad, dark, depressing spot for to long. If we don't move and change, than eventually 'that spot' will bury us. More to follow.
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Post by X factor on Jul 6, 2014 8:52:53 GMT -5
A glass house life is the best life to have click to enlargeHaving a glass house life means you're open and honest and have nothing to hide. It means you don't let garbage accumulate in your life, it means you take the garbage out daily, hourly, and deal with issues immediately instead of letting them compile behind you. But having a honest glass house life also means living in an environment where you can do such. Environment includes social, geographical and spiritual, it's important to place self in environment where you can be honest and clean without shysters exploiting you. It's hard to live a glass house life if living in a dirty environment, where every ones crooked and lacks values. It's why I always emphasize how important a healthy environment is to ones over all mental and physical health. If you're living around monsters, it's harder to be an angel. Environments where people, the population, embraces filth and debauchery type stuff, will lower moral and bring you down. Environments that warehouse single parent households, where youth embrace dark forces, are no good, cause these youth then grow up, become adults, and don't know how to act, how to treat others, lack manners, litter, and become bitter and hostile as they age cause they begin to realize they're not properly equipted to deal with adulthood, and so commit crimes and embrace other dark virtues. It's hard to thrive in such environments as this. But none the less one can still live a glass house life within self until able to physically relocate to better area. A glass house life simply means being open and honest about everything, simply means dealing with your problems as they arrive and not allowing things or burdens, to accumulate in your life which will drain your happy mood. A glass house is clean and transparent. A glass life type of life is one of the keys to happiness cause it means you have nothing to hide, and that you deal with all your problems, bills, relationships, as they happen and put nothing on the back burner. The happier you are, the more your life will be like a glass house. But the more unhappy one is, the more their life is like that of a hoarder, someone who's home, life, is filled with all kinds of burdens, and garbage they never get around to taking out.
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Post by X factor on Oct 17, 2014 12:40:54 GMT -5
That Spot when you realize you're a Cinderella type, spending prime years in dark forest When you realize that you're a shining Cinderella type who's forced to spend best and brightest years of potential in a dark forest environment, around others who dampen your smile, would rather bury your potential than uplift it. You glow, but there's nothing to reflect the glow, since living in dark forest environment. Where people would rather step on you than put you on a shelf. Then when past prime, age of attraction, there's nothing left but regrettable memories, wasted moments wasted on people with wasteful minds and outlooks. Living in a dark forest environment, as one who shines, is one of the biggest tragedy's of life.
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Post by X factor on Feb 10, 2015 20:07:13 GMT -5
That spot when you finally realize no one outside of your job gives a damn about you, and they only sorta care or notice about you cause they have to.
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Post by X factor on May 4, 2015 9:04:54 GMT -5
That spot when you just feel totally detached from environment around you. And just want to close out the world for a bit, think, and be alone.  |
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Post by X factor on May 13, 2015 16:49:31 GMT -5
That spot, that mood, that outlook or realization that nothing you do will ever make a dent or matter.
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Post by X factor on Jun 20, 2015 19:47:34 GMT -5
That odd spot
That odd spot when you feel lonely, but don't really want to do anything about it.
That odd spot when you know you're not happy with circumstances in your life, but just seems there's nothing that can be done about it anymore.
That odd spot when nothing on cable TV, no shows, the scripts, the people on them, is anything you can relate to at moment.
That odd spot when maybe you begin to realize the world really doesn't evolve around you and your needs or wants.
That odd spot when the future is no longer comforting and the past makes you embarrassed.
That odd spot and many other faces of depression.
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