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Post by X factor on Jan 31, 2021 15:38:41 GMT -5
That spot where you just get older and stop looking forward to any type of job
Yes, I'm at that point, and can't think of any job I'm qualified for that makes me eager to begin...it's all just labor to me, at this time and place in life.
Maybe cause I'm not in love, have no family, no friends, thus I have nothing to prove.
Love, being in love, feeling love, really 'drives you', but when absent of that, you become a different person.
Not a mean person, but a lot of things do stop mattering to you, since it's just 'you' you're looking out for.
If I were in love, I'm sure I'd go out and find the most highest paying job I could and feel like I was doing it for 'my lover', or for my spouse, or even for my 'off spring', if I had any...but I don't so it doesn't matter to me, it's just labor.
Different routine maybe, different schedule, but it's the same labor, and working around same old bland soles...I really do need a change.
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Post by X factor on Mar 15, 2021 9:39:14 GMT -5
At a wierd spot
When poor and save money, can only do a few things with it, can only chose A or B or C, but not them all, where as wealthy people can chose A,B,C and D and more, and if fail at one, so what, wealthy enough to not even feel the loss.
But when poor if wrong and fail, it can be devastating and take years to recover from, and the older you get, the less years you have to recover, and the less enthusiastic energy as well.
I can do something that's fun, more gratifying to my ego, or I can continue to save a bit longer and do something not as fun, but long term could give me a more desirable lifestyle.
One has to do with radio, the other has to do with investing or day trading type stuff.
Day trade stuff would allow me to save income I make now, more, but from home, radio stuff, well that's basically a big money dump, something that would appeal to my ego for 1 hour a week.
It's all about timing, had I had radio opportunity a few years ago, sure, but now, not so sure, cause I'd have to pay the fees until and if got sponsors, and the fees in radio are pretty hefty.
But so is the initial fee to join brokerage firm, only there you pay it all at once.
But once paid, I could earn back, where as with radio, since wouldn't have no sponsors and can't assume I'd get any, it would just be a ton of money, per month, out the window.
And who am I trying to save anyways?...if Rush or Levin, or Art Bell, or any of the other big radio guys couldn't make a difference, why would I?
They're in radio cause they made a business out of radio, had sponsors, become millionaires, I hardly doubt the same would occur with me in one small market and show only airing once a week.
It would just be an ego thing, is why I say timing is everything cause my ego not as big now as it would have been a few years ago if in same situation, and the only situation I speak of is having a small decent amount saved up.
But this is where I have to be very careful, cause is where non investor types, weekly paycheck types, tend to make the wrong decisions and 'money dump'...is why weekly pay check people end up working up into their 70's cause did not learn how to save or invest money wisely.
I think this is that juncture for me...I just gotta save for another few months, then 'do it', the day trade stuff that is.
Then, if still want to do radio, would have enough money to do it then, comfortably.
Only time will tell, we shall say, gotta call that money place again and see what they tell me.
At my age and stage, when mess up, there's no one to bail me out.
Society barely tolerates us when barely getting by, but if totally broke and can't pay bills, no ones your friend, so I must think carefully about my next fiscal move.
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Post by X factor on Jun 24, 2021 13:27:25 GMT -5
That spot when you feel detached from everything, even yourself
Like just floating around in emotional space, with nothing solid to grab onto, nowhere to land.
That's for sure how I feel right now, and I don't like that feeling at all.
Sure moods come and go, certain information, reaction to that information, behavior, effect 'that mood', and sure 'that mood' will pass, but while in that mood, it seems it's lasting forever.
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Post by X factor on Dec 2, 2021 6:59:17 GMT -5
I struggle to raise enough moral on the inside to even want to get out of bed this morning for work.
What a low point.
No joy what so ever towards anything.
'That spot'
That spot where I'm wondering what it all means anymore and my purpose in this seemingly meaningless existence of a day.
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Post by X factor on Apr 9, 2022 18:53:25 GMT -5
That spot, where internally you don't really know where you are, you're there, but that's about it, you see your reflection in the mirror, but that's about it
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Post by X factor on Jun 12, 2022 7:23:55 GMT -5
That spot where everything seems fake, and street criminals are the only ones who seem honestly crooked
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Post by X factor on Jul 13, 2022 9:16:21 GMT -5
That spot where you just have nowhere to go anymore  That spot where you just have nowhere to go anymore.
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Post by X factor on Apr 3, 2023 16:23:33 GMT -5
In a weird spot right now
A transitional spot, a reality check spot with half a question mark.
A mid-life crisis spot?
I just don't know, I just know I feel different on the inside.
I think I need to let go of some things, or the notion of some things.
I don't think this world wants everyone to be a winner.
Maybe I need to accept defeat and go out softly.
I just don't know.
I have no family or friends or anyone to guide me, so have to figure this stuff out on my own, or through TV shows, movies, ect.
I just don't know, we'll see how I feel in a few days.
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Post by X factor on Jul 2, 2023 22:13:55 GMT -5
That emotional spot, where find yourself asking yourself 'Why am I even here anymore?' I never thought my life would turn out like it has. I mean from the surface, sure, all seems fine, I have a job, a place to stay, I never get in trouble with the law. From the surface, it seems like a clean normal life, but when dig deeper, it's not. It's a life of under achievements, unfulfilled dreams, no family, no friends, and quickly losing hunger for anything anymore. Yet I'm still here, and not really sure why. Always waiting on that one 'OK, this is why I was born', moment, but it never seems to come with me, instead I've been asking self lately 'if this is all there is to my life, why was I born?'. I don't know, I know moods can take us to dark places if we're not careful, that I do know. 
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