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Post by X factor on Feb 28, 2022 13:52:35 GMT -5
It's a grey day and raining outside  It's a grey day outside and raining. My mood is OK, could be better, but health isn't 100%, should probably go to the doctor, but don't feel like wasting money, if turns out to be nothing. Money money money money, everything's about money. Think I'll lay down for a bit and take a break from basically doing nothing. I'll rest a bit, get back up and get back to basically doing nothing again. But it's my day to do nothing with, I suppose.
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Post by X factor on Mar 1, 2022 22:53:57 GMT -5
Careful about answering the phone at night, as you're about to go to bed
Got to be careful about answering the phone at night, as you're about to go to bed, and in a calm mellow mood, lest someone call and plant some negative crap in your mind.
And you know how the mind is, the mind will dwell on stuff you cannot solve...thus ruining your otherwise quiet, or mentally quite peaceful pre-bed time mood.
My pre-bed time zone or space, is a time when I clear all the days crap out and away, and just start relaxing, and the last thing I need is some call, or text or message that totally disrupts that moment.
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Post by X factor on Mar 13, 2022 23:07:42 GMT -5
Today I was off, but my mind was mush for most of the day
Work seemingly has become so devastating to my moral and spirit that it's like the first day off I'm in some kind of a mental coma, just out of it.
I've had a whole day to recoup, yet still feel as if in a mental coma, and in no way am I ready for tomorrow.
I had so many plans last week, I feel like a different person this week, last weeks passions just aren't here right now.
Last week wanted to join the Airbnb thing, this week, as of now anyways, I just feel like hiding away from society.
Sometimes I feel as long as I have enough food to eat, access to the internet, and can pay rent, it's like what else do I need?
I think that's just older aged laziness setting in, but it's not that I don't try to get ahead in life, it's just when I do I always seem to fail at it.
It's as if born to just be subpar, average, if that.
I probably write more, express self more than any other average person in the history of mankind.
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Post by X factor on Mar 13, 2022 23:10:06 GMT -5
Continued from above.... Yes, where has all my motivation gone from last week? Where is it? And now tomorrows arriving, coming at me, like a big gigantic fist.  |
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Post by X factor on Mar 18, 2022 9:54:43 GMT -5
I find mail to just be overwhelming now I find the mail to just be overwhelming now.  I find the mail that I get to just be overwhelming now, all it does is pile up. And only receive mail that wants stuff from me, rather than mail that gives me anything. I have a big shoe box I put it all in until filled to the brim, then I'll go through it. Offers, bills, notices, junk mail, flyers and so forth. But every now and then you'll catch that one envelope that either brings you super joy and delight, or super dread and fear. IRS notices would bring you fear, but say some unexpected check from your last employer would bring you joy and so forth. Seems just having a name warrants you receiving mail, just your name in the system generates junk mail.
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Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2022 16:57:16 GMT -5
Mail Call
About to go through my mail, and for me that's a big event, a shoe box sized event.
I just let the mail pile up, it's just to much for me.
I'm one person and can only do so much, and refuse to allow this world to stress me out.
So I just let it pile up, and maybe that's my weakness, maybe if I were more responsible early on in life I'd be in a better spot now, but I'm not.
The world should just quit wasting mail on me cause most of it goes straight in the trash.
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Post by X factor on Apr 9, 2022 19:02:07 GMT -5
I write like most people play music. I hit all the right notes when I should. It sometimes saddens me that no one is ever curious about who or what I am. But maybe that's good, for peace is sometimes being anonymous.  |
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Post by X factor on Apr 21, 2022 6:27:29 GMT -5
How is a doctor a expert to me, when I never go to one?
And whenever do get sick, I take steps on my own to heal myself.
So am I an expert on my own health then?
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Post by X factor on Apr 26, 2022 0:30:33 GMT -5
I hate people who spend all their time making others feel that they're bad or guilty do to said persons or people's own personal inner hang ups.
To me, evil is a person who's always making negative, unwarranted, judgements about another persons intentions.
Because their negative assumptions about another, or others, is what fouls up peoples day, and life's experience.
If you happen to be one of those types of people, please stop doing that to others.
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Post by X factor on Apr 26, 2022 0:34:46 GMT -5
And I've learned, throughout life, that it's usually those who are always accusing others of being no good or doing no good, are the very ones who's hearts are dark and dirty.
I've seen this play out on many occassions.
People with dark dirty hearts always assume everyone else has a dark and dirty heart.
They judge you with the 'Well if I were them, I'd do this or that', type of BS.
Well you're not them, you're you.
And if you yourself have a dirty unrepentent heart, than clean up your own heart, and stop guessing what's in other peoples heart, you witch.
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Post by X factor on Apr 26, 2022 0:40:42 GMT -5
And I've learned, throughout life, that it's usually those who are always accusing others of being no good or doing no good, are the very ones who's hearts are dark and dirty. I've seen this play out on many occassions. People with dark dirty hearts always assume everyone else has a dark and dirty heart. They judge you with the 'Well if I were them, I'd do this or that', type of BS. Well you're not them, you're you. And if you yourself have a dirty unrepentent heart, than clean up your own heart, and stop guessing what's in other peoples heart, you witch.
And that's because they've never changed, they're every bit the sinner they were when came to 'Jesus', cause if Jesus has to change you, than you've never changed, you just fake like you've changed.
True change has to come from self, not some 3rd party spirit. |
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Post by X factor on Apr 26, 2022 0:47:14 GMT -5
Pastors, many of them, not all, but many, especially in the historical past, are like demons to me.
In the past, just about all hateful things came out of the church, and Pastors spewing fear and hostility towards things they didn't understand.
And using the fear of 'hell' to whip everyone else, their communities, up into a frenzy.
Every social injustice from the past, was preached from the pulpits of churches once upon a time.
I don't want to get into specifics as not to alienate anyone or people, but this applies in all societies actually, and not just in the U.S.
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Post by X factor on May 2, 2022 14:14:11 GMT -5
I don't think high energy is sustainable over multiple days.
I think if you have high energy one day, then the next day your body will slow down to restore all the energy it spent the previous day.
Energy, not even the energy our bodies produce, is free, it all comes at a cost.
Energy here, less energy there, everything that uses or creates energy has to refuel sooner or later.
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Post by X factor on May 3, 2022 12:26:58 GMT -5
No worse feeling than seeing number on your phone as it rings, and for some reason thinking it's some one whom you've always wanted to call you, so you answer the phone, and realize you were mistaken, and instead of being someone you like, whom you wished would call and finally did, instead it's like a salesperson you dealt with from weeks earlier checking up on ect and whatever.
Talk about a disappointing feeling.
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Post by X factor on May 5, 2022 10:59:56 GMT -5
2 step verification sucks, especially if change your phone number as much as I do, and to verify your account, they always want to send a text or code the the phone number you no longer have.
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