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Post by X factor on Jan 12, 2016 5:51:14 GMT -5
Grey, everything seems grey to me right nowI don't feel nothing actually. Everything seems grey.  Alabama and Clemson played for championship yesterday night and I could of cared the less. I never thought sports would become 'grey' to me also, but I seriously just don't care about sports anymore. Watching others prosper does nothing for me anymore if I'm not prospering with them. Very few things seem to excite me lately. TV is barely tolerable anymore. The older I get the smaller people on TV seem. Actors act...and are some of the most selfish people with their wealth, then have elaborate award shows where they compliment one another. But they're so out of touch to their fans, to regular people, yet want us to continue worshipping them and making them rich, yet they make no one rich in return. Actors are some of the most stingy people on the planet, as such they just no longer impress me at all. They're just average ordinary people who 'act' for a living. Again, everything just seems grey to me right now. I think maybe the screens on TV should be reverse so that those we watch can watch us back and see what our lives are like. They'd find our lives are more interesting than there's.
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Post by X factor on Jan 18, 2016 21:39:03 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder if God is a demon I say that cause it just amazes me the cooky behavior that seems to come out of some or many, who claim to be acting and reasoning in the name of 'God' or higher principles. Cause I just don't see anymore.. What I see is people willing to believe ugly lies about another, a family member, and never bothering to check whether it's true or not. I see people separating from another over 'sin', when the person isn't even 'sinning' but do to influence of a book or church, person never bothers to fact check. I see people acting on bias, that factually is unfounded. And or I see people saying to worship a God of love, forgiveness and kindness and redemption, yet they extend no such to others. It makes no sense at all, that so many who claim to believe in a god of love, have so little to show in own hearts. I see people justifying hate and division, do to a loving God. It just makes no sense. Just not sure what's feeding people to be this way, that they'll all claim is god. Yet even the same people who claim to worship 1 god, same spirit, can't stand one another based on slight differences. Again, just doesn't make sense, something is very 'off'.
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Post by X factor on Jan 19, 2016 23:31:57 GMT -5
I wish I were rich and powerful and didn't have to worry about nothingClass and Jazz...thanks MC music choice for introducing us to so much interesting music! Class and Jazz...  Who the hell am I really? This is the Twylight Zone...never forget that...
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Post by X factor on Jan 26, 2016 22:46:44 GMT -5
Last post before bed...
But I don't like when people, anyone, 'Likes' me on social media...don't like me, don't agree with me, don't follow me.
I have to remain totally independent in order to be true.
Don't follow me or nothing, cause eventually I'll say something that upsets you in that this soul here is very broad.
I'm the whole football field where as most can simply be measured in yards.
I don't need anyone suddenly thinking I'm their hero...cause eventually they'll find out I'm not.
I'm just a free thinker.
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Post by X factor on Jan 31, 2016 14:54:53 GMT -5
ebay has gone the route of all the other sites, yuk!
Just visited ebay, and they're nothing like they were years ago when they first came out, where amateur sellers would upload on home crafted stuff and sell it, like a flea market or something.
Now you go on there and it's just like going to Walmart, everything for sell is crap I can just go down to Dollar store and buy!
I hate the new internet, how all these sites that use to be so cool and fun to go to, where common people could talk and trade and prosper, have all given into, over ran by corporatism and major product brands.
Banners, adds, browser gets clogged up, I hate it all.
Like with politicians, establishment politicians, same with companies, they're all so out of touch with what common people want, like and desire.
Everything is just so cheap now, so impersonal, and the little guy/gal, is just shoved further and further into the background.
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Post by X factor on Mar 3, 2016 19:52:32 GMT -5
Can't sell personal stuffIn the past, every time I've sold personal stuff, for extra cash, later I've always wished I hadn't, from vehicles to cameras to other, it seems once sold, you can never recover or get same for same value. I mean selling something you've owned for years, that can't be bought in stores anymore, for $30 bucks? I mean what's $30.00 bucks? Not even 1 months electric bill, not even a plastic grocery store basket worth of groceries...  Whatever you sell for 30 bucks, that has been in family or your possession for years, the 30 bucks earned from sell will be gone in one quick spending spree, on fuel, food, or entertainment. Just not worth it to me. It would be easier for me to buy something for cheap and sell for more, an item I have no history with, than to sell something I've had in possession for years.
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Post by X factor on Mar 6, 2016 17:32:27 GMT -5
Just messing around with different visuals Just messing around with different visuals. There's a lot you can do with your own art. Just experimenting here, nothing to see.
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Post by X factor on Mar 17, 2016 22:27:04 GMT -5
Social media circlesI use to think I'd like having lots of social media 'circles' as google calls it, face book calls it friends, ect...but now not so much. Why? Cause seems the more people who follow you, who claim to be your friend or interested in you, the smaller you have to become. And subconsciously you start writing small, cause you don't want to offend anyone, or express thought that someone might not agree with. The more people in your circle, the less honest you tend to write. But when you write as if the last person on the planet, all alone, you tend to write with reckless abandonment, not caring who thinks what of what you express, as long as you're being honest with self while expressing it. Also, other people don't allow you to change or evolve, however they meet you is how they expect you to stay forever. You post one blog on subject they agree on, then they think everything else you post should be to their liking. Other people tend to keep you very small and simple, for their own convenience, not your own. Me personally, I can't be tethered like that. I prefer writing as if on a planet all alone, it just flows better that way. 
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Post by X factor on Apr 3, 2016 19:45:29 GMT -5
Side thoughts Not sure what kind of mood I'm in. I wish I could leave the planet, whole and conscious, either in spirit form or body form. I've had enough of civilization, and like most, just want to be left alone, no Governance or anything. (Then many would say 'how would you survive if not done in team effort?) That I do not know. Many animal species survive solo, but that's because whatever they eat doesn't need to be cooked, refrigerated and is plentiful, with man it's different. In the past I'm sure there was a lot of wild growing edible fruits on trees, and vegetables, and clean un polluted water from creeks, but now, not so much, the world of commerce has hoarded all the land, and makes it so you have to go to the market to get food, unless already own personal property. I guess in space would be even more difficult to sustain self unless destined for another planet with food already there. As such leaving Earth in spirit form would be even better, I suppose. Demons, spirits, Angels, how do they sustain their energy I wonder?, what do they eat? Energy is energy, and even evil spirits need nourishment, so what do they eat I wonder? Anyways... Not a very fulfilling weekend. There's things I could write about but don't feel like it. I guess I'm basically cave writing now, for people to read about in the future. With all the writings on the net now days, the 100's of 1000's of blog posts, ever wonder how many of the Authors of those posts are deceased? I've stumble across blog posts over 10 years old, makes you wonder where the Author is today. Not in a very cheery mood right now, and have nothing to look forward to tomorrow. Sometimes I find myself wishing something catastrophic would happen and shake up the routine of man. Such an event would set some of us free, and bind others. I wish I had more to say, just not in a very creative writing mood right now. Later
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Post by X factor on May 20, 2016 22:00:22 GMT -5
What if man is the creation of a computer or computers?  I'm watching the movie 'Demon Seed' right now, old sci-fi flick from the 70's. While watching this movie of super computer trying to impregnate woman, how smart it is, the millions of bits of code it can run ect, I just occurred to me, as complex as man is, all life is, even the most simplistic life form, to me it kind of makes sense that maybe man, life, was created, coded, by super machines or computers? More thoughts on this later as time allows.
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Post by X factor on Jun 11, 2016 10:47:59 GMT -5
I have stopped forward thinking
My writing has slowed down a lot, which means I have drastically stopped thinking forward.
It's as if my outlook has finally succumbed to this environment, something I always never wanted to happen, in that I never wanted to become a victim of mundane living, a mundane schedule which turns you into a mundane person, soul.
And now I feel like that has happened, like I've just given up, as if reality has won.
I realize now unless apart of great institution, no matter how brilliant, at whatever craft you're good at, you will not get noticed, noticed maybe yes, recognized no, ignored yes.
Cause if you succeed or are good at something outside the great institutions it takes away their credibility, but only in their mind.
People pay big money to go to these institutions ect, they can't have others doing well outside of them, or it would delegitimize them.
Someone like Trump can over come that, in that he already has a brand name and vast wealth, but most don't have his vast wealth, so simply get buried, simply die with untapped potential, and instead forced to look at those in media 1/4 or less what you could of done if recognized.
I've just given up basically, I can tell, everything has slowed, I realize I can write the most genus stuff, and to no avail, one or two views, then forgotten forever or stolen and repackaged.
People are sick in that they don't, won't, give you cred for anything unless you travel in their circles.
I'm just the opposite, and think more like a promoter.
But most don't.
Most, if you're good at something, outshine them in certain area, they simply see you as a threat and bury you.
In reality most of us don't have a shot at anything in this world, are just told we do when younger to stay motivated to work for and earn others money.
I'm tired, and not sure what to do from here on out.
For even to have peace and left alone you must have wealth.
Without wealth, you'll never ever be left alone in this sick world or societies that fallen man has created.
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Post by X factor on Aug 5, 2016 21:39:17 GMT -5
Reality show on former lottery winnersWish they'd create a reality show on former lottery winners, those who won $5 million or more. I'd like to know how they're doing today. 1. Did they blow their money? 2. Did the grow their money? 3. Are their lives better or worse since winning lottery? 4. Did winning lotter effect marriage in good or bad way? 5. If single, did winning lottery find them love? This and more, myself and others would like to know about former lottery winners. I think it would make interesting reality show. 
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Post by X factor on Sept 5, 2016 21:05:11 GMT -5
Saw a TV show yesterday, where someone was preparing 'cold cuts', or baloni sandwhiches, and it made me hungry for the same, so went out today and bought some 'cold cuts' meat and dressing, and digging in as I write this..  |
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Post by X factor on Sept 22, 2016 20:12:12 GMT -5
Ladies and Gentlemen, despite what you see on TV, CNN/Fox ect, talk radio, in regards to street protesters in Charlotte riots, all is good, and fine.
The vast majority, as in 99.999999% of Americans, in bed, at home, resting up from work, at ball games, bowling, at rodeos, late shift at work, having 'whoopi' ect.
For those who can still think, and are rational, you no doubt realize it's kind of all a farce.
Not to the people actually out on the streets, but to the majority of others who are not.
There is no vast racial strife, no chaos...please don't let the media play you.
Are there serious issues out there, yes, but the drama on the streets is just that, drama, and won't change a darn thing...
The media coverage will simply make the media rich richer, and those without will still be without.
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Post by X factor on Oct 10, 2016 19:30:47 GMT -5
Don't know where I'm at right now or where I'm going anymoreI'm watching the old 'Dick Cavett' show right now...  And Christifer Reeve, (Superman) is being interviewed in this old episode from like 1981 or something. Him and Robin Williams were roommates at some prestigious school of arts when students. And that's just my point, nothing is by accident, most people in film today went to school for it, many musicians, also graduated from music school, same with movie directors, they all know, knew, each other when younger and up and coming, and formed networks within the 'system'. Even Tupac Shakur attended a prestigious school of arts in Boston, along with other now famous people who went to same school. Point is, I'm realizing now, unless an insider, apart of one of these great institutions of art, pretty much forget about ever being noticed or discovered by anyone. As with politics, unless groomed from inside the system, the chances of ever being let in are slim to none. None of them just had talent, and no school, they all were in school, and had talent, and all ride, rode, that talent train together, being introduced to alumni in the industry, institutions, connections, job leads and more. Without that, forget about it, without that, you can have all the talent in the world and no one cares, cause people want to 'protect' their own sacred path, and to succeed outside of that path would delegitimize that path, and what people pay to be on that path. As far as entertainment, rappers are about the only ones to create on success without going through normal chains, cause most were cut out to begin with, many just started creating their own recording studios, producing their own music, distributing their own stuff, creating own videos, ect. But outside of rap, it's still a very hard thing to do or accomplish. Part 2 In my day to day life, I'm around some of the most bland people one could ever imagine, and that's hard for someone like myself who use to have such big large dreams, always saw self being a show person, entertainer, creating great works, anything, something, other than just being used up and dying in a mundane 9-5 life. That's great for some, but not so for others who so dreamed of just 'being more'. And then you get older and begin to realize you'll never ever make any mark of any kind, especially if not in right environment, or around right people. Most just don't think of themselves as 'celebrities', weren't around important people when younger, didn't see parents host parties ect. Most, in the world I live in now, are just content turning a wrench and or griping about politics but never doing anything about it. To me it's like living amongst the dead, that seem to want you to be as dead as they are, the women, the men, everyone. The most exciting people though, average people, are those on the streets, why?, cause at least they still dream of more. I was semi homeless once, and the streets were 10 times more exciting than apartment or house life, where now you're just shut in alone, work all day, come home, and are shut in alone away from all, at least when on the streets, every night had the potential to be dynamic, and full of drama, I felt more alive, survival instincts sharper. Now it just seems been reduced to a generic worker, earning just enough to not be broke, but not enough to go anywhere, just stuck. It can effect moral after a while. I feel I was meant for more, just not sure how to get there anymore.
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