Depression, and the many layers of...

There is evil in this world, but you can't really touch it, but it's a vein that runs through the personality and behavior of men, or people.

It runs through others, of no character, or inner content, no godly virtue, and follows you around, bouncing from person to person.

The evil vein is like a current, and runs in and out of those with hollow souls who have nothing on the inside to measure bad behavior against.

The evil vein can't effect, or is harder for it to effect, people who are balanced, secure in self and have principles based on scripture.

It's harder for the evil vein to effect those who derive their identity from a loving balanced fair God or savior, cause these people have a source of happiness that lays outside the frailty of mans bio chemical based nature.

They will say hi to you, and always want to life you up simply cause it's the right thing to do.

Where as bio chemically based people are full of emotionally based insecurities that make them behave Kooky.

In other words if you're full of talent, personality, have passion and creativity, a bio based persons ego won't allow them to acknowledge your gifts, instead they'll automatically try to diminish your person in various ways.

They'll ignore you, won't look you in the face when speaking, if a cashier, hand you your money while looking other way, and other kooky stuff.

If you look good, have it together, they will through their actions, try to diminish your value.

Not cause you did anything wrong, but cause that evil vein runs through their hollow soul.

Without a faith based personality, than evil can steer people in any direction it wants, and since the person is hollow, they're fine with it.

When there is no divine based love within ones soul, that soul will accept and excuse, justify, any type of behavior coming from self, there is no shame, just justification.

There are a lot of Satanic individuals who don't even notice how ugly they behave towards others, nor do they care.

It's also generationally becoming more prominent.

More people are becoming godless, and is why in certain communities costumer service has been getting worse for decades now.

Women who gossip right in front of costumers, and don't even bother saying 'Thank you please come again'.

And finally if you are a good person with talent, educated, and honorable, the devil, the evil vein that runs through the walking dead, will do it's best to diminish your value, will do it's best to sabotage your efforts at every turn, will do it's best to discourage you, but you in enviornments that work against your person.

Cause the last thing the devil wants is to see a competent person of God thrive in this world.

No one else may understand that, but the zone does.

Depression brought on by realization

Depression bought on by realization of the facts, or ones own limits, social limits, fiscal limits, can be heavy and hard to over come at times.

And if you have no friends, no family contact or family, than it can be worse, cause then when you're depressed not 1 soul out of billions who habitat this world care.

You could die in the closet and not a soul in the world would know or care.

I've read stories, seen stories, on TV where people have been dead in their homes for weeks, months, even years, and no one even notice.

They weren't noticed in life, and certainly weren't noticed in death, in fact got more publicity in death, more attention in death, than while alive.

Depression is like a cloud that can keep taking different forms, and arise out of different situations or mindsets.

Not being relevant to others can also bring on depression.

Even criminals have relevant meaning to others, are often married, have hobbits, friends, lovers.
Even people in wore torn areas of the world, although going through hardship, have intact families, communities, to get through those hardships with.

And some poople jump into very hard relationships just to not feel alone.

Wanting to go to college, yet having to decide between bills, and brighter future, can also trigger depression.
Risk, can trigger depression.

There are no answers in this post, just thoughts.

Depression waves



Felt happy and hopeful when I awoke, now mood is bit depressed after taking nap and dreaming of relative from the past.

Mood is like ball in graph, up and down, down and up.

One thing or thought can trigger it going either way.

I complain about work, but then when out of work no drive to do anything.

I let myself down over and over again.

Just not sure what where to get motivation from, inspiration from, from current environment and reality.

If it's not there it's just not there.

When depressed, the sunlight stops meaning anything



In fact when depressed, one seems to derive more joy from darkness than light.

For when it's light out and bright, it reminds one who is depressed who little they can partake in it.

But when dark, world shrinks, to match ones own view of self within world or environment.

Darkness becomes cover to the depressed, where the world now reflects inner mood.

Not feeling today at all.

Not feeling hopeful about much.

Feel very small today, sidelined and far away from any type of money train.

Sometimes not sure if moving will solve anything.

Millions have talent, seems only a small fraction are able to make money off that talent.

Without money, just a slave.

Depression and the many layers of

When you start feeling useless to self, is when yet another layer of depression begins creeping in.

When you start feeling you no longer have the mental strength, spirit, enthusiasm, to lift self out of whatever situation you're in and don't like.