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Post by X factor on Oct 12, 2020 1:13:02 GMT -5
Think I'm depressed right now (big deal right).
I don't have any drive at the moment, and easily just give up when a task doesn't go right.
In the past, referring to social media, the smallest effort got you lots of views, like on YT, or twitter ect, but now, seems unless you're a corporation or brand name, you can spend hours on a cool video or audio, and get snuffed out by platform, buried, unfound.
It wasn't like that in the past, in the past geeky people could share stuff with other geeky people, and it kind of boosted your moral, it was like going out without actually physically going out, this could sustain you for hours, even days...but now, nothing but crickets.
Bots and algorythms have taken over, small efforts are no longer rewarded, it's as if Hollywood and big production have moved in on social media now, and so once again the 'small' people are buried and left out and just expected to be consumers rather than creators.
So now once again it takes 1000's of dollars to be seen, just like before social media.
Social media is a money machine now, and if not bringing views or money to the table, the large social sites have no need for 'you', 'us' anymore, other than to mine our personal data.
In the past you'd post a YT video and get almost 400 random views overnight, now you're lucky to get 4 views in a week...tell me something hasn't changed.
Millions of people surfing YT, and you only get 4 views in a week?...tell me they're not controlling traffic flow.
Greed totally turns people, corporations, into sick ugly monsters.
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Post by X factor on Oct 12, 2020 1:39:38 GMT -5
I just refuse to be reduced to a mindless consumer, who's only job is to support those in the media I deem mentally unfit for their spots, yet hurled to the top, and kept there artificially.
Social media, in the past, was for us above talent types to get noticed, then the greed moved in, the monetizations moved in, and now the small people once again kicked out and expected to just set our own talent aside and simply be mindless consumers.
Bunk that...I'll find a way, I'll find another way, but right now current mood has me feeling kind of small.
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Post by X factor on Oct 12, 2020 1:47:09 GMT -5
Just tired of playing 'big software's game of endless giving up of your personal information, for near zero in return, it's just not fulfilling anymore.
Nothing works right, every things slow and sluggish, cookies here, cookies there, this lying azz disclaimer, that lying azz disclaimer, sell your soul, and get nothing in return.
All apps are simply spying devices now, sold to the highest bidder.
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2020 10:30:02 GMT -5
I think I'm depressed, cause I don't feel eager or excited about anything anymore.
That's life in a vaccum or vacumm or vacume for you, and it's even worse that I can't even spell vaccum correctly.
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2020 10:32:34 GMT -5
I think I just need to take a drive, stretch out a bit, expand my current environment...
When I was younger, a hobbit, I remember my Father would just load us up into the car on the weekend, and we'd just drive, drive just to drive, like explore the local scenery and all, maybe they had something there.
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Post by X factor on Nov 16, 2020 4:35:08 GMT -5
Depression is like a monster you can feel moving in on you at times Depression can feel or be like a monster you feel moving in, just lurking to grab you. You try to run away from it, but like in a dream, the gravity of that which makes you depressed, seems to just pull you in towards it. And then it smothers you, but no one else can 'see it', which makes it even more depressing, cause no one else can see what it is that's making you feel depressed, so while this depression monster is all over you, since no one else can see it, you have to pretend it's not there either, when it really is. Darn.
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Post by X factor on Nov 16, 2020 4:42:32 GMT -5
Depression is like a monster you can feel moving in on you at times Depression can feel or be like a monster you feel moving in, just lurking to grab you. You try to run away from it, but like in a dream, the gravity of that which makes you depressed, seems to just pull you in towards it. And then it smothers you, but no one else can 'see it', which makes it even more depressing, cause no one else can see what it is that's making you feel depressed, so while this depression monster is all over you, since no one else can see it, you have to pretend it's not there either, when it really is. Darn. Let's take a closer look at that 'monster' up above, I mean what is it that monster really wants, and or is trying to communicate? Maybe that monster is lonely and is crying out for help. I mean if you or I were that 'monster' how would we feel? Maybe that monster is in a lot of pain, and needs a doctor. Or maybe it's lashing out at those who created it. I'd be upset to if looked in the mirror and looked like that thing. Sometimes we need to examine the 'monster' to better understand ourselves is all I'm trying to say or express. |
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 4:31:17 GMT -5
This guy in video is about the only guy who makes me feel happier right now, cause they're tough, witty, yet so very kind to others
I think confidence makes you a nicer person, he's a confident fighter, so he's a nice fighter.
People who are mean towards others, just aren't very confident.
The guy in the video is like a super hero to me, for real, cause they're so confident that they come off as being so very nice, playful and a bit silly, just the way older brothers use to be.
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 4:33:31 GMT -5
People who are fearful of others, or another, on the inside usually have very ugly personalities.
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 4:42:46 GMT -5
I think people are ugly towards me, initially anyways, cause they're fearful of who and or what I am.  But I don't believe this guy here would be fearful of me, cause they're confident. And because they're so very confident, I doubt they'd see me as a threat, but rather someone to either feel sorry for or to awe over once they got to know my mind. I wish there were more people like this guy in the world. Most fighters are insecure jerks who want to hurt others to validate their frail insides. But this fighter, just look how nice, kind, and patient they are with others, the way a big brother is with younger brother, teaching them the ways of life and all. The guy in this video deserves an award, in my opinion, for being so very kind and nice to others. |
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 4:49:07 GMT -5
The personality profile of most is they'll build you up to be some kind of a monster, to justify their fear, then when they find out you're not a monster, the first thing they do is try to exploit you, and then the monster in them comes out.
That's just how most people are.
So most people walk around pretending they're monsters when most really aren't...like a shield effect I suppose.
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 4:53:05 GMT -5
I think people are ugly towards me, initially anyways, cause they're fearful of who and or what I am. But I don't believe this guy here would be fearful of me, cause they're confident. And because they're so very confident, I doubt they'd see me as a threat, but rather someone to either feel sorry for or to awe over once they got to know my mind. I wish there were more people like this guy in the world. Most fighters are insecure jerks who want to hurt others to validate their frail insides. But this fighter, just look how nice, kind, and patient they are with others, the way a big brother is with younger brother, teaching them the ways of life and all. The guy in this video deserves an award, in my opinion, for being so very kind and nice to others. I like this guy, cause he doesn't have to prove he can beat anyone up. I wonder if Bruce Lee was like that to? Most fighters, if you watch their videos, their videos are about destroying the other person, how sick and gross is that. But this man, in this video, look how loving and kind they are, they don't want to hurt anyone, they could if they wanted to, but they don't. That's straight up love and confidence, or confidence which then breeds love, I don't know. |
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 5:05:16 GMT -5
What I miss most is being able to play with people without then getting all scared, fighting is a form of play.
Like in middle school or high school years, you'd, we'd all play and wrestle around with our friends, almost constantly, then suddenly it just all stops.
Playing is a form of affection, a non sxual form of affection that's so very important 5o healthy mental development.
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 5:10:06 GMT -5
What I miss most is being able to play with people without then getting all scared, fighting is a form of play. Like in middle school or high school years, you'd, we'd all play and wrestle around with our friends, almost constantly, then suddenly it just all stops. Playing is a form of affection, a non sxual form of affection that's so very important 5o healthy mental development. Yes, to have another person grab you, and then throw you to the ground in a fun loving way, that's fun, it's stimulating. Play fighting is fun, our pets do it, we use to do it, now the only time it's done when grown seems to be if apart of a professional sports league, but what if you're not? Not all needed affection is seual affection, people who think that are super dumb to me and not developed. Wrestling around, taking soft jabs at one another is just what guys, and some gals, like to do. But in this over sensitized society of ours if you do that, people think you're all serious and all. Prude people have taken the fun out of many things in our society, and just make people feel more and more alienated and isolated. |
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Post by X factor on Nov 17, 2020 5:15:24 GMT -5
The reason why society, and this younger generation is so violent, is cause they weren't raised up with enough play.
Play allows for that 'middle ground', when we play, we learn it's OK to lose, and that just because we lose, doesn't mean the world ends.
People who did not play while growing up are the types that get offended over the smallest things, and on the streets that equates into shootings, lots and lots of shootings, cause the people doing the shooting, when younger, never 'played' much, never had that older brother to pin them to the ground and then tickle them into laughter.
That's what was fun about my childhood is there's was lots of play, we played around a lot, tickled on another, learned to laugh.
And there was nothing sual about it, and people who don't understand that are sick to me and have destroyed many lives by making things so gd serious all the time.
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