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Post by X factor on Nov 20, 2020 17:14:09 GMT -5
A casualty of drinking is that I created a new site, for 'older people', and now that sober, for the life of me cannot find it, forgot to write down the http ect bs.
Now I can't find it anywhere, and it was such a good site that catered to older people, older types, but cause I was drunk, did not write down details of site, and so now lost forever, will have to recreate a similar site...so much lost time and energy..d+mit.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 1:43:52 GMT -5
I'm drinking again and it sucks, absolutely sucks! I'm drinking again and it sucks, it absolutely sucks cause I know it's so wrong. I was doing so well for a while, I thought the struggle was over, but obviously not. The only thing that can save me really is 'work', as much as I hate working, but when at work, or work for like 3 days in a row, I don't drink, have no time to, and that's maybe the 'break' I need to get back to my senses. Talk about a ugly tomorrow, work vs drinking, two monsters that are before me, but maybe one monster can help me run away from the other monster. Just be glad you're not me right now.. Alcohol just won't let go of me, just when I thought I was done with it.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 1:47:02 GMT -5
I'm drinking again and it sucks, absolutely sucks! I'm drinking again and it sucks, it absolutely sucks cause I know it's so wrong. I was doing so well for a while, I thought the struggle was over, but obviously not. The only thing that can save me really is 'work', as much as I hate working, but when at work, or work for like 3 days in a row, I don't drink, have no time to, and that's maybe the 'break' I need to get back to my senses. Talk about a ugly tomorrow, work vs drinking, two monsters that are before me, but maybe one monster can help me run away from the other monster. Just be glad you're not me right now.. Alcohol just won't let go of me, just when I thought I was done with it. If you hate drinking so much, or it's effects, than why don't you just stop? |
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 1:48:09 GMT -5
I'm drinking again and it sucks, absolutely sucks! I'm drinking again and it sucks, it absolutely sucks cause I know it's so wrong. I was doing so well for a while, I thought the struggle was over, but obviously not. The only thing that can save me really is 'work', as much as I hate working, but when at work, or work for like 3 days in a row, I don't drink, have no time to, and that's maybe the 'break' I need to get back to my senses. Talk about a ugly tomorrow, work vs drinking, two monsters that are before me, but maybe one monster can help me run away from the other monster. Just be glad you're not me right now.. Alcohol just won't let go of me, just when I thought I was done with it. If you hate drinking so much, or it's effects, than why don't you just stop? Cause when I stop, my emotions get the better of me, and I have no one to hug me, to make me feel better, so I start drinking again...woh is me...I know I'm only hurting my own health. |
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 1:52:14 GMT -5
I'm both scared of being sober and drunk, cause when sober, don't always feel as good as I think I should, but when drunk always feel worse, Oh I'm so doomed, I see no 'light' right now.
Tomorrow will be 'hell'.
Oh well...maybe me writing about it can help others.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 1:59:07 GMT -5
And then when I get drunk I get all weird, like the Incredible hulk in reverse or something  I'm so doomed unless I stop drinking, I don't want to turn into Bruce Jenner...
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 2:15:39 GMT -5
And then when I get drunk I get all weird, like the Incredible hulk in reverse or something I'm so doomed unless I stop drinking, I don't want to turn into Bruce Jenner... What exactly do you mean by that?...please explain... |
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 2:24:26 GMT -5
And then when I get drunk I get all weird, like the Incredible hulk in reverse or something I'm so doomed unless I stop drinking, I don't want to turn into Bruce Jenner... What exactly do you mean by that?...please explain...  This is what I mean!!, look at my feet, when I drink, I'm like the incredible hulk in reverse, suddenly my feet get all soft and all and I think I'm Mary Popkin's or something tip towing through the tulips , please help me put down the bottle...please. (I wanted the Rod Zombie movie 'House of a 1000 corpses version, but since age restricted only viewable on YT)..so will settle for this geeky version of tip toe thru the tulips..darn) |
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 2:30:25 GMT -5
How the hell is a Rob Zombie video of scene from 'House of a 1000 corpses' to be age restricted when today you have 13 year old's playing video games and blowing people up in game, that's far more violent than any Rod Zombie movie??
Nothing makes sense anymore.
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 2:33:37 GMT -5
Hell ye, Rod Zombie movies seem humble compared to what I see on TV these days, or here in rap lyrics or anywhere else in pop culture, what geek on You Tube decided that a Rod Zombie scene of guy blowing the brains out of a _____ should be age restricted, when same scenes played out on video games.
Who the hell is in control of this world??
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 2:38:42 GMT -5
And then when I get drunk I get all weird, like the Incredible hulk in reverse or something I'm so doomed unless I stop drinking, I don't want to turn into Bruce Jenner... Heck, that's nothing pal, try being a person of color and doing the 'Incredible Hulk' in reverse thing, I to suffer that same phenomina, or however spelled. I mean like you, when I drink, I get all goofy and stupid, maybe we both should attend AA.  And when I turn sissy, do to drinking, them boys in the hood be chasing me all over the place. Like you, I am so doomed, unless can stop drinking. |
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Post by X factor on Dec 3, 2020 2:52:49 GMT -5
Do crossdressing, drunk, LGBTQ ghosts exist? \
I mean if people are LGBTQ while alive, why wouldn't they be so in ghost form?
Has anyone ever asked that?
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Post by X factor on Dec 21, 2020 14:26:07 GMT -5
Alcohol, the seductive trap Alcohol the seductive trap is once again getting the better of my time, I was going to volunteer my time to help others learn how to read, but then when off work, beer took over...good heavenly grief. And when you start drinking it saps you of your energy between drink cycles, energy and enthusiasm to do anything other than drink again once you feel better. I was going to volunteer my time, maybe even at a homice center, or at a Library helping to greet people, anything just to break my isolation, but then, damit, alcohol got in the way again. Work is the only thing that really saves me, cause when working, I don't drink for how ever many days in schedule. But then get off of work, feel so depleted of life, that, yep, start drinking again to 'hurry up' the good feeling of being off, and thus the cycle continues. What I need is to be in a relationship, maybe go to AA and meet someone, but sure if I do there's just be a bunch of grungy looking people who look old and wore out, which would further depress me. When I go out, I always try to look my best for my own moral and the moral of others.
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Post by X factor on Dec 23, 2020 13:44:43 GMT -5
Alcohol stole yesterday from me
Alcohol stole yesterday from me, I was dumb and drank a drink I normally would not..'Van Gogh' or something like that which came in small glass bottle but was Express drink, sure it was fine while drinking it with other stuff, but let me tell you the post drink drop off sucked.
I woke up next day feeling like I was hallow on the inside, like I didn't even have a soul.
It's not good to combine alcohol with caffeine, at least when you get older.
I can remember when I use to go out years ago, seeing bartenders combine redbull with drinks, and them young folks gusling it down, well I bet you they can't do that today....totally not good for you, confuses your heart and other organs when take a depressant and a upper like caffeine, anyways lesson learned, seems I just keep learning lessons.
Life becomes your parent after a while.
That aside, other than feeling a bit 'weak' from laying around so much the last 3 days, my respitory system feels fine, meaning no cold symptoms, it's usually when I go out into the public and buy stuff, food, that I may get cold symptoms now and then.
But when I just stay home, whether I drink or not, my health is always near perfect.
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Post by X factor on Dec 25, 2020 19:43:54 GMT -5
This real life documentary 'Oxyana' will really make you see the depth of addiction in the U.S.
This section here about alcohol addiction, but the film is about drug addiction.
Sure, different substances, but will still make you think a lot about what you decide to put in your body.
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