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Post by X factor on Oct 29, 2024 0:24:41 GMT -5
Also, if I just stopped drinking, I wouldn't look half bad for my age. I mean beer really puts on the weight.  |
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Post by X factor on Oct 29, 2024 22:43:09 GMT -5
I wonder how many of the stories on here, stories, moments carved out of real life, is __ stealing?
Mimicing, just cause it can.
Over a decade of day to day grit, that ___ could steal and map out in seconds...and I'd never know, cause whatever.
Anyways, thinking about it could drive me mad, so I won't.
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That aside, I took a nap earlier, a night nap, and when I woke up, and laid there in bed, it felt like I had drank.
I just had that drunken type of after feeling, the way you feel when you drink, go to bed, then wake up for a bit. The only problem is that I didn't drink, but like my body was so used to me drinking that whatever.
I'm no scientist so I can't explain it.
But I didn't drink, and glad I didn't drink, cause life is tough and rough and uncertain enough and tragic enough when sober, let alone when drunk.
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Post by X factor on Oct 30, 2024 12:20:28 GMT -5
I literally feel like a biological hot rod right now...simply cause I've been working out consistently lately and not drinking as much...and I'm still not in athletic shape.
I mean my gosh, what a biological monster I would have been had I played sports when younger....and never drank.
Although I actully never started drinking until early 30's, believe it or not, is probably why I'm still so healthy cause I started drinking way later in life after body was already developed, is my guess.
And I never did drugs, that helps to.
Nor do I do prescription drugs, heck no.
But anyways...I got all this revved up natural energy now, so what do I do with it?
Time is moving by way to fast.
Already worked out today, and just came from the DMV, where I for the first time ever, bought a personalized plate, not the lettering, just the plate.
I think I need to go to the post office next and get a P.O. Box, again, in case I end up moving.
Cause you can only get a P.O. Box if you have a physical house address, for some odd reason.
But if I move, and already have the PO box, it won't matter, I could be homeless and still have access to the box.
And I'd rather be homeless and alive, than go back to what I was doing before, which was driving, and being hidden inside the cab of a truck for dreadfully long hours at a time.
I've never felt so alive since quiting my last job.
I'd get off work feeling oh so miserable, no one would talk to you, talk about a grim work environment.
Would literally rather be homeless and alive, and clean, than go back to that.
Anyways, not homeless, so still rent to pay here soon and other bills.
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Post by X factor on Oct 31, 2024 14:13:59 GMT -5
Drinking really throws you off your game.
You can't drink and expect to progress at anything.
Drinking is for when you've already made it to the top.
But if you drink while trying to get to the top, you'll never make it there.
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Post by X factor on Nov 7, 2024 19:03:23 GMT -5
I started drinking earlier...maybe 3 beers, but instead of continuing, I cooked up some potatoes and ate those instead to supplement that drinking feeling.  In other words those softly fried potatoes satisfied that thick gut feeling beer would normally give me...and I'm glad, cause drinking till smashing drunk is not something my body needed tonight, or me. |
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Post by X factor on Nov 10, 2024 1:12:19 GMT -5
You can't beat alcohol, sorry, you just can't, not by drinking it anyways.
Alcohol will win, eventually it will win, especially if over the age of 40...the same with drugs, drugs will break your body down and win every time...don't fool yourself.
Our flesh is no match against the destructive power of booze or drugs.
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Post by X factor on Nov 14, 2024 7:45:30 GMT -5
Energy is coming back, but what do I do with it?Haven't drank in a few days, energy is coming back, health is coming back, but what do I do with it? Dumb question if you're a normally adjusted person (Is anyone truly normal or properly adjusted though?) That aside, yes, my energy is surging back, but my mind is still stuck on stupid. Now that not drinking, I wake up earlier which means I'm awake longer which means I get tortured more by my current reality and by my past stupid as hell decisions, many of which I made while drunk. I have no friends, no one to lean on, so what do you expect me to do but to dwell on stuff at times...writing helps, for sure. And later, going to take car to shop to get wheels balanced...that sucks, cause the minute mechanics touch your vehicle, it's never ever the same. They always fail to put a part back, or put a part back wrong, and then claim, like the devils some of them are 'Err, it was already like that'. But I have no choice cause vehicle was vibrating more so than it usually does. Life sucks. Life doesn't suck, but man and his rules, his ways do. Anyways, I'm awake now, so life, the devil, God, people, society, ghosts, spirits, gremlins, bugs, and anything else can begin torturing me now, cause I'm awake. 
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