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Post by X factor on May 30, 2021 0:55:12 GMT -5
I wish I had someone, a friend, anyone, a mate, to snatch phone from me hand when drunk and prevent me from making fool out of self, that days later have to 'face'  When drunk acted all tough, come Monday, I'll be pussy cat again. I think I need therapy. Yes, a good friend will hug and squeeze you and chastise you no matter what, not cause your perfect, but because your imperfect, if have such a loving friend or family members, consider yourself lucky. |
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Post by X factor on Jun 6, 2021 12:50:51 GMT -5
First off, you should not drink, but if do drink, might want to think about gluten free beer or spirits www.thespruceeats.com/best-gluten-free-beers-4776671 I mean after reading about the harmful effects of gluten, I then realized 'OH Heck!', beer has gluten in it, so immediately started doing research on gluten free beer, and also learned about how liquor that has been 'distilled' is also gluten free, like most types of Vodka ect. I mean I know it sounds silly, but if going to drink anyways, may as well drink as healthy as possible. Huh?
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Post by X factor on Jun 12, 2021 14:09:26 GMT -5
When a alcoholic, the only time you ever feel you must leave your place to go to the store is when short on beer or spirits
You could be starving, so what, as long as have beer and spirits in place, could need medical care, so what, as long as plenty of beer and spirits in place.
But minute suspect beer running low, on come the clothes, shoes, and out to store to buy more.
But heaven and hell can't get you to leave place, unless short on beer, or even tobacco, or whatever it is you may be addicted to.
So so sad when you think about it.
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Post by X factor on Jun 14, 2021 18:30:40 GMT -5
$25,000 dollars for a 30 day in patient alcohol treatment program, are you hobbitding me? I called a place, just for the fun of it, and after being persistent found out for a 30 day inpatient alcohol treatment program, it would cost $25,000 dollars for 30 days! Then came the 'Insurance stuff'. Do you see the sham or scam here folks? I can stop drinking for 'free' basically, just give me a bit of love, and with love comes accountability. I should, but will not leave the link to this 'site' or 'program', cause the lady I spoke with, way low on the totem pole, did mean well....not here fault she's caught up in corrupt system. But my gosh, $25,000 dollars for a 30 day in patient center, where you like live there, like in the movie 'One flew over the Cuckoos Nest'  I guess they figure only millionaires struggle with alcohol, but if told you city they're located in, you'd might agree. My gosh, Hell, I should start my own alcohol detox business and would charge way less. Hmm To be continued.
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Post by X factor on Jun 26, 2021 12:22:12 GMT -5
Utlimately I don't think it's alcohol that determines whether or not your happy, or sad or this or that, ultimately I think its' ones over all quality of life, which is effected by your own decision making skills, and also those your either lucky enough to be around, or not so lucky to be around.
I think if you drink, yet still sorounded by a ton of loving friends and family, or just friends, the love you feel from your friends will overide any negative effect you get from alcohol.
But if alone, and or around without family or friends, than there's nothing to counter the depression effects alcohol can sometimes have.
But ultimately I think if Loved, around loving people, get hugged daily, ect, than I don't think alcohol will have that big of an impact on your life, that is if a 'normal' a few beers a day type of drinker.
I'm not talking about hardcore liquor, drink till you pass out type of drinker, that's a whole other discussion there.
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Post by X factor on Jul 4, 2021 11:55:02 GMT -5
Alcohol rehab places have become a money racket
Had some alcohol rehab place call me the other day, I must of called them when drunk, cause when drunk I call a lot of numbers just to blab.
So I guess they called me back, at first thought they were sincere until started asking about 'Do you have insurance'.
Then I saw right through the whole thing, they didn't care about me, they wanted that insurance money, so could probably charge 10,000 dollars for a few weeks of rehab, what a sham.
To be fair did not ask the price, but one place I did ask price to said like $23,000 dollars for like one month of in house rehab..no wonder they want you to have insurance, again, a money racket.
And then they use former alcoholics or former drug addicted types, to make the calls to recruit to the scheme...to make it seem more genuine.
Spending $23,000 dollars for a month of rehab would actually make me even more depressed, if I had that type of dough, would rather put it on a house or land, or buy new Dodge Challenger, something tangible I could touch, but to just blow $23,000 on a month of rehab, what a waste of money, but that's why they want you to have insurance, that way I guess you don't 'feel it' as much.
Then 3 weeks later you start drinking or doing drugs again, now you've just let them sucker you out of $23,000 dollars, and no refund.
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Post by X factor on Jul 4, 2021 12:44:30 GMT -5
I was going to go out to buy some booze, but now I'm like 'Why should I?'
I think today, I want to explore sobriety, with all it's ups and downs.
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Post by X factor on Jul 4, 2021 13:03:20 GMT -5
I think if trying to kick the drinking habit, it's best to leave a 4 pack of beer in your place, rather than empty house of all alcohol, cause what happens is you convince self you're not wanting to drink simply cause no alcohol in place, so what happens is end up 'panic buying'.
But if leave 4 pack in place, see it daily, and still convince self 'nah, don't need it', it changes the dynamics.
Believe it or not, the longest I ever went without alcohol was when did just the above, I left a few beers in place, but never touched them, and it made me feel like it was my own choice to stop drinking, rather than not drinking just cause no alcohol in my face.
Look, free advice and it didn't cost $23,000 dollars
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Post by X factor on Jul 4, 2021 13:15:55 GMT -5
Also, for psychological reasons, never tell yourself you're trying to 'quit' drinking, that will be to much of a burden psychologically.
Don't see it as some contest, like how long you can hold your breath type of event, or you'll lose.
Rather cut back gradually, but that way if say have a beer, 3 days into sobriety, you don't just give up and say 'oh what's the use, may as well dive back in full steam ahead'.
Really, just don't tell yourself nothing, just gradually stop drinking as much, soon, just one beer a day will seem like a whole Keg, and soon half a can of beer will get you stoned, and soon after that, you'll be like 'Why do I even need this anymore.
But never tell yourself you're quiting or totally quit, or just setting self up for next big fall.
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Post by X factor on Jul 4, 2021 13:27:56 GMT -5
Today, I think I'll fill my body of with nutrition and caffeine instead of alcohol, I think body absorbs nutrition better when no alcohol in system
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Post by X factor on Aug 23, 2021 20:59:22 GMT -5
Drinking when older, some advice
One thing about drinking when older, when the body says 'stop', that means stop, cause if you drink even a couple of sips more, you'll get sick, vomit, whatever.
When you get older and drink, listen to your body and when your body says 'stop', than stop.
No means no..lol or vomit out loud.
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Post by X factor on Aug 27, 2021 23:00:25 GMT -5
Yes, I still drink, but what I've done is cut back on alcohol content in beer.
In other words I was drinking that high alcohol content beer for the longest with like 8% content, or 'high gravity'?
Now I've gone back down to the normal 4-5% beer and can feel the difference, it's like drinking water.
But ye, the battle still continues, right now beer is winning, but ever so slightly declining.
If you don't have 'Love' to replace beer, it's hard to stop.
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Post by X factor on Sept 1, 2021 18:43:05 GMT -5
I drink alone
I drink alone, like that one classic rock song from the seventies.
I drink alone, I act a fool alone, but can't imagine if younger, more cute, more fem, regardless of gender, and going out and drinking around others and acting a fool, then waking up and not knowing what you did, who may of landed on top of you, and ect.
You hear about stuff like that occurring mainly in college, but can happen outside of college as well.
I haven't been out in years, I haven't gotten drunk around anyone in years.
I haven't done a lot of things in years.
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Post by X factor on Oct 18, 2021 10:03:24 GMT -5
I will always say this
And that is it's better to make a fool out of yourself while drinking at home, behind the computer key board, than to make a fool out of yourself while out there in the public, at a bar, club, or while driving.
When you make a fool of yourself behind keyboard, no big deal, but when you make a fool out of yourself out on the streets, people can get hurt, you can get hurt, and the consequences can have life long effects.
If I'm going to drink, I'll take drinking behind the keyboard at home any day over drinking out there on the streets.
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Post by X factor on Oct 19, 2021 11:23:35 GMT -5
I think there are times, years, moments, where I'd of rather died while drunk  Looking back, I think there are years, times, moments, when I'd rather have died drunk, than sober and hopeless. Those moments when hyper drunk, and the energy is there as well, those moments in the past when while in that state, felt, was, fearless, joyful, happy, explorative, boastreous and more, when not even death seemed scary. In those states of drunkeness death is almost all but welcomed, cause even while drunk in that state, you realize deep down inside that drunk or not, death is coming for ya sooner or later. I mean is there really a good or proper way to die? Is it better to die sober and sane vs dying while super drunk, stoned, high, and insane, which is a better way to die? At least in the latter state, you're not carrying, and as far as you're concerned just going into some deep sleep, and that's it. But when sober and in proper state of mine, there is no bending reality, you just lay there knowing you're dying, how is that peaceful? Death cannot be rationalized, death is irrational, so why not be in a irrational state of mind when dying? ------------------------------------ I don't know, just tossing stuff out there as I once again go 'dry' for a while, which feels almost like death to me, cause mean I have to face stuff I cannot solve. But this is always how it is when trying to go dry for first time in months, it's always scary at first cause there's no escape, no where to cuddle or hide your emotions...the bottle is good at that. But at the same time the 'bottle', makes you do odd things you might not have done if sober. Actually this runs true for a lot of singer, rappers, painters, artist in general, often when you read their biographies they'll tell you their best performances came when they were in a chemically altered state, Rocker Ted Nugent probably being one of the few exceptions to that rule. Ozzy, Jimmie Hendrix, Andy Warhal, Old dirty 'B-stard' (Wu Tang Klan), now deceased, all performed, created, while in altered states of mind, and could name 1000's more who get up on stage drunk or stoned or both. Not saying that's good, just saying it's not unique to 'me', or anyone reading this. Even many Senators, Congressmen, walk around the Halls drunk, if you read their biographies. We just live in a world where people like to be in a altered state, and then add in prescription drugs, pain killers and blah blah blah, even millions more get swept into the altered state reality. What makes some stop?, usually when medical issues arise that cause 'pain', discomfort, or super publically or privately embarrassing moments. I stop because still healthy, but what if day comes when find out have terminal illness, then is there a reason to stop? Depends on if loved by anyone I suppose. Or how much love self, I suppose, or how much one thinks 'God' loves self, which is basically 'self' in a different form. But like the picture above, like I wrote above, sometimes just wanted to lay back, give in, and let death or darkness have it's way...not today though, not today and not yet.
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