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Post by X factor on Jan 22, 2022 20:24:15 GMT -5
Alcohol is the worst fake lover ever.
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Post by X factor on Jan 22, 2022 20:30:56 GMT -5
Drinking is like being the incredible hulk  Drinking is like being the incredible Hulk, I mean alcohol gets you all bulked up, it's you, yet it's not. But have to make a decision after a while to just stop. It's not that you hate your drunk side, but you realize you can't sustain that side without risk to your physical and social and even mental health. It's hard to let your hulk/drunk side, or drinking side go, it really is, sad almost, but like Bruce, you have to make a choice. Life is sad period.
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Post by X factor on Jan 22, 2022 20:35:29 GMT -5
Drinking is like being the incredible hulk Drinking is like being the incredible Hulk, I mean alcohol gets you all bulked up, it's you, yet it's not. But have to make a decision after a while to just stop. It's not that you hate your drunk side, but you realize you can't sustain that side without risk to your physical and social and even mental health. It's hard to let your hulk/drunk side, or drinking side go, it really is, sad almost, but like Bruce, you have to make a choice. Life is sad period.
My drunk side has opened many doors, mainly artistic doors for me, my sober side, to explore.
I like all of my sides, drunk or not, but for now, I just need to stop drinking if I want to make some real progress in life. |
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Post by X factor on Feb 13, 2022 19:03:07 GMT -5
I've been seriously sober now for over two weeks, here's my take Been sober now well over two weeks, but as I sit here, do I really feel any better? No, I don't, not emotionally, which makes me wonder if drinking also takes a toll on the mind? Obviously it does, it has to, since the mind is the main thing alcohol effects, I mean we drink so that our minds can spin. Not sure why that's such a wonderful feeling. As you age, it becomes more of a sickly feeling than a wonderful one. ------------------------------------------- But I wonder what drinking over the years has done to my mind, my thoughts? Can I be happy without alcohol in my system? Can I focus long enough on anything to get anything meaningful done without being drunk? I don't know, I do know I never thought being sober feels more like an experiment than a reality.
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Post by X factor on Feb 13, 2022 19:14:16 GMT -5
Here's a more clinical answer to what to expect after being sober in the first month www.lantanarecovery.com/first-month-of-sobriety-what-to-expect/ But what I hate about clinical articles is it's always from the point of view of some 'expert', rather than first hand account of the drinker themself. Here in the Zone, Alcohol can be a Seductive Trap, you get first hand, first person, accounts of what it's like to battle alcohol dependency, not some clinical 'expert' telling you what they think it's like. It's why I prefer the Zone, or any other place where you can by-pass experts and just hear from real people, real accounts, real struggles.
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Post by X factor on Feb 13, 2022 19:20:07 GMT -5
Here's a more clinical answer to what to expect after being sober in the first month www.lantanarecovery.com/first-month-of-sobriety-what-to-expect/ But what I hate about clinical articles is it's always from the point of view of some 'expert', rather than first hand account of the drinker themself. Here in the Zone, Alcohol can be a Seductive Trap, you get first hand, first person, accounts of what it's like to battle alcohol dependency, not some clinical 'expert' telling you what they think it's like. It's why I prefer the Zone, or any other place where you can by-pass experts and just hear from real people, real accounts, real struggles.
They, or the article, aslo mentioned sensory overload, in that when drinking, deep though neurons are damaged, and so when stop drinking, all sorts of thoughts come flooding back into your mind which you now have to deal with.
That I kind of agree with, but more on an emotional level, not a neurological one.
I just think it depends on how hard one was drinking before they decided to quit, and or if doing other things on the side, like drugs, ect.
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Post by X factor on Feb 13, 2022 19:24:17 GMT -5
I despise those who call alcoholism a disease betteraddictioncare.com/what-to-expect-in-early-sobriety/ To me, drinking is a choice, a bad one sure, but not a disease, and I hate that excuse avenue for one to blame their addiction on. I started drinking because I wanted to, plain and simple, and can stop when I want to, plain and simple... If it were a disease, it would be out of my hands, like cancer, you can't just stop having cancer because you don't want it anymore. But drinking you can stop, put down the booze, and still live and function afterwards.
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Post by X factor on Feb 13, 2022 19:26:54 GMT -5
I despise those who call alcoholism a disease betteraddictioncare.com/what-to-expect-in-early-sobriety/ To me, drinking is a choice, a bad one sure, but not a disease, and I hate that excuse avenue for one to blame their addiction on. I started drinking because I wanted to, plain and simple, and can stop when I want to, plain and simple... If it were a disease, it would be out of my hands, like cancer, you can't just stop having cancer because you don't want it anymore. But drinking you can stop, put down the booze, and still live and function afterwards.
Screw that. |
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Post by X factor on Feb 13, 2022 19:29:58 GMT -5
Clinics and all that crap, are made for those who feel loved and precious.
'Oh I'm so precious, the world loves me', type of people, usually younger and cute looking.
But for the rest of us who don't fit that billet, nah, clinics aren't for us, we'd go nuts in a place like that, where the nurses would fake pretend that they actually cared, not having it.
Not all of us feel confident enough to allow others to actually care for us, that takes a lot of trust.
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Post by X factor on Feb 16, 2022 8:30:44 GMT -5
Really had self fooled  When it came to drinking I really had self fooled, told self that as long as worked out, drinking wouldn't have an effect on body....wrong! Sometimes that can make it worse, cause when you work out you tear down muscles, body is weak, and if drinking alcohol when body trying to repair self from workout, inflammation or other things can happen. Maybe not appearent when younger, but as age, yes, things change. Also, finally losing some real weight since not drinking now for over 2 weeks, maybe 3 now. The first 5-6 lbs of weight loss you can't really count, that's just beer or water weight, it's the pounds you lose after the first 5-6 that count. And I've done that. I'm going on losing 4 fake lbs and about 5-6 real lbs, as such feel soxier to self, and feeling soxier to self is what matters, not so much to others, but to self. Moral is very important in the battle against drinking, and when you start seeing positive results, it makes you not want to drink. Now it's time for work, darn.
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Post by X factor on Feb 21, 2022 15:27:17 GMT -5
Sobriety notes  If I were still drinking like I use to, I would not have had the mental energy to get up and out today and go out and promote stuff, I'd of had all the after effects of drinking the night before and would of just laid in bed all day, then when did get up, would of just started drinking again, since don't have to work tomorrow. But thankfully I'm not drinking like I use to, so have way more sustained focus and energy, thus I can get twice as much out of a day before mind just gets tired, maybe even more, maybe 3 times more out of a day. Cause when drinking all the time, I could only focus intensely on 1-2 things a day, and or would have to keep drinking to continue getting more and more 'alcohol high'. Anyways, for now that's in the past, not that I won't ever drink again, but probably not any time soon do to a health scare and all. If wasn't already in above decent shape for my age, I should probably already be dead, organs should have just stopped like that one comedian guy from the movie Friday. He was, I think, 55?, and his organs just shut down do to Methonal poisoning, or ethonal, which ever one is in alcohol. he just continue to drink to much as he aged and the result was he slowly poisoned his body. He was drinking quicker than his body could rid itself of the toxins. Could happen to any of us who drink, and does, probably 100's of times a day, we just never read about it in the news.
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Post by X factor on Feb 22, 2022 19:19:10 GMT -5
I gave some cans of beer, like 2 four packs minus one can, to a ragged homeless couple today.
You'd of thought I were their savior, the women wanted to hug me, and did, and then kept saying 'My name is Kimberly something', as if they used to be famous.
I tried looking their name up online and had no luck, Kimberly Florance Florence?
Then the guy said something about Justin Bieber, so I'm wondering if back in her hey day, before she become homeless and street, she use to run in celebrity circles?
You could, barely, see some of that 'glam' in her face.
She was 'white', and sadly drugs and the sun and the streets tend to be brutal on white skin, so she probably looked much older than she was.
You know that drug face, a 65 year old face on a 30 something year old body.
Anyways, at least I made them happy for a few hours.
I've stopped drinking for now, and just didn't need that beer sitting on my counter tempting me.
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Post by X factor on Feb 25, 2022 21:05:52 GMT -5
For so many years in the past, I'd come home on a night like this and just start drinking beer or small amounts of liquor, or both at the same time, which would cause me to quickly be whisked off into the realm of drunkness.
But now, no, cause I've stopped drinking, and now whatever I do when get in from work has to be mood based, not alcohol based.
But when sober, I often have the energy, but not the spirit to do whatever.
I do need a mind boost after work, but if have to work the next day, morning, drinking caffeine or a energy drink is a big no no, or will find self laying in bed awake at 3 am in the morning.
All that aside, I'm glad I've stopped drinking, for now, but still getting use to it.
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Post by X factor on Mar 7, 2022 14:26:20 GMT -5
I'm sober now, but in the past this would be a prime day for me to drink.
Middle of my days off, off yesterday, don't have to work tomorrow, recovery day.
A bit bored, a bit to serious minded, oh, in the past I'd be downing me some 4 packs right now and being silly and getting absolutely nothing done but at least feeling good about getting nothing done.
So why don't I do that now??
Health, and I realize how stupid it is to feel good for a few hours, if that, than crash for the next 14 hours or so with nothing solved.
Just not interested in that cycle at the moment.
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Post by X factor on Mar 10, 2022 22:27:29 GMT -5
the consensus is in, and finally, finally, this long battle may have finally been won, and that is I much more prefer my sober side.
I had one slip up a few nights ago, and didn't take long for my other side to come out, where I called people I normally wouldn't and just probably made a fool out of myself as usual.
One slip up over a month, not bad...but that slip up pretty much sealed the deal, and was all I needed to see or realize that sobriety is a much better path going forward.
Getting drunk for a few hours added absolutely nothing to my life or well being.
Wasn't the worst thing I could of done, but not the best.
I now know how to deal with anxiety and stress without booze.
This time I'm sure that I'm 98% done with drinking, just have no need to anymore, unless maybe on a first date or something and my date offers me a drink...then, well who knows.
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