|
|
Post by X factor on Mar 14, 2022 22:09:29 GMT -5
🤨 do you like your life more now that have stopped drinking, or less?  Well, to be honest, I was probably having more fun when drinking all the time, cause when drinking all the time I didn't have time to be sad, cause after drinking I'd sleep it off, but those long hours of sleeping it off were the worst moments, that sickly gut feeling where didn't feel like doing anything. 🤨Has anything gotten better in your life since stopped drinking? No, not really, at first you do feel better though, but after emotions settle down and in, can't really say I feel any better and for sure great things haven't started happening simply cause I've stopped drinking for now. 🤨What made you stop drinking? Medical scare, which turns out may of had nothing to do with drinking, but glad I stopped anyways, body needs a cleansing period, a long one, now I'm getting into the hatural herbal tea stuff, of all people who'd of thought I'd get into that type of stuff. 🤨Are you still tempted to drink at times? yes, the thought occurs to me at times, during certain moments during the day when I'd normal be hammered or getting there, but now it's just a quick thought and goes away just as quick. 🤨Do you think you'll stay away from alcohol for good this time?  I really don't know, and don't want to pressure self that way, it's just day to day for now and that's it. 🤨OK, that's all for now. |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2022 15:00:53 GMT -5
My mind tells me I could use a drink right now, to fill the void, to push me forward, rather than just sitting here in a numb stupor unmotivated to do anything on my day off.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2022 15:02:40 GMT -5
And with me, the herbal tea and coffee effect just wears off after a few days of doing such, then no longer zippy, but body finds that balance where mood is just 'plain'.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2022 15:04:35 GMT -5
Theorhetically I should be in a wonderful mood right now, but I'm not.
I don't even have a appetite, so the pleasure of eating is not even there at the moment.
Not sure what's going on with my mood.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Mar 21, 2022 15:06:00 GMT -5
Drinking is like truth syrum, and getting drunk brings the truth out of you, but in a rude way, and that's what scares me about getting drunk is that I start calling people I shouldn't, and saying things I wouldn't if not drunk.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Mar 26, 2022 18:42:45 GMT -5
In the past I'd be in a drunken stupor right now, but since no longer drink at the moment, going on around 2.5 months or so or less, I forget.
But now that not in drunken stupor this time of the day, I actually have to figure out what to do with the time I have in front of me.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Apr 3, 2022 17:49:03 GMT -5
Just got done taking walk over bridge over the water Why do I post that here instead of fitness area? Cause it's related to sobriety, that's why, cause in the past, the alcohol demon would of lured me in. But I've made to much gain to want to turn back. That's the thing about trying to keep fit, is once you see yourself fit again, you really don't want to give it up for nothing, not even boozing.  That's why I say being fit to and for self really does matter, screw if anyone else likes you or thinks you're fit or soxy, what matters is that you turn your own self on, and treat your own self as if you're dating yourself and would want the person you're dating to stay soxy and fit. And everyone has a different definition of fit. But my fitness ideal is being tall, slender and lean, not sickly lean, but fine toned muscular lean, with proper posture and all. But ye, normally in the past, I'd of been drinking today, and then feeling bad about it on Monday, or later tonight as I'd sleep it off, while waldling around in bed, or whatever it is I sleep on. Is my life perfect now? Hell no, not even close, I'm still single, still drive a older vehicle, still basically poor, rent is due, I don't enjoy my job anymore, people think I'm weird, and on and on, but not drinking sure does make me feel better and more confident. People who say drinking gives you confidence don't know what they're talking about, drinking actually shrinks your confidence...sure you'll feel more confident while drunk, but before getting drunk and after being drunk all your confidence does is shrink and shrink and shrink some more. I just wish I hadn't wasted so many years drinking. Don't get me wrong, I had some wonderful times while drunk, entered, created, situations I never would have had I been sober, but over all, had I never started drinking I do think my over all life would be more fit. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Apr 4, 2022 11:13:16 GMT -5
Public and social confidence has gone way up since I've stopped drinking Now when in public I can really command the attention of people, an audience, as my confidence has gone way up since stopped drinking. It's gone up cause now I know it's really me doing the speaking, and not the booze in me, and that matters. When I'd be in the public before, if or while drinking or between drinking, my confidence was really low cause While drunk, I knew inside it was the booze making me seem confident. And while sober in between drinking, I felt 'Oh no, I'm sober, I feel so small'.. Alcohol to me was what spinach was or is to Popeye the sailor man.  Like Popeye with his spinach, as long as I had my booze, my beer ect, I felt impervious to anything and anyone. But like the spinach, the effects would wear off, where as being sober never wears off.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Apr 8, 2022 21:20:52 GMT -5
When you're pretty much done drinking, finally get someone to possibly agree to hang out with you after work, and where do they want to go?.....a bar of all places, good heavens...😐
Here I am trying to quit drinking, drinking has dominated my life for the last decade, but have finally got the upper hand on it.
So, as soon as possibly get another to agree to just hang out as friends, what's the first place they suggest going to? A bar, you guessed it.
A bar, or drinking, is the last thing I'd want to do with another, after I've just stopped drinking.
I get stupid when I'm drunk and is one reason I don't drink in public or around others, not anymore anyways.
I don't need booze anymore to get excited or be excited about life or others, and the idea of going back into that booze mode, ugg, doesn't really thrill me.
Well, maybe they can drink, and I'll just have water or some energy drink, or better yet tea.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Apr 10, 2022 15:54:02 GMT -5
Continued from above post.⬆️⬆️
I still can't get over that, I mean of all the places to go, things to do, why the hell would I want to go to a bar and drink?
Drinking is what I do when alone, I drink cause I'm alone to make up for not having anyone to hang around with.
But if had someone to hang around with, duo energy, a bar is the last place I'd want to go.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Apr 10, 2022 15:58:38 GMT -5
People don't understand, when I drink, I get crazy, nutty, silly, wild.  I'm wild and boustrous as it is when I'm sober, but in a nice polite way. I don't need to get drunk if with someone, cause if anything the alcohol would get in the way of intimacy. And no, I don't mean romantic intimacy, I just mean getting to know another person and connect type of intimacy. I do not want to go to no bar, and if do go, they can drink, but I most certainly won't. |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Apr 20, 2022 21:30:43 GMT -5
I think this battle or even war, is about won. Not quite there yet though, but close. I've just now seen the overwhelming advantage of being sober vs being drunk and the effects drinking has on me. I'm mainly giving up drinking, not so much for others or another, since no one cares whether I drink or not. But I'm giving it up for myself, cause being sober and clean and clear minded gives me an edge vs not being so. I've seen the contrast, my moods, my health, and how drinking vs not drinking effects it all. Life is hard enough when healthy, how much harder when not healthy, especially do to something you or one could have prevented. ----------------------------------- I had a weak moment my last days off, and like revisiting an old lover you break up with, nothing ever changes. The same grungy room you left them in, well they're still there, alcohol that is.  You go back to that room, that old grungy room, thinking things will be different, but it's not. That alcohol spirit whoos you off your feet for a few hours, so you forget how grungy the room is, but when things settle, you wake up and realize the room hasn't changed, it's still grungy. Soon I want to put a lock on that hypothetical room forever. |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on May 2, 2022 23:02:33 GMT -5
I'm enjoying my sobriety I'm enjoying my sobriety, I'd be out of it right now if not sober, maybe even ____, the way I was going. I doubt it, cause I'm to smart for that, I mean anyone who pays attention to their body knows when to respond, and hopefully cares enough about self to as well. But I mean 1000's of people die every month who didn't expect to do to a variety of reason. I think with alohol it just sneaks up on you, liver wears out, other organs can become weak, and like maybe you drink to much one night, then eat some bad food and the combination just puts you to sleep perminetely. I think I came out of drinking as well as I did cause even though I drank, I still kept in OK shape, still worked out, but towards the end of my drinking, even that wasn't enough, I was fooling myself. I think the pain, is what really made me wake up, but the pain may not of had anything to do with my drinking and could of been a side issue, but still, the muscle pain forced me to just start paying more attention to my health, and being in pain will wake you up quicker than anything else, bring you to your senses. -------------------------- Well I'm not in pain anymore and really I've never felt better, at my lightest weight in a very long time, look better, feel better, but still make dietary mistakes now and then. Usually when I feel bad its when I over do stuff, like to much tea, caffeine, or when I drink sugary man made drinks, like 'Arizona's' energy drink.  Like I'd have to say stay away from this yellow colored Arizona energy drink. It's not natural herbal tea, regardless what the label says. Just read the ingredients and you see the usual suspects. Corn syrup, citric acid, this gum, that chemical gum and on and on. I was dumb enough to drink just a little bit of it while actually on the real deal natural herbal tea, and I just lost energy afterwards. Or maybe i just had to much stuff in my system. Either way, Arizona tea is one of the things I gave up months ago, and I do attribute that to my weight loss, and possible pain loss as well. It's complicated, cause everything has a string effect, like a eco system of harmful effects on our bodies, down to micro organs inside our body that give us an appetite for certain foods with certain ingredients that these micro organs crave. I don't have time to go into it, but am saying if I was still drinking I may not of noticed all this stuff in time to reverse it. Anyways, I'm fighting drowsiness right now, it's been a long day, I think I'm actually still recovering from Sunday, and or that Arizona tea. Artificial drinks are only good to place in smoothies, if going to set in fridge for a while, cause the preservatives in them will prevent your organic juice from spoiling to soon, but just a little bit.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on May 2, 2022 23:07:54 GMT -5
Did drinking make me more creative? Yes and no, there are many sides of myself that would not have come out if not for drinking, sides that were always there. I think we all have sides to ourselves that we never let out under normal conditions or when sober. I mean just go to any party where alcohol is served and you'll see what I mean, or even where drugs are served, and you'll see what I mean, so ye, we all have sides that drugs and alcohol tend to bring out that otherwise would remain dormant. Will continue this later, popcorn is ready. 
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on May 20, 2022 21:52:19 GMT -5
I think I was meant to drink myself to d--th, but since I didn't, and still here, now what?
I think fate is like 'now what, this person shouldn't still be here, we already wrote up their obituary, so now what do we do with them'?, says fate.
|
|
Well, to be honest, I was probably having more fun when drinking all the time, cause when drinking all the time I didn't have time to be sad, cause after drinking I'd sleep it off, but those long hours of sleeping it off were the worst moments, that sickly gut feeling where didn't feel like doing anything.
I really don't know, and don't want to pressure self that way, it's just day to day for now and that's it.