Soul Snatchers (Pre Death Sensations)

There's nothing fun about feeling like you're about to die or pass, as in thinking you're having a heart attack or some other medical emergency, there's nothing fun about it...nothing religious about it, nothing comforting about it, it's just pure dread and disbelief that it's happening to you.

And it's a very lonely feeling, can't think of a more lonely feeling than dying.

Sitting up now.

That soul snatcher medical condition just came upon me, so sitting up, cause if not feel as if heart will stop.
Like when I get real relaxed, this condition wants to like shut it all down, not sure how to explain it.

As if some virus inside of me that wants to just stop my heart from working, shut'er down, so to speak.

I know it's a virus cause I keep coughing up mucus as if have a cold, and hell no, it's not the 'C' word, it's something else.

I've had it before, way before the stupid 'C' word, but not this bad.

I think it has to do with drinking, caffeine, and inflammation.

I guess there's worse ways to die than having something that wants too shut down your electrical system.

If weak and unhealthy I probably would be dead by now, just another casualty of 'Hey, looks like they died in their sleep'.

But the problem is is that I'm not weak, and am healthy, is why able to fight it.

If I win this bout, no more drinking, that's for sure.

I wish I could just get some penicillin without having to go to the doctor.

All doctors do is take your money before you die anyways.

I think most doctors are way overrated.

Every one in the media is like 'Check with your doctor, do what they tell you'...why?!

The medical system is all screwed up now, why would I trust a stranger, someone strange to me, with my health?
I'm my own doctor, so to speak.

The only doctors I guess I value are like trauma type doctors, as in if you break your leg, or need stitches, stuff like that.

But why should I go to a person who's just going to soak me of a ton of money when body would heal on it's own anyways?

If nature says it's time to go, than it's time to go, why should I let a doctor first soak me, drain me of all my money, when if going to go, going to go anyhow.

Not only that but if ever went to a stupid doctor and they told me 'You only have months to live', then I'd take matters in my own hand.

But if don't know I only have months to live, will go on living cause mind doesn't know I'm or you're suppose to die.

Still here

I'm humbled, but not sure to be humbled to.

Don't know if I'm being toyed with by god, God, a god, the gods, or 'Thee God' himself.

Or maybe I'm being toyed with by the grim reaper, so to speak.



'Let them die, no bring them back, no let them die, no, nah, bring them back'

It's like being on the edge of life and death, life and nothing, life and obliteration.

Last night, or while it was still dark, I couldn't lay down, I could not sleep, body kept trying to put me in perminant sleep, so had to force self to stay away, could not lay flat 'or else'.

Could tell virus or whatever it is or was, trying to shut down electrical circut of body.

Could feel it concentrating around heart area, not the heart itself but rather as if weakining the auto muscles in chest area.

you know how when you sleep, you automatically breathe (not sure the medical term for that), well it's as if that circut was turned off and so if I slept, if I weren't making self breathe deliberately, that the breathing would stop cause this virus thing would thrust me into such a deep sleep that I wouldn't be able to recover.
It's occurred before, and while laying there suddenly get real light headed, while laying down, as if going to pass out.

It's a viscious cycle, but then like now, I do finally fade out, wake up, and it's gone.

And no, it's not my cardio cause I'm in decent shape, breathing is not an issue at all.

I know it's an infection do to inflammation, do to other dietary misteps.

Whenever you get mucus, that means it's an infection of some sort.

I know it is cause years ago did go to a walk in clinic when had similar experience and sure enough they took a test and said it was an infection, but never told me what kind....they gave me some penicillin and I was on my way and go better.

--------------------------------------------------

Well I'm still here, feel better, but always do in the morning if I make it through the night, but now kind of paranoid to eat anything, cause the wrong type of ingredients in food seems to trigger it.

But for sure milk is out, and a few other items.

I have no idea if bodies immune system has gotten the upper hand yet or not cause it's at night that it usually gets bad.

But for now I'm here and I guess will just be careful about what I eat today.

I don't feel happy or sad about it, I realize people die, 1000's die every single day, why should I be any different, but when alone, and feel it happening to you, you're not thinking about 'Oh well, it happens to others'...no, you're thinking 'Why is it happening to me'.

To be continued

Soul Snatchers



I guess I'm not as brave as I thought when it comes to being snatched out of this world.

And you'd think being snatched out through my sleep would be preferable over other ways to pass.

But no, it's the idea of just letting go, I guess, that I'm uncomfortable with.

It's why awake now and typing this, cause the soul snatcher or snatchers are there trying to pull me under.

I thought it was over, but tonight (I call the dark night, regardless of the time, if it's dark, it's night to me), but tonight, it's really playing with me, trying to shut me down.

And I stubbornly forcing self to stay awake, or try to.

You don't realize how rare life is, conscious is, until yours is being toyed with.

This guy looks like they're dealing with a 'soul snatcher'...wow



See how they clutch their heart or chest area.