|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 14, 2013 19:13:02 GMT -5
Hello, it's Friday... A friend or friends, should always, in the end, offer a voice of reason. They should help lift your face above the muck, not rub your face in the muck. They should talk you down from the ledge, not encourage you to jump. You have to be careful, when in a delicate state of mind, whom you listen to. But I do believe in 'spirits', and some times spirits can say things through others, that the person saying or suggesting, is not even aware of at the time, do to 'mood vunerability'... Time and distances means nothing to spirits...odd stuff. To odd to write about here. That's why it is so important to keep our vessels clean, cause a clean soul attracts clean spirits, and clean spirits always want to heal. Like Jesus, even though he was suffering...he still took time and effort to heal others, would set aside his own issues for the time being, to heal someone. If someone calls me with their issues and problems, my first obligation as a 'friend' is to help them see straight. Once I'm sure they're seeing straight, then I can share my own issues...and vice versa. Everything has to have balance...one has to heal, has to have the rational mind, while the other recovers. This applies to marriage, or any number of relationship dynamics. But if you have two sick people in a hospital room with no one to heal...then the lights go out. Someone always has to be the light bearer...  Like standing shifts...8 hour shifts...and when one gets tired, the other takes over. But both can't be asleep at the same time. Cause when both are asleep, the enemy sneaks in. The spiritual world is scary and all to real... |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 15, 2013 11:24:53 GMT -5
Pretend you are 75, laying in a nursing home unable to move... Suddenly an angle grants you a wish to be young again...  So now you're 20, 30, 40, even 50 again...a second chance. Suddenly issues you're facing today, right now, seem trivial, nothing more than bumps in the road, if that. Perspective is everything... |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 16, 2013 12:50:49 GMT -5
Hello...
Been napping...
Was dreaming about two rappers...the one who sings 'Flava in ya ear' 'Craig Mack'...and another.
Very odd abstract dream.
The dream ended with Craig Mack being wrapped inside of a UPS type shipping box, and me talking to him about how I heard of one of his songs.
Leading up to that dream was me jogging down the street wearing back pack...and jogging up on people.
2 guys and a gal.
They were casual fans of rap, like radio rap...and jogged past them on side walk trying to show off, then jumped, and like floated or hovered ahead of them, while they played radio rap music...
I was hovering like a Genie, only without the carpet...
I remember thinking my physical prowess could get me where I was going quicker than waiting on the bus.
Anyways...odd meaningless dreams in the over all scheme of things, however highly entertaining while in them.
I try to keep personal stuff out of here...
After a while you realize life is more about attitude, than the in consequential stuff that occurs on a daily basis in your life.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 17, 2013 11:39:52 GMT -5
I've also learned, you can't measure how someone doing based on good or bad events... Rather you measure how they're doing based on how they're holding up under those events... It's attitude. What I mean by that is every day can be like a train wreck for everyone.  The difference is some are in the spirit of mind to get through it, and others are not... It varies based on mood and support system. When your moral is low, you notice the train wreck more, when moral is high, you barely notice the train wreck at all. I realize, asking someone to talk about the train wreck, doesn't always help, it's better to always focus on more positive things, than to always discuss the train wreck all the time. Train wrecks in our lives, every ones lives, will continue to occur till death. There's just to many variables for train wrecks not to occur in life. We find comfort in those who help us take our minds off the daily train wrecks, and instead nurture us back to health. When we're alone, we focus on the train wreck enough as it is. Other people take our minds off the train wreck, or should. Everyone has train wrecks daily in their lives, rich people do, poor people, athletes, business men and women, teachers, politicians ect. We enjoy being around those who help take our minds off the train wrecks by helping us focus on other things. There's a difference between taking an interest in 'the person'...than taking interest in the 'events' in their life... Events are life less...events come and go, situations are fluid and always change. It's the person, the induvisual going through the events, we have to take an interest in, if we care about them. Anyways...wild online night last night...time to chill for a bit... |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 17, 2013 16:33:06 GMT -5
Hello, Not in a social media mood today. Last night was social media wild for me...so like after a wild party, you just want to chill the next day. Better to get wild online though, than to go out into the public, like at a club or bar and get wild. Cause when you get wild in public, at a club or lounge or bar, that's when fights break out. That's when you come home really embarraced, that's when if you do something really dumb, every takes photos with their camera phones. So at least online, you can only get wild with your words, while sitting on the couch, much safer...  On another tip, how can anyone take talk radio anymore...so dark and negative...those talk show hosts casts such a dark sower cloud over 'others'...such a broad dark cloud. They're like secular pastors, who get paid to draw people into their shows with drama. The way I figure I didn't create this world, this nation nor the laws in it, and as such, there's very little I can do to change any of it. I can really only change and influence myself. I need a quite vacation some where. Wish I could just teleport myself there, to a quiet spot. I don't even like to travel anymore, I just want to be where I want to be in like 2 seconds. The varying driver IQ levels of motorists, as they drive down the road, interstate, is alarming. No wonder there's wrecks and accidents every single morning in every single city across this land. And that concludes this post...back soon. |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 18, 2013 19:49:19 GMT -5
One of the most well written rap songs I've heard in a long time...about 'Tookie'...
Arnold S, was Governer at the time and could of kept him alive...
Tookie was on death row, and was the co-founder of the Crips...
But while imprisoned, changed his life dramatically, his perspective, and repented.
It's kind of sad...that's why I don't like delayed death row sentances...cause if you wait more than like 4 years, the person you put to death is different.
Tookie, if allowed to just remain alive in prison, could of possible changed, touched so many lives, the way no one else could.
Street people listen to those with 'cred'...and Tookie had 'cred'...but instead Arnold S, the Govoner of California at the time, denied is death sentence stay, and allowed the state to end his life.
And what has Arnold done since then, to make up the void, to reach out and help all the street hobbits, that Tookie was helping with his changed ways, and books?
What has Arnold and his class done since?, Other than cheat on his wife...isn't that a sin too?
Arnold condemned one man to death, while commiting adultery on his wife, they are now divorced.
Yes, Tookie did bad things when younger...but he changed, grew, and alive could of helped so many with his revelations and renouncement of violence.
But I guess the cops would rather just continue locking up young males of color, than to give them someone to look up to.
So few know what it's like to be black...to have your image hated before your even born.
Tookie knew...
I hate to see good men put down....men/women, who change, change for the better, put down, while worse who don't change, roam free...
Life is sad...this song is sad, yet beautiful and powerful...
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 19, 2013 19:24:31 GMT -5
Emotional life support...
That's what it feels like sometimes..
Or like being damaged, then fixed up just to survive another few weeks.
Like fixing up a car just enough to roll to next town, barely, where it breaks down going over a hill.
It's like even when an issue is resolved, you're so scraped up emotionally, that you can barely hold out until next anticipated crisis.
Each time you're able to rebound less and less...until there's nothing there and you want to just give up, surrender, rather than keep hoping things will some how work out and get better.
Almost like in the movies where someone gets injured, and the group wants to drag them alone...but the injured person is like 'no, just let me be...I can find more peace in my remaining hours or days, just sitting here quiet and resting'...
Sometimes that's what I feel like, you just want to sit, and not move anymore...
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 20, 2013 18:50:02 GMT -5
If only I knew now, what I wish I had known years ago...
But had no one to really tell me.
Like that it's ok to be selfish, when it comes to the development of your life. I'm not talking selfish in small things like sharing a piece of cake, or cutting the grass with mower, I mean it's ok to be selfish with the over all direction of your life, even down to where you choose to live.
Cause you hobbit yourself if you think others would do for you, what you go out of the way to do for others.
Bottom line, as soon as you're not in a position to give, you vanish on other peoples radar, even family.
Better for you to do your thing, live where you want, and be happy and well adjusted, than to sacrifice your happiness for others, just in the end to have them abandon you anyhow.
I've also learned how key environment is to ones prosperity...social environment, physical environment, even work place environment.
In nature, certain animals only live days, if removed from their natural environment. Environment is everything.
And some environments are literaly hellish...and it's no wonder some can't thrive.
Some enviornments are literally designed to snuff the living life out of you.
It's scary actually.
The devil has but one personality (as I wrote 'personality, guy on radio spoke it at exact same time...odd)...
Same personality traits, different environments..whether work, companion, marriage, the streets...
We tend to think more in terms of induvisual behavior, but spirit world operates more in 'pulse' or 'waves'...
A pulse of negativity, a wave of dishonest.
And this wave can flow through a whole community, a whole work place, a whole agency and so on.
People simply being tools of this wave of evil.
Exept those whom are truly good, honest, sincer and genuine, who abhere to a higher ethical value system.
It's all like an equation, I'm logically brought back to God, and the commandments by accident of logic.
You resist evil or being a evil person by choosing to.
Evil and flawed are two different things.
Flawed is someone who smokes or over drinks, or is late for appointments ect.
Evil is when ones actions are designed to hurt the well being of another.
Flawed people are just clumsy, or self clumsy...
Evil people, on the other hand, have hurtful intent behind their action or thoughts.
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 22, 2013 8:00:53 GMT -5
Evil is like a storm front, it's wide and broad and occupies large area all at once. When it moves in, it's more like a atmosphere, an environment, it smothers whole populations or square areas of space, occupied by people. It literally fills the air, and folks breath it in, and it takes control and starts to influence many. Those who aren't influenced are those who are principled, those who abhere to a value system that doesn't change, regardless of the weather. Those who trust a higher standard of conduct, other than letting their current mood guide them, or their flesh. That's why I'm not one to always say 'trust your inner feelings'...cause unless our inner feelings are measured against something 'good'...no telling where our inner feelings could lead us. Even in the world of science, measurements are important, calibration. Instruments are constantly being recalubrated to make sure they're still accurate. Same with our morals and value system, If we don't constantly measure, and weigh what we feel and say against a 'standard'...than our moral accuracy becomes questionable...and then often lead astray by odd forces...the storm. But another realization is that not everyone wants to be 'good'...not everyone wants to be 'fair'... That's why 'laws' are written...social laws, corporate laws, legal law and so on. Laws are an artifiscal way of keeping people 'calibrated' so that society can function in a civilized manner. But then there's internal moral law, which only we as induvisuals can regulate...the thoughts we think when alone. Back to original evil being a storm front premise. Evil is like an atmosphere, it's thick... It's influence is like a thick vapor placed in a room, where everyone breaths it, and are effected by it. Evil is very rarely singular, it's plural, like electromagnetic waves that move through an area...one person is never soley effected by it, many are. It's why behavior is mimicked...one person in a office isn't 'bad'...it's usually all in the office are 'bad'. All gangs are in this community, or this whole department is corrupt and so forth. It's like being lowered into a pool...the water itself is evil...you're emerged in it.. It's literally that thick, in a spiritual realm manner of equating it. It's a smothering environment that most are emerged in, and clouds peoples views of others, even effects movement, as being in the water does. Evil moves in on people, communities, offices, governments ect, the way it's moved in on the people in the pool. It's an environment, and unless you completely pluck yourself, or remove yourself from the environment, you'll always be wet, effected by it, cause it's just that pervasive. Unfortunatly most do not have the resources to remove self from such enviornments. So the next best thing is to simply be aware of what you're dealing with, the gravity of it. (and no, I don't mean stupid self serving partisan politics) (although politics as a whole, in and of itself is evil, how it teaches folks how to divide and hate others for the benefit of getting a stranger elected to office)...
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 22, 2013 13:12:14 GMT -5
My kind of writing is rare now days, in that nothing I write is 'monetized'...
I simply write as a hobby...not to make money.
But that's like pre-historic now...
I suppose there's a lot of ways I could monetize my writing...but wonder what that would do the genuine nature of what I write.
If I start luring people to what I write, only so I can earn money, what would that do to me?
Write now I'm 'pure'...and have no motive other than to express ideas...but as soon as there's a profit motive to do so...all that would change.
So some might say 'Ye, so what'....
Sometimes I say that to myself.
Everything under the sun seems to be about money these days, turning a profit any way you can...and writing can be looked at as 'labor'.
Right now writing is an escape, not sure If I'd want it to become a job.
I could always experiment and start a 'monetized blog'...or website, with a monetized twitter account.
I mean whether one earns money by selling their labor punching a time clock, or by selling ideas online...in the end it's still about money I suppose.
I don't know...I just don't worship money...even though everyone needs money, I don't worship it.
Nor am I pre occupied with trying to earn it all the time.
Oh well...we'll see...
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 23, 2013 18:47:15 GMT -5
Sometimes it can be scary moving forward, when you have no one holding your hand, hypothetically speaking.
The future can seem dark and uncertain at times, other times it can seem bright.
With man, and his system, I'm not sure there is ever really a bright future...
No wonder folks turn to religion in masses...cause religion at least offers hope, where man can't.
Even if it's imagined...it offers hope, a bright future.
Man offers a dark grave in the end and that's it.
And as you get older, you realize no one sees you for you...
Everyone sees you through a lense...
I lense of their own making, background and experience...
You start to realize surface appearance is way more important that character...cause no one responds to your character.
They, people, cast aspersions based on your cover.
As such you realize after a while, that justice can never truly come from man...cause man is flawed, very flawed, and can't look into the heart.
You begin to realize not everyone even wants to be right or fair.
That not everyone is interested in your personal well being...
Some secretly delight in your destruction.
Don't get me wrong...there are people out there who indeed are truly 'bad'...that's why the jails and prisons are filled.
But I'm speaking from the view point of 'good' folks, not bad or the criminal class.
Where can you go on this planet where there is no conflict amongst humans?
Where can you go where others don't cast sumicion on you, simply do to your surface appearance?
It's like you're condemned before you even do anything.
This applies to everyone, regardless of color or gender or religion...
No matter how peaceful you are, there's always someone, or some people, who want to disturb you, make war with you.
And if this is all there is, can be expected from man...can't say that I blame folks for turning to religion, or spirituality, for higher reassurance.
Whatever works, whatever gets you through this world sane I guess..
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jun 25, 2013 19:56:42 GMT -5
When is Jesus coming back? How long will man be allowed to go on? Stuff is getting thicker and thicker. Our lives more and more controlled.. The larger online sites become, the more the nature of 'Satan' they take on...become more sinister and obscessed with their data mining, collecting information about everyone, you habits, location and so on. I find if all quite sinister..how the bigger things get, whether companies or Governments, they all begin to take on same controlling nature. The same prying, data mining, paranoid nature. I sometimes wonder if you get to 'meet the devil' once you're net worth is like over 1 Billion dollars. Cause all these Billionares, that control everything, whether 'old money' or 'new money' (google)..they all take on the same nature, the same 'we know what's best for you' nature... This need to track others makes that whole 'Mark of the Beast' scenario in scripture seem all the more plausible now...  I mean when u think of it..that poster image isn't all that far off..with geo tracking in phones now. Google earth... Things are changing quick...Government is now forcing everyone to get health care...even people way out in rural areas on the edge of society... There will have to be a way to track everyone to make sure folks are compliant...to pay into this huge program to fund it. If everyone has to pay into it, than the Government will have to be more vigilant in tracking down folks with money or income. People with millions, don't don't have to worry...people who are poor do. If I had millions...Australia, Canada, Singapore, anywhere would be an option...but when you're poor, you're trapped. 76% of Americans living check to check...that's a recipy for disaster when things go wrong. And spells dependency on whatever Governing force takes over. I want away from all of this, can smell how toxic it is, can smell how all people are doing is earning money just to spend it again on basic survival stuff...designed so the bottom working class can't ever get ahead, thus always will remain captive. I wanna get away so bad...I think a lot of people do...but just can't. That's when u just have to make a move on faith. If you haven't made it big by now throw low wage laborious work, it will never happen...the systems not designed like that anymore. The only people who get rich anymore are those who either steal it, or those who are paid large sums of money all at once...like athletes who from day one sign multi million dollar contracts. Or CEO, who are paid $20 million a year to sit behind a desk... Or brilliant tech savy types who revolutionize things with their products.. But if one earns $30,000 a year...forget about it...one would have to earn $5 million just to save 1 million. It's not impossible though...low income couples with combined income and responsible spending, do better than single income folks. Anyways...like I started off saying, when is Jesus coming back? |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jul 1, 2013 15:12:11 GMT -5
I'm not in the mood to say or think anything mean or foul about anyone or anything.
Sometimes when I'm feeling morally inadequate, It makes me not want to criticize anyone else about anything, or listen to others criticize folks...particularly talk radio.
There really can be no moral perfection, when there's more than 2 people alive at the earth at one time.
It all really makes no sense at all, how everyone throughout history, always claims there's one god (ok, in modern history)
Well mainly in Judeo Christian and Islamic history, mainly cause these two religions have effected more people and societies than any other on earth.
Anyways...how through out modern religious history everyone claims one god, one set of principles and so on, yet since there's been more than 2 people on earth at once, conflict has always ensued.
Human nature and frailty just seems to trump any notion that God influences man.
And 'god' always just seems to be mentally or artistically created in the physical and cultural and political image of the person describing 'god'...
Even Islam is split up and divided into many sects cut along racial, ethnic, political and social lines.
Human interest, or self interest, always just seems to trump 'god'.
Whether 2 people on earth, or 2 billion...most people filter god through a 'self interest' screen first.
And then worship only the parts of god that don't inconvience self.
We all do it or have done it.
Some can admit that, others cannot...others are totally convinced that 'self' is god...that 'self' could be culture, ethnicity, color, gender, nation, politics even sports team.
Some people are so comfortable relating to god as 'self', that the idea that 'god' isn't self makes some very hostile and defensive, if brought up in discussion.
I think honesty is what keeps 'god' or any influence 'god' may have in man or people alive.
Being honest with self about everything right and or wrong.
Being honest with self about fears, and frailties.
And realizing that 'self' isn't immune to doing 'bad'...or maybe some would prefer 'sin'.
I realize something isn't 'right' or benefiscal to others just cause I want it to be, or just cause it serves my own self interest.
Enslaving another man, may be good for me, but I doubt it's good for the one I'm enslaving...but what man does is lie to self, and say 'Slavery is good for me, and my slave'...
And is one example of how morality always gets bent into the image of ones own self interest.
You can add anything to this list...abortion, gay marriage, natural resources, labor, ethnic pride, commerce and on and on and on.
Going to post this now and continue with it later...
|
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jul 13, 2013 9:17:39 GMT -5
 Hello there... It's Saturday...I've been kind of on vacation lately...but ready to get back to work, to working. Time off is only fun when you have millions to spend. Some people have so much money that they don't even have to worry about their balance, they just buy, travel, without ever worrying about going broke. If one has $50 million in their account...what's s trip to Walmart to them, or a plane ride to the Grand Canyon, or gas prices, or any other price of common things. It must be nice to never have to worry about whether you can afford things or not. To have so much money that money or lack of it, is never even on your mind. That kind of existence must put people on a whole different level. Your whole earthly existence would be more like a vacation, rather than a struggle. Expecially if you spend modestly. If I had $50 million...of course I'd get the basics.. 1. RV  With an RV I would set off and travel...just drive...and not worry about fuel prices or schedual. I'd tour whole country...while young. It sucks that so many have to wait until they're on the edge of death before taking the time to do that. 2. Boat  And of course a boat...something about traveling on water, seeing the shoreline from a distance, not having traffic around you...and just dropping anchor or drifting, that almost like floating on the clouds. In fact floating on water in a boat is as close as we can come to floating on the clouds without leaving the ground. 3.Small plane  My love for aviation has waned a lot over the years, however I think, know, being around a airplane, learning to fly one again, without the worries of budget and time, would bring back the love and thrill of it. A lot of things would be more joyous again, if one could do them without worrying about whether you could afford to or not. Oh well... It's Saturday, it's quiet...that in and of itself is priceless... |
|
|
|
Post by X factor on Jul 15, 2013 16:34:39 GMT -5
Hello Did some bike riding today. Fitness is important. The average person is very none fit, and not very agile. And thin doesn't mean fit or in shape. I'm talking athletic type fit. It takes effort though. I wish I never had to earn income again in my whole life. The exercise of earning income becomes dull and mundane after a while, grueling. Unless your super wealthy, or have a ton of credit, there's only so much you can do with weekly pay check cash. Nothing life changing, that's for sure. It gets old after a while, always trying to convince yourself that some day it will pay off. That some day just seems to get pushed further and further into the future. I went out last night...  Didn't really have a fun time...not sure what I was looking for. Some times it's the crowd you encounter...different crowds give off different vibes. Last nights crowd didn't do much for me...to cliquish. Outside of winning the lottery, just not sure what can really make me happy anymore. Winning the lottery simply represents freedom to me. Freedom of schedual... To be able to buy a isolated mountain or desert home, stock up on food for months, and just not have to deal with people you don't want to. A very controlled existence basically. Rich people enjoy a very controlled existence. Living behind estate gates, every aspect of their environment is controlled. They don't even have to shop, maids and butlers do that.  I could live in a place like this all alone...all alone...with a few pets...cats...cause I don't like dogs dumping on the grass. Some people are so fortunate that they don't have to live all clumped up around others, so so lucky. Oh well...back in a bit. |
|
