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Post by X factor on Jul 6, 2015 23:25:48 GMT -5
 Today I felt pulverized, not by any one thing in particular, just by over all circumstances, weaknesses and personal flaws. I felt pulverized. It was just a unproductive lost day, wasted on nothing. Accomplished absolutely nothing, yet time still keeps rolling along, and morning will be here again soon, only this time have to get up and go out. Felt useless today even to self, and sometimes starting to wonder what the whole point of existence is suppose to be? Humans evolved an intellect for what reasons? In the end how does having a intellect serve man any better than having a simple mind serves a rabbit? Regardless death and decay awaits. Sorry, just not in positive mood right now. |
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Post by X factor on Jul 17, 2015 6:20:24 GMT -5
Here there is a mood for everything, even when you feel pulverized by circumstances.
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Post by X factor on Jul 17, 2015 6:45:46 GMT -5
when all you can do is sit, stare and wait
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Post by X factor on Jul 19, 2015 7:18:08 GMT -5
 Without forgiveness there's nothing. |
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Post by X factor on Jul 21, 2015 3:46:16 GMT -5
Pulverized.
At night, when things are quiet and calm is the only time many don't feel pulverized.
Any time you're not in the machine, mans machine.
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Post by X factor on Jul 21, 2015 4:03:14 GMT -5
Can't believe the next day of mans cycle is almost here, how sickening.
It just never stops, the demands to produce nothing, just to give it all away and end up with nothing.
It's like nothing = nothing.
Many peoples lives have become nothing in this giant structure, cage.
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Post by X factor on Jul 24, 2015 6:00:36 GMT -5
Pulverized When the world just keeps kicking your butt, no matter what.
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Post by X factor on Aug 10, 2015 11:58:03 GMT -5
Today didn't turn out as bad as I thought it was, but day still not over...  I dreaded today, I dreaded every second of it, as I awoke last night and was enjoying the stillness of the moment. I dreaded today, thought it would be hellish. So far not as bad as I thought it would be, do to magical personality, luck, and who knows, maybe even a good positive decent 'God'...I don't know. I'm not one who claims 'God' is ever on my side, I don't use God like that. I watch the news, see the world suffering, starving hobbits, civil wars, people drowning, as such I'm not one to ever believe 'God' is ever looking out for just me, when there are so many others in more dire need. I'm not that self centered. But none the less, Day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But I still have a long way to go.
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Post by X factor on Aug 10, 2015 16:17:46 GMT -5
Today wasn't as bad as I thought, I need to learn how to relax, to realize that not all days are bad or full of doomed forecasted outcomes. When you've been pulverized for so long, sometimes It's hard to just enjoy a full day for what it is, hard to celebrate a victory that comes your way every now and then. Cause you're always expecting the ceiling to come crashing down.  |
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Post by X factor on Oct 26, 2015 3:18:08 GMT -5
Tomorrow approaches like a destructive Hurricane When tomorrow arrives, destructive systems, will put their hands on you, or try to.
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Post by X factor on Oct 29, 2015 5:43:54 GMT -5
What moves you forward when you no longer feel loved, or love anyone?
Even ugly people feel loved, have love in their lives.
Even ugly criminals feel loved, have love in their lives, have people who for odd reasons still care about them, send them stuff in prison, visit them in insane asylum.
Even ugly dictators with foul characters, who destroy the lives of thousands, even millions, even they are still loved and cared for by many or a few.
But what if you fit none of the above, yet aren't lived by one single soul out of billions?
What moves you forward?
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2015 18:58:01 GMT -5
When this is your only pathway forward Car shredders take something that was engineered to be an effective sleek machine, with a purpose, and at end of useful life pulverizes it so that it's no longer recognizable when it comes out other end. Life does this to people to, pulverizes them in all sorts of ways. Everyone has a unique way of being pulverized, like punishment catered to each persons worst nightmare or scenario. For some that could be loosing money, for others getting a divorce and watching family busted up, yet for others getting injured or ill, beat up, being humiliated, or a combination of all of the above. Or if in war torn area loosing all one has to terrorists, bombs, being tortured ect. Purpose of this is to broaden suffering beyond 'self', cause when focusing on 'self' to much can feel 'self' is the only one bad things occur to. It's why writing and or reading can be therapeutic in that it broadens the perspective. It's what a friend or trusted family member is suppose to tell you, but not everyone has that. Not everyone has any one who has any remotely vested interest in how they do in life anymore, whether they live or die. Live or die not just in a physical sense, but live or die in a well being sense also. One of the grosses feelings in the world is when no one cares what it is you're going through. .......................................................................................................... It takes a lot of integrity to suffer, and still remain a moral upright person, being or soul. 
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2015 20:26:23 GMT -5
Also, if you're going through bad stuff, if no one is going to help you, why even listen to them?
Words are meaningless, talking just to talk is meaningless, and when some are suffering, or feel like they are, the last thing they want is an audience, like the way reporters on TV pretend to be interviewee's pal, concerned, but they're really only gathering dirt, then put out ugly report about interviewee's interview following day that paints them in bad light.
It's as simple as this, if someone cares, they will help, if not they won't.
Anything else is simply entertainment to them.
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Post by X factor on Nov 2, 2015 20:31:06 GMT -5
One thing for sure though, and that is evil can never ever be an option, not if seed of light.
A good person will go down with their own ship, and send others away.
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Post by X factor on Nov 8, 2015 20:08:30 GMT -5
Tomorrow means absolutely nothing to me right now.
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