Today has been a very flat day for me, not joyous at all, and on top of that gotta work tonight.
Just not a very fulfilling day, nor was last night, cause I wasted a whole day thinking I was suppose to work, then find out wasn't after I got there, so wasted all day yesterday sleeping, and driving long way to job, just to have to turn around.
When I'm off, I just need to be off for days, a minimum of 3, in order to restore myself.
Just the act of getting up and going to work has become a burden to me, no job, within my skill set, is that exciting to go to anymore.
And in real life, most people lack the flair, characters have on TV.
I wish I had gotten into entertainment venue, where at least the people you meet at work pretend their exciting and about something....I'll even settle for a fake exciting person right about now.
I know, I know, it's all about attitude, but right now mine needs a reset, and that won't start until off work tomorrow for a few days.
And there's no such thing as giving up anymore, cause giving up can be more stressful than not giving up. 200 years ago you could 'give up', and just go live in the mountains, alone, like Grizzly Adams TV show character did, but today, if you give up, there's no place to go, every piece of land is owned or zoned, you'll be hit for trespassing.
And you can't just hunt and trap anymore, can't just set up a tent in an open field or forest, nope, will be chased off.
And if climate is hot, without a/c, that spells misery, or if cold, with no heat, misery as well.
Todays society, the way it's structured, you can't just give up and be left alone unless extremely wealthy, for if you do give up and already poor, you'll end up hating life even more living on the streets around the same type of people you fled from, the only difference is that they're homeless like you are.
I use to think checking self into a mental institution would be fun...I mean a bed, typewriter (thinking old school version of mental home, the kind you see on TV), food, TV, pool table and others to chat with.
But now days such places all shut down, thanks to groups saying how inhumane they were, so now most mental ill types end up in the penal system around hardened criminals.
So now, like you have the functioning alcoholic, you now have the functioning mentally ill, and they're everywhere.
I also remember when I was younger you'd hear the term 'Nervous break down'.
I remember here that term in the news, or parents saying 'such and such had a nervous breakdown'...you don't here that term anymore.
Cause again, without a facility to take you in, having a nervous breakdown is pointless.
I bet you over a million people would check themselves into mental help facilities if such facilities made available tomorrow, millions would flood in for a 'time out on life' session.
And now with everyone buying guns, do to Corona, watch suicides go up.
Heck, America's about to have a nervous breakdown collectively soon.
Today has been really annoying so far, it just feels like one of those 'off' days.
First internet connection problems, then functionality issues with movie maker editing software I purchased, then next thing you know the mornings gone, wasted on nothing.
Today just feels 'off' thus far.
Sometimes you feel as if certain people are just hired to watch you, to make sure that every little thing in your life goes wrong, to the smallest details, just to see how much it takes to make you go insane.
Like in the movie 'Trading Places' with Eddie and Dan, and how 'actors' were paid to mess up their lives all over a 1 dollar bet.
But with me it's like 'Oh, lets go into their computer and turn this switch off, then when they go to turn on light, make light bulb blow out, and then when they go to sink, make faucet valve break, that should drive them mad'.
Then you turn on the TV, and here comes the news updates, this many people shot, this guy shot, no suspects.
So now you have all these crazy shooters running around who never seem to get caught.
Then comes the Satanic depressing Corona updates, then comes the stupid commercials.
Then the TV scenes that always play into political correctness, like how come on TV, anytime a 'white' couple sitting down at resturant, how come there's always a black couple positioned behind them?
This occurs in almost every single Move, TV show and or TV commercial.
Whenever a white couple at resturant dining, there's always a black couple positioned behind them.
Who could be so stupid!!
'Oh, there's a black couple in the resutrant eating dinner also, so the resturant must not be racist'...
Is that what they want the viewer to think?
Then the Hitler or Darwin scientific stats on w vs b health and vitality.
Now according to Hitler or Darwin scientist working for National Public Radio, the corona virus seeks out black folks more than any other people on the planet.
The corona virus just knows who's black, I guess the corona virus has eyeballs and can fly, navigate towards any human they consider black...even though 'black' is not a scientific definition of human.
Like I said, today's just been off for me so far, and everyone and every thing seems hyper stupid.
If I were in the mountains I'd go take a hike right about now, maybe instead I'll go to the beach, I don't know.