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Today
Jul 24, 2023 11:26:57 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jul 24, 2023 11:26:57 GMT -5
Believe it or not, as crummy as I mentally feel at the moment, I think I'll go workout in the park, why not.
I mean I may feel morally down right now do to life circumstances, but none the less I'm still here, and so while here I'd rather be healthy and feel bad than unhealthy and feel bad.
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Today
Jul 24, 2023 13:03:43 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jul 24, 2023 13:03:43 GMT -5
⬆️⬆️⬆️ continued from above
Well, I did go workout in the park, how do I feel now?
Pretty much the same, but working out will make me feel better later.
Health always makes you feel better, even if a bit down and depressed.
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Today
Jul 24, 2023 18:07:27 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jul 24, 2023 18:07:27 GMT -5
Today I just wanna be lazy, eat, and get fat.  |
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Today
Jul 25, 2023 8:17:57 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jul 25, 2023 8:17:57 GMT -5
Today is here, what shall I do with it?
Or what will the day do to me?
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Today
Aug 2, 2023 19:23:34 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Aug 2, 2023 19:23:34 GMT -5
Today, hmm
It's been philosophically a bit odd.
I haven't had a drink in over a week.
Health and energy are coming back, like full steam.
I have to work tomorrow.
Knocked out some important stuff today on the 'to do list'.
And my energy allowed me to get a lot more done than I otherwise would have if had been drinking.
So how do I feel?
Just odd.
I like how I feel now, but regardless, we live in a world filled with bad evil people who would do others harm if they could.
I'm glad I live in a red state, cause say what you want about Rep's, at least they generally believe in law, safety and order, unlike what's going on in Oakland CA.
That whole 'defund the police' crap is destroying cities and lives.
I was never for that crap, cause I realize criminals don't care about your 'goodwill', they'll rob and brutalize you regardless of your good will.
Anyways, so ye, I feel decent right now, but there's always that looming sense of doom and dread in the background, knowing it just takes one out of control person to ruin and wreck everything.
Also, I don't trust myself to stay booze free, I need to though, but am I strong enough to?
The world is a scary place filled with scary people who have bad intent.
Feeling safe, feeling whole, being safe, is like only a temporary space or spot for most.
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Today
Aug 20, 2023 18:28:19 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Aug 20, 2023 18:28:19 GMT -5
I've done nothing today but clean the kitchen.
Haven't turned phone on, haven't gone outside.
Trying to recover from yesterdays drinking episode, but it rarely hits me this hard.
And there's lots I'm supposed to do tomorrow, we shall see.
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Today
Aug 20, 2023 18:29:59 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Aug 20, 2023 18:29:59 GMT -5
I really don't feel alive right now.
Or I just feel really detached, from myself and others.
I need to bounce back soon though, cause feeling this way is very non productive.
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Today
Aug 28, 2023 23:28:34 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Aug 28, 2023 23:28:34 GMT -5
I think it's still today.
I've had my phone off all day and stayed inside all day, and remained unclothed all day.
I drank yesterday evening and into the night, and well, it hit me hard today, as in it really altered my physiological mood or state of mind....probably cause I drank a bit of liquor with beer.
Either way, today was a bust, a perfectly good day was canned, cause I just had to drink yesterday...what a waste.
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Today
Sept 10, 2023 8:53:12 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 10, 2023 8:53:12 GMT -5
Today is here and I'm just not ready for it yet
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Today
Sept 11, 2023 16:52:03 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 11, 2023 16:52:03 GMT -5
Today really beat me up good  Today really beat me up good, just like tomorrow will, and the day after that, and that, and that. Life is just beating me up right now, no matter what day it is.
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Today
Sept 13, 2023 8:30:53 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2023 8:30:53 GMT -5
Today, the monster, is finally here  Today, the monster, is finally here. Oh what am I ever to do? Where's my white knight? I don't have a white knight, so I guess I have to be my own white knight, shield and protector all in one. Industrialized society can be very brutal at times, especially as you age.
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Today
Sept 16, 2023 8:06:03 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 16, 2023 8:06:03 GMT -5
I wake up today knowing ahead of time I'm going to get clobbered by life, from the time I leave my place, life will be clobbering me over the head with a sledge hammer.  |
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Today
Sept 30, 2023 9:57:08 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 30, 2023 9:57:08 GMT -5
Is it possible for me to derive any meaning from 'today'?
I'm trying my best to.
Gotta go to work, stuff floating around in my mind that I cannot resolve.
I'm poor, have no reliable friends...getting older now, don't like my job.
Is there anything stacked on my side today other than basic health?
Don't get me wrong, grateful for basic health, but in order to prosper, to be happy, we do need more than just to wake up breathing..
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Today
Oct 16, 2023 14:20:30 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Oct 16, 2023 14:20:30 GMT -5
What a terrible feeling day for me, got nothing done, drank yesterday, and while drunk booked a flight across the nation...dang...what was i thinking.
Terrible post drinking day for sure.
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Today
Oct 22, 2023 16:46:14 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Oct 22, 2023 16:46:14 GMT -5
Today, emotionally I just felt like a zombie  Today, not sure what happened...I was just zoned out all day, still am, only now I'm _____ a few, so whatever zest I have is fake..🍺🍺 But hey, whatever it takes sometime...I'd rather enjoy what's left of the day while ____, than to slump around in bed and not enjoy it at all. Either way, and one way or another, we all end up paying for our mistakes in the future. That aside, it's Sunday, I'm here, and that's about all I can say or express for now.
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