Can't sleep right now, and wish I could, cause have to get up later.
And when you're laying down, and can't sleep, it can be torture, cause your mind will take you places you don't want to go, your mind will take you to future and past scenerio's you cannot solve. You can't solve the past, 'today'.
But when you can't sleep, you mind takes you to places of unease and contention.
Also, when you realize how few people have 'values', whether in power or not, but when you realize how few people have values, it can be alarming.
I mean even people who preach 'Jesus', are morally corrupt, and don't even see it, cause it's their own special interests they're really worshiping, and just replacing 'self' with the name 'Jesus'.
'Jesus loves me' = I love myself
'Without Jesus, you're going to hell' = If you don't do as 'I' say, conform to my taste, you're going to hell.
Throughout the maturing of America, not sure how Christians have made things any brighter for those considered outcasts.
Christians, churches, went right along with all the social evils of 'this nation', and sometimes, most of the times, were the ones leading current 'racial' or 'social' hostilities, right from the pulpit.
'Black people are evil, thus saith the Lord', or 'Gay people are wicked, thus saith the lord', 'Liberals suck, thus saith the lord', if you have long hair, your a sinner, thus saith the lord', interacial dating is evil, thus saith the lord', a woman shouldn't wear pants, thus saith the lord, native Americans are savages, thus saith the lord, and so forth.
Just about all the evils of this nation, in the past, can be attributed to men saying 'thus saith the lord'.
Not just here, but around the world as well.
And if Government hadn't stepped in and established 'rights' for all, there would be none.
This idea that our rights come from 'god' is hogwash, tell that to the former slaves, or tell that to the people of North Korea, or the millions who lived under brutal post colonial dictators of Africa, or the millions abused under Stalin and so forth.
We're only as free as whatever current Government or Kingdom allows us to be.
God has nothing to do with how free we are, not in this world anyways.
Right now, all my rights, liberties, come from a man made, a human crafted Constitution, and bill of rights, without those two, I'd be cattle.
Anyways, just trying to clear thy mind of thought so I can lay down and sleep.
You go to the hood areas of any city, and you step into 'corner stores', especially if located near hotels, and you see the grudge of society, youth so messed up in the head, who can barely speak correct language, who have adapted this destructive mindset, and who'll never be employable....so as they age will either have to become criminals, or, well, that's about it.
Mothers who love them till they're around 10, and then turn them out to the mercy of the streets. America is infected, and 'equal rights', even for rotten people will be the demise of this nation.
When you work nights, it throws off your sleep pattern, and then when you're off work, you have to revert back to normal pattern, yet find self getting drowsy during the day, cause day normally night when you should be sleeping and things just get all mixed up internally.
Cause when off, it's hard to sleep all throughout the day, cause that's when you get stuff done.
Woke up at 3 am or so, did some stuff, was gonna try to fall back asleep cause could be refreshed by 8 am, but just laying in bed, and now feel like doing some chores, but then when, if, get sleepy again, it'll be right about the time I should be getting up and out.
I guess coffee and tea will solve that if need be.
Maybe I just make to much out of sleep, but getting proper rest one reason why I'm still as healthy as I am, although I wouldn't know my true health since never go to the doctor.
And my mood not as 'bright' as it should be cause started drinking again, which does effect your mood, ye you feel good while in that 'drunk zone', but afterwards that whole 'down' effect hits and throws your moods off.
I just seem to be going in circles.
Stuck in a repetitive orbit.
I need a new trajectory, one towards a different, more fun, reality.
Now days though, seems that better world lays within, and not 'out there'.
Hard for me to sleep straight through the day, it just is, so I have to break it up.
Sleep itself is weird.
Like if have to stay up all night do to job, seems no matter how much sleep you get during the day, you still go through drowsy period at night.
Also odd how one short 'power nap' can restore you better than caffeine can.
It's like a 'reset' button for your body or something.
One 15 minute power nap is like 2 or more cups of coffee, I find that odd, but in that 15 minutes, body able to restore whatever it has to internally, to make you alert again.
I took a power nap last night, and you know your in a power nap when able to 'dream' during that time, when you sleep deep enough to have dreams...will study the science behind that later when time allows.
Last Edit: Jul 10, 2020 12:09:43 GMT -5 by X factor
Sleeping during the day makes me feel like a vampire, but have to for night job or else have to fight off drowsiness during job, and I have the type of job you definitely cannot fall asleep on while performing.
But I'm slowly getting use to it.
I have to work an extra day this week, which will throw everything off.
I feel worse right when ending over night shift, is when I feel the most drained and discouraged.
And I still say the only fiscal prosperity future most average working types have anymore is winning the lottery.
If failed to invest when younger, if can't save above and beyond income, than what hope is there?
Either you work till dead, become homeless, or possibly win the lottery.
And now days if old, (it will get worse 20 years from now), but if old, look at generation coming up behind you....those street protesting types who don't value rule of law, just think when they're in power, control nursing homes, just think how little regard they'll have for life.
Think when they're in positions of trust, think how little patients they'll have with the elderly.
But this is for another section, shouldn't get myself worked up here, after all this section is about sleep and sleeping.
Last Edit: Jul 18, 2020 16:12:37 GMT -5 by X factor