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Sleep
Sept 13, 2020 13:32:00 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 13, 2020 13:32:00 GMT -5
Slept long and deep I slept long and deep, or maybe it's that I slept 'deep', which makes it feel that it was long. In other words so drained, from overnight job, that when came in and finally able to sleep, slept deep...and when you sleep deep, it feels like you slept long. And dreamed very deep as well. I slept so deep, that it feels like the person I was last week is gone, wiped, but I know that's not the case, I guess I just feel 'refreshed'. But still, I look at myself, and actions over previous few days, and it feels foreign to me. What I thought was important just a day ago, seems mute now. Maybe that's what deep, soul resetting sleep does for you, it wipes your circuits clean.  Here's the thing though, others have no idea your mood changes, so what you say to others, or express to others is 'dead' to you, but not to them, cause they only remember the 'old gone energy of you', inside of their mind, and from there they create they're own synopsys of a artifiscial you created by their brain, and not yours. In other words the 'you' inside of their mind is not you, but rather their recreation of you. So while they're steal dealing, in their mind, of the you from days ago, by this time, you're a newer you that has nothing to do with the you of a few days ago. It would be nice if able to send people 'updates' of you, the way browsers send computers 'updates', or systems 'up date'....it would be nice if we could send updates of ourselves to others so that they're not always lagging behind who we are or who we're becoming. A smart person will realize this on their own, and automatically delete the you of a few days, weeks, or years ago, and always allow only the 'current' you to exist. But very few human beings have that capability. I'm one of the few that does. Not even Christians have that capabbility, even though they swear up and down that 'Jesus' forgives the world. But most Christians spend their time condemning the world, I can't tell you the last time a Christian has forgiving anyone. Cause there really are no Christians, rather just people with large egos who use religion as an excuse to crush others. Anyways, that's enough for now. I'm sure mood will change again within the hour, thus outlook will change also.
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Sleep
Sept 22, 2020 8:31:48 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 22, 2020 8:31:48 GMT -5
Woke up, now just want to go back to sleep again
Woke up, stirred around a bit, now want to go back to sleep.
Turned on the news, same old crap, same ole noise, same ole bickering, now just want to go back to sleep.
Was going to go shopping, why?
Waste money, buy stuff I don't need, same o same o, changed my mind, now just want to go back to sleep.
Even my most dull dreams seem more exiting than what today has in store.
Back to sleep for a while.
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Sleep
Sept 23, 2020 10:08:04 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Sept 23, 2020 10:08:04 GMT -5
Been sleeping a ton lately, maybe it's my way of trying to reset body and mind.
Sort of like trying to erase previous days, and so sleeping so much that it's almost like when you do wake up, get up, it's like being born again, or born 'anew'.
Solid dreaming through it all to.
Although sadly face still looks the same, no sleeping beauty effect, darn.
I was hoping maybe face would look younger when woke up, nope...oh well.
Starting to get cooler where I'm at also, that I welcome.
I will stir around a bit, then go back to bed and sleep, but later tonight I'll have to stay up.
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Sleep
Oct 20, 2020 3:52:31 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Oct 20, 2020 3:52:31 GMT -5
I slept like 12-13 hours straight yesterday, I slept all through Monday, I slept so long that when I woke up, I thought it was Monday morning, but was actually Monday evening and the sun was going down...I thought the sun was rising, so when looked out sliding glass door again, it was dark, then I really was confused, I thought I had gone into some kind of a time warp. And mind you I don't look at clocks in my place, there are no clocks, so I never know what time it is unless hear it on the radio. I was all confused, thought it was Monday morning, but instead it was Monday at sunset when I awoke...I slept through the whole day, didn't even wake up to go to the bathroom, that was just weird.  |
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Sleep
Oct 22, 2020 16:44:34 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Oct 22, 2020 16:44:34 GMT -5
Not all sleep is good sleep
I watched one of those southern urban 'B' gangsta or gangster movies years ago, about a southern crime organization (a small one), but in the movie while a dealer was grooming his successor, a word of wisdom he passed onto him was
'Not all money is good money'
And then later that dealer was taken out.
That line has always stuck with me, not all money is good money.
But with me, I translate it for my life as meaning 'Not all sleep is good sleep'.
What do I mean by that?
I don't know, sometimes the volume of sleep doesn't always make one feel rested or charged when awake, or even happy, sometimes to much sleep can even have a depressing effect on one's moral.
One thing for sure, you can't really sleep away unhappiness, you can escape your unhappiness for a while when sleeping and dreaming, but the same things your unhappy with before sleep, are still there even when you wake up, it doesn't just go away.
And if you sleep in the wrong position, you can get sore actually.
I think diet, what you eat before you sleep, can effect your sleeping mood also.
Well I'm awake and done sleeping for a while, and my mood is about a 3 or 4 out of 10.
It's like I'm just 'here' and that's about it, awake, but nothing really to look forward to, just going through the motions type of thing.
If could If could just fall back asleep for another 6 hours, I'd be happy with that.
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Sleep
Oct 31, 2020 3:21:36 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Oct 31, 2020 3:21:36 GMT -5
Time for some deep sleep right now, deep sleep and deep vast dreams.  ZZZZZzzzzzz..... |
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Sleep
Nov 14, 2020 4:59:55 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 14, 2020 4:59:55 GMT -5
Need some sleep right now, it's been a very long shift
Need some sleep right now, long shift.
Lights shall go off, and I don't care what comes at me, to sleepy to care..back soon.
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Sleep
Nov 16, 2020 6:15:41 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 16, 2020 6:15:41 GMT -5
I can't sleep right now, which is not good, cause means when I do finally fall asleep I'll be sleeping through much of tomorrow.
Also, when can't sleep that means I start eating, out of boredom.
My whole sleep cycle is just thrown off right now for a few reasons, odd job schedule and other stuff.
So when off, not working, it just throws everything off.
Also, right now I don't feel like doing nothing except for doing stuff that doesn't matter.
Being wealthy is being able to spend your whole life doing stuff that doesn't matter.
(meaning if inherited wealth, if had to work for that wealth, that's a different story all together, I'm talking about those who just inherit wealth while young, I'll never know what that's like)
The only time I feel wealthy is when I do stuff, have the time to do stuff that doesn't matter.
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Sleep
Dec 4, 2020 4:06:14 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Dec 4, 2020 4:06:14 GMT -5
Funny thing about bed or sleep is, you don't initially want to go to bed or sleep, but then when finally do, then you don't want to wake up or get out of bed once in it.
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Sleep
Jan 5, 2021 6:25:38 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jan 5, 2021 6:25:38 GMT -5
Can't really sleep right now, so writing about how can't really sleep in hopes that I'll burn off some mental energy so that when do lay down again can sleep. Tomorrow just seems totally 'grey' to me, the idea of 'work', gross. Sometimes I just feel like taking 3 months off, I spend less when I'm not working anyways. It costs money to work when you think about it, gas, food, wear and tear on vehicle, increased chance of getting in accident, blown tire, mechanical failure, risk of getting injured on job. Work is stressful, or can be, we take a lot of risks just commuting to and from work daily, look at all the accidents, every morning accidents, that would not have occurred if those involved were at home chilling instead of racing to work. This idea that we just have to work work work, even if a bit ahead of bills, why? They even shame you on applications with all the 'Work history' bs and 'fill in the gaps' bs. As if not working is a bad thing. That mindset is a sick one, corporate pigs see those who labor for them as chattle, not cattle but chattle...one class above slavery. If things don't change soon though, I meay seriously just consider taking 2 months off this year, or longer. May do that for the rest of my working years, just take 2-3 months off a year cause I feel like it. I'm going to be poor anyways, so what's it matter? Just pay up on rent 2 months in advance or 3, so that not stressed about it and just live, live, explore, create. Something many companies just don't seem to want you to do. OK, maybe now I can sleep...I doubt it but will try.  |
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Sleep
Feb 23, 2021 6:16:59 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Feb 23, 2021 6:16:59 GMT -5
Can't seem to sleep right now, I feel a bit anxious, but not sure why, like I should be doing something, but not doing whatever it is I should be doing.
So instead I just 'stall' by staying awake.
Or maybe I just don't want to give up the time, even though not doing anything meaningful with it, cause once it's gone, that 'now time', than will never come back.
And I guess every day is one day closer to nothing, or the grave.
Who knows why I can't sleep right now, or don't feel like it.
Maybe I'll try watching another movie.
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Sleep
Feb 27, 2021 3:04:39 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Feb 27, 2021 3:04:39 GMT -5
Every cell in my body is screaming at me to go to sleep and shut'r down, the body that is.
Or sleep so body can 'repair self'.
So I will oblige.
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Sleep
Apr 6, 2021 3:04:21 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Apr 6, 2021 3:04:21 GMT -5
I'm going to turn off the lights, and the darkness will be my blanket  Well, after seeing this, I don't feel so bad.
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Sleep
Apr 16, 2021 3:34:13 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Apr 16, 2021 3:34:13 GMT -5
Sleep and the immune system
I notice like on days I work, when up for around 18 hours or so, between waking up and finally getting home and finally into the bed, I notice on those days, the longer I stay awake, the less healthy I am, as in my immune begins to fail me a bit, as in cold symptoms, muscle aches, ect.
Conclusion...sleep is vital to one, you, me, whomever, having a strong immune system.
Not just any type of sleep, but proper sleep...is why I'm going to bed now to restore self.
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Sleep
Jun 4, 2021 10:12:33 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jun 4, 2021 10:12:33 GMT -5
#%^@ south of the border contractor maintanance man woke me up, now I can't fall back to sleep, and without proper rest, rest of day won't be as good to me as if fully rested.
J-zz knocked on my door and all so they could paint, can't write down what I really felt like doing to them.
Snatched out of sleep after long work shift by some...ahh let me shat up, it's just my 'mood' speaking.
It's not their fault.
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