Moods

Tonight I will shut self in and just hide from the world.

I think the 'world' I'm trying to hide from though is the 'world' within my own head or mind.

You have to be very careful with your moods, you learn this as you age

Our moods are like our bodies A/C units, they regulate our tempurature, and a hot humid house doesn't feel so good, but a nice cool one does, on the inside, well same with moods.

Thinking our self into a bad mood is not good for one's health

Is why people should learn how to 'hulk down', not up, especially men, no, actually women to.

If day ahead seems miserable, well the mind is a powerful tempurature regulator, so if day ahead seems miserable trick mind or convince mind that it's actually going to be a wonderful day, even if day dreaming is involved in that process, hulking down, is what I call it, or others may call it meditation of the mind

Cause your mood only effects you, unless a boss or something and yell at others, but as average person or worker, your mood will generally only effect you and your body.

Anger takes up so much valuable energy...so I've taught myself to 'hulk down' rather than hulking up, and your own body will thank you for it by giving you better health and vitality.

Not sure how to feel right now.

Just not sure.

Not ready for the world today



I'm really not in the mood for the world today, not ready to meet the world today, yet.

I just want to stay hunkered down.

Sometimes my life feels like a bad production, as in play or movie, gone wrong.

I'm not sure what the ending will be like anymore either.

My life is starting to make less and less sense to me.

Not sure if I'll ever pull it together or not anymore.

If I could just flip a switch right now, and painlessly evaporate into nothing, I think I would.

Well, I guess it's easy to say that since there is no such switch.

In a odd mood, not sure if it's a post alcohol fueled or lack of mood or something else.

Did have a upsetting or lack of conversation with aloof family members, mostly got no answers or voice messages, which made me kind of emotionally snap, and being a bit drunk on top of that ended up probably saying things fueled by that moment.

But if wasn't drinking doubt I would of said anything.

Drinking can really magnify your emotions and take you all over the emotional map.

It's not that you're wrong when drunk, it's just that when drunk you tend to handle things differently.

Then last week got caught up in a very short social media spike on new site, but as usual it was all fluff.

Social media, for most, is just fluff, initially you get lots of views, hits, favorites ect, then it just levels off.

But what happens is you get a taste of 'fame', and so become obscessed with putting out a better video or post than before and before you know it your wasting all your emotional time, creative mind, on BS.

Cause now days, unless you score really big on social media, it means absolutely nothing in turns of revenue.

All you can hope to do is aquire enough followers so that than can later come out with a product, brand it, and then hope that your popularity drives sales of said product, from you brand on a tea cup to T shirt, stuff like that.

But for most, it just never happens, and all you end up doing is making a fool out of yourself in front of many, is why I never use my real name or real looks when I post images of self online, makes zero sense to do so unless posting for some serious business account or something.

But if people see you silly once, then try to be serious later, someone will dig up when you were acting silly.
But if they don't know what you really look like and never used your real name, that's not so easy to do.

Is why every photo or image of self I upload to social media is blurred, doctered, special effects, ect.

Either way life is short, and when older, sickly then dead, none of it will matter.

Especially in my case when already pretty much a loner and socially separated from most, heck I don't even like going shopping anymore, there's just nothing out there I want to see, no one I feel like running into, and those I do think I'd like or find interesting, well, they're never interested back at me, cause in the real world I go out looking very dull and bland, kept sure, but bland.

Where as online, can fix self up the way you really would like to be and look, and so the same folks or person who may think you're bland in real life, when they see your image online suddenly they like you, but have no idea you're the same person they snubbed their nose up at in the real world while walking down the grocery store isle.

The one good thing is I have at least the next 3 days off, so that should be plenty of time for me to sort out my mood or moods.

And I'm hoping I can do it without alcohol, cause alcohol just pulls you down.

Once outside of college, and or if not going out to a bar, it really makes no sense to drink heavy all the time if always alone, doesn't make sense but plenty of people do just that, or worse yet they get caught up on harder drugs, and with U.S. boarder wide open, plenty of street drugs pouring right over, and plenty of people on the streets falling victim to those drugs.

The hardest drugs I ever do, aside for beer, is probably Bayer Aspirin.