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Moods
Nov 16, 2022 19:18:25 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 16, 2022 19:18:25 GMT -5
I even feel to sad to want to drink beer, I mean sure if drank beer, I'd get that short, instant, fake sensation of joy and happiness and not caring, but then it would wear off, and yuk. Sometimes it's just best to deal with moods 'as is', and see where they take you, cause that's how you're able to figure out the cause, by paying attention to self, environment and what you eat.
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Moods
Nov 18, 2022 6:50:22 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 18, 2022 6:50:22 GMT -5
Amazing how quickly moods can shift and change, how just one day of you being in a different environment, can totally change the Paradyme of your mood, and how you relate to yourself.
I think everything in life is basically how you relate to yourself first, if loving yourself, life seems better, those around you seem more fun. But when self feels diminished, you tend to shrink away from others, and or your environment.
Mindless work, is one way that will rub your mood the wrong way, for sure.
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Moods
Nov 20, 2022 21:46:06 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 20, 2022 21:46:06 GMT -5
In a weird mood today, well since probably Wednesday in that I just don't feel anything I do matters. And for the first time in a long while, I don't feel like putting out creative content, cause I just don't feel it matters, or that others, with means, will simply borrow from it, re-arrange it, and make money off of my creative content.
My mood is just inward right now, nothing matters to me at the moment, other than my body and how I personally feel physically.
I feel deflated, I suppose, and not sure why.
No one has ever really cared about any of my content, and it's never bothered or effected my enthusiasm before, but now, I don't know, I just feel flat.
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Moods
Nov 20, 2022 21:48:44 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 20, 2022 21:48:44 GMT -5
⬆️⬆️⬆️ continued from above
I just feel like everythings a waste of time now, I have no output type of energy.
I just feel like melting into the ground. Is it something in my diet?, to include herbal teas I'm drinking that's mellowing me out? I don't know.
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Moods
Nov 20, 2022 21:51:03 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 20, 2022 21:51:03 GMT -5
Someone may of wanted, or needed a ride tomorrow in the morning, well, I just turned phone off as to not be bothered. I don't feel like being the 'happy warrior' anymore, used, only when people have no other option, and then I have to inconvience self.
I think that's just the consequence of being unloved, is that soon you just stop seeing a reason to love others, I suppose.
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Moods
Nov 20, 2022 22:03:50 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 20, 2022 22:03:50 GMT -5
I guess my mood is that if I always have to convince the world, society, other people that I matter, than I obviously don't matter, and for some reason, that doesn't bug me at the moment..it's actually peaceful not to matter, cause for the most part, others leave you alone.
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Moods
Nov 25, 2022 16:17:53 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 25, 2022 16:17:53 GMT -5
I'm home now and need something to boost my mood.
Job ended a bit early today, good, cause mentally I wasn't there, and felt terrible the day after being off on T day cause I drank beer the previous night.
I guess I'm going through that hi/low post drinking dynamic.
The only person really torturing me in this world, is me.
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Moods
Nov 25, 2022 16:20:22 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Nov 25, 2022 16:20:22 GMT -5
And sometimes, just not having anyone around, can make moods last longer than they should, cause when around others you like, you're not just focused on self.
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Moods
Dec 9, 2022 22:39:49 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Dec 9, 2022 22:39:49 GMT -5
My mood is very, 'off' right now, flat, dull, not thrilled, deflated.
Nothing or no one excites me right now, not even myself, is that due to lack of love?
I hope this mood passes.
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Moods
Dec 13, 2022 16:08:19 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Dec 13, 2022 16:08:19 GMT -5
Boy do I feel totally flat today...just flat, no cheer, no anything, just flat.
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Moods
Dec 18, 2022 1:14:47 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Dec 18, 2022 1:14:47 GMT -5
Mood or a state of physicality, not sure, but whatever it is, it has me feeling hallow on the inside.
I think maybe cause I lack inspiration right now? Or maybe it's something I'm taking, as in herbal tea, certain vitamins, or ingredients in some certain food?
Or maybe cause it's winter time?
Who knows. I just know I feel flat on the inside. Maybe cause I feel I don't matter anymore to anyone?
But if emotionally based, normally I fight that stuff off cause I'm naturally optimistic all the time, but why not this time? Has the world, or reality, finally beaten me down?
I don't know, let's see how i feel after a nights sleep.
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Moods
Jan 23, 2023 19:25:12 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jan 23, 2023 19:25:12 GMT -5
When in a sad mood, sometimes I like watching some horror/sci-fi movie to prop me up emotionally. I don't know, something about seeing others struggle on film to survive, makes me not take my own situation so seriously.
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Moods
Jan 23, 2023 19:31:52 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jan 23, 2023 19:31:52 GMT -5
I'm in a mood to watch apollow 18, to make my own situation not seem so bad
I mean spider like rocks that come alive to eat you, I'm not facing nothing like that in my life.
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Moods
Jan 26, 2023 21:08:01 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Jan 26, 2023 21:08:01 GMT -5
Evening/nights when I'm off, didn't work, vs evening and nights where I did have to work during the day, are like night and day to me, as far as my mood and outlook goes.
When I'm off, I just feel so much more free, alive, compared to nights/evenings, I come in and no I have to work the following day.
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Moods
Feb 1, 2023 2:04:26 GMT -5
Post by X factor on Feb 1, 2023 2:04:26 GMT -5
I've been giggling to myself a lot this evening. Laughter and giggling is healthy, I guess, I mean it's better than crying and sobbing, I suppose.
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