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Post by X factor on May 27, 2024 9:49:14 GMT -5
Memorial Monday
If I don't groom and get dressed, I won't accomplish nothing today.
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Post by X factor on Jul 8, 2024 10:47:35 GMT -5
Monday realities What a wasteful but necessary wasteful morning.Lost wallet over the weekend, then found it in fridge after a cancelled cards...so this morning had to go to bank to re-activate card/get new one... First place their card printer broke, so had to drive to other place = waste of time. But finally got what I needed...a new debt card with a new number. And it's good to reset your card at least once a year anyways to prevent forgotten withdrawals and renewals you forgot about. Everyone leaches off of your card, our numbers are floating around there everywhere, department stores, Walmart, corner stores... I need to go back to just paying cash when shopping locally. Anyways, it's Monday and I'm already behind and feel drowsy even though drank some energy coffee drink and protein drink, yet already feel drowsy... probably cause they put so much sugar in those drinks.As such I will lay down and take a quick nap to reset thy mind, soul and body.
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Post by X factor on Aug 26, 2024 8:16:02 GMT -5
It's Monday It's Monday. I worked out late yesterday evening in the dark, but woke up this morning feeling more like I had a hangover than that I had worked out the previous night. Body chemistry is just weird like that. Well, I'm going to workout again after this, why not, what else can I do with my anxioty other than workout. Drink? Hell no, not right now, that would just make things worse, like putting your head in the sand. Right now, the best thing for me to do is to stand up to reality and just face it 'as is', ugliness and all, just face it, get punched in the face by it. People are ugly, the human condition is ugly.The person who acts the nicest on the surface is ugly and harbors deep down or even surface biases and bigotry towards others. There's actually no reason for Jesus to have died for anyone on this planet, we're just flesh, we age, get sick, and rot like all other lifeforms. We manipulate truths and stories to fit our own needs, we are an ugly species, our natures are ugly, period. --------------------------------- Heck, even people who claim to know Jesus are ugly and vile and bigoted and mean and scared on the inside and use 'Jesus' and the gospel to slay others. Anyways, nothing much any of us can do unless lucky enough to be surrounded by friends and family that value you. And with that, it's time to go work off some anxioty and workout for a bit.
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Post by X factor on Sept 2, 2024 18:39:17 GMT -5
Amazing how I'm able to waste such large swaths of the day doing absolutely nothing of significance I think I'm the worst waster of time ever, or near it. Suns already going down, I've done nothing all day, other than waddle with self...wow. And still got stuff to do, rent, this and that, none of it's fun. I drank last night, and still worked out today. Please slow down time...time moves to fast, or mans scheduling of time does. It's mans fast paced world that stresses me out, not so much time. Anyways, better get busy with next thing on the to do list. it's still summer, today was a holiday, the Russian Ukraine battle continues. And generally, people still suck. It's Monday.
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Post by X factor on Sept 16, 2024 12:15:28 GMT -5
Monday realities, my own Monday realities, my own. It's already 1 pm, wow, just been waddling around in the bed all morning and afternoon. I fell off track last week...started drinking beer again, but have since stopped...(Hopefully) I mean heck, I had some beer last night, but have since dumped remaining beer down the drain, it's time for me to get back on track. Thankfully since I'm already in decent shape, I can recover a lot faster than if I weren't in shape....I even got in a short but decent workout this morning. Anyways, I've got some work to do on my moral this morning. I have no one to lift me up other than myself. Anyways, it's Monday, all the corporate monsters are awake, calculators at work, repo people at work, bill collectors back at it, billing cycles restarted...everything ugly about society is awake and running again today on this Monday.
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Post by X factor on Sept 16, 2024 21:36:16 GMT -5
 Don't be fooled by the hearts in the gif...I'm not really loving today, not even...not hating it either though, rather did my best to avoid it by laying with self in bed most of the day and by keeping all telecommunication devices off and or not responding to any, to include emails. My current reality is that I don't know what's going to happen from week to week now...or where I could be living just a month or two from now, or where I'll be working, so yeah, lot's of uncertainty right now. I just kind of melted today do to all the stress of it...and then people still want your money....schools, courses, this and that, but if go broke no one will give a dam about you...they don't now, but at least if they sense you have money they make you feel important. Also, I think drinking, along with taking half dose V type pills, just kind of messed with my mood, or inner body chemistry...so I'm dry now, I need to clean out my system and get my mood and mind back. After I post this, I'll create a 'to do list' and face all the media, email and texts, that I so tried avoiding earlier today.
I've never been more afraid of or weary of the future than I am now...I just literally don't know what's next or how I'll handle it.
I go through things alone, and so that makes it more scary... moving, alone, is scarier than moving with a friend or family or anyone. Moving alone, all by yourself, can be horrifying....but you have to act brave for yourself. Anyways, let me stop before I depress myself by thinking about it. It's still Monday, weeks go by so quick now, seems like yesterday was also last Monday. if I didn't keep track of the days on here it would all just be a blur. |
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Post by X factor on Sept 30, 2024 9:01:05 GMT -5
It's Monday I'm no match for today. It's like the day has already won.
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Post by X factor on Oct 28, 2024 15:33:03 GMT -5
Monday What a waste of a day. Slumping all day since getting up a bit after 12 noon. Still slumping. I drank last night and acted a fool. Nothing good or positive to report, same o same o. I'm always getting in my own way. It's Monday.
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Post by X factor on Oct 28, 2024 18:50:00 GMT -5
Monday thoughts 
Hasn't been the most inspiring day for me, not at all.I must of drank more heavier than I thought last night...I should know better, but that's what lonliness will do to you at times. And I still may have a few tonight, rather than continuing to feel like this for rest of evening. Drinking makes you irresponsible for real. Makes you paranoid, irresponsible, lazy, and even sickly, if you over do it. Aside from my own personal issues, not much else to say. It's been a boring dud day, and if filled the majority of my time, once out of bed, writing gibberish on line as I'm doing here...gibberish. I guess that could some up my life as of now... gibberish.
It's Monday, Halloween's in a few days.
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Post by X factor on Nov 18, 2024 17:57:26 GMT -5
Wasteful Monday Not going to lie, it's been a terrible day, or I should say a very unproductive day. My body aches. I haven't drank in a week, but I think I'm working out to hard for my age, and so body breaks down quicker than it can rebuild, is my guess. Just not a good day dealing with Gov crap, application crap, it's all one in the same now. And most gov services are automated so if something goes wrong, or you lose your password, you're screwed. F automated sh-t. I'm screwed and promised myself I'd never be in this position to depend on others ever again, as in a stupid as job.. I'm so freagen screwed. Put the last of my funds on this online company I'm trying to start...if it works, great, if not, what a fool, once again, I will be. Man and his complex system sucks. Simple is good, but modern man has forgotten that. Oh well, I got energy but no drive. It's freagen Monday.
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