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Post by X factor on Nov 24, 2013 20:46:18 GMT -5
How do I feel right now? Uncertain and uncomforted.
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Post by X factor on Nov 24, 2013 20:54:35 GMT -5
I do not want my environment to change.
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Post by X factor on Nov 24, 2013 21:55:20 GMT -5
I have nothing to hold onto right now.
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Post by X factor on Nov 24, 2013 22:37:56 GMT -5
You have me... Be still...listen...and hold on...
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Post by X factor on Dec 11, 2018 22:05:38 GMT -5
Males who hurt others are some of the weakest, most frail, entities on the planet.
Criminal males, their not 'tough', rather their weak, and is why they act out in violent ways.
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Post by X factor on Dec 11, 2018 22:09:13 GMT -5
Many 'Felon' males are like 'hobbits' on the inside, stuck in adult body, in that just never matured...
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Post by X factor on Mar 6, 2019 19:33:11 GMT -5
I wonder how many adults are bullied by other adults?
I mean think about it, age is a artificial thing set by a Government, but do you really think bullying stops accurring to adults?
Age may change, but personalities often do not.
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Post by X factor on May 5, 2019 22:24:08 GMT -5
Gosh I wish I could just be held by someone or something stronger than me....
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Post by X factor on Aug 14, 2020 8:07:22 GMT -5
In real life, people avoid me, cause the closer they come to me, the smaller they appear to self.
The closer they come to me, the dirtier they appear to self.
The closer they come to me, the shorter they appear to self, figuratively and literally.
People/monsters, can only be right about me from a distance, where validation is not needed.
Added note:
And on top of that, I look decent, sometimes I look 'Hollywood' even.
So not only are they wrong, but then they see I actually look better than them, and in better shape, then they really freak out.
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Post by X factor on Sept 10, 2020 15:16:04 GMT -5
I think if I ever found a date, started dating again, I wonder if I'd even continue to write on here? If a real human actually filled the void inside of me, would I even need to write on here anymore? But if real human had creative spirit like myself, we'd probably write even more, together, and write scripts and submit them to studios, and start own movie production company and more. But women, or even guys, like that just don't seem to exist where I stay, every ones glued to 'grey'. Glued to grey. Also, I notice, in real life people understand, can participate in 'real evil', but aren't capable of re-producing that evil in a theatrical type setting. Many can't seperate the two. You'd be surprised how 'low level' most people are, in their thinking, many think on the same level as a dog or ape, just basic cause and effect stuff, basic emotional food, water, shelter type mindset.
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Post by X factor on Sept 15, 2020 20:50:24 GMT -5
It's that time of the day, 24 hour cycle, where thy mind just needs to shut down for a bit
It's that time of the day where thy mind just needs to shut down for a bit.
I've been going non stop all day mentally, and the mind, believe it or not, is considered a muscle, and when worked, the mind does indeed burn a lot of calories.
And I've burned plenty today.
And still no where near getting down what need to.
But you just gotta know when to 'stop', and rest.
That's what TV is for, or even 'The Zone' is for, for those who want to rest and study and observe other peoples lives while comparing it to your own.
Last night had a lot of ugly dreams.
Wonder if tonight will be the same way?
Also, realize now I can no longer save the world or enlighten it or others.
So many, greater than myself, have come and gone and left zero impact in this world.
I'm 1/500 of what some are, so if they couldn't make a change, what makes me think I can or could?
Time for some rest.
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Post by X factor on Sept 21, 2020 17:28:23 GMT -5
The Twylight Zone I wish Rod Sterling were alive today, so that he could make sense of today's world through his writings and 'skits'. His shows still put me at ease for some reason. Back then, when you watched performers on TV or in the Movies, you really couldn't tell they were acting, it's as if they were playing themselves. What has happened since then? Seems everything gets better with time, except acting. And like Rod Sterling, the Zone mansion here, won't be appreciated until years later. I'm tired, I need a nap.
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Post by X factor on Oct 21, 2020 14:44:15 GMT -5
If you ever spoke with me over the phone, you'd love me....
I'm tired right now.
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Post by X factor on Mar 4, 2021 11:53:45 GMT -5
Wrestling with Pain last night Nothing will humble you more than wrestling with 'pain', massive pain, for whatever reason, a illness, bad food, stomache ache, terrible headache, whatever the cause of the pain, it will humble you, assuming you get better that is, if you don't get better than it will simply own you. Well I had a lot of pain last night while in bed, not fatal pain, but probably more like allergic reaction pain?, food pain?, or ingrediants in food pain?...who knows. Either way it was uncomfortable and seemed to concentrate on the left side of my head, jaw, eyes. The only escape was to fall back to sleep as soon as I could, but sometimes the pain would even work it's way into my dream scenerios. Well it's morning now, took some vitamin C before bed, and deep sleep always helps your body fight off whatever it is. I do feel a bit better now, but long day ahead. I think I will water fast, or try my best to, cause seems it's only when I eat stuff 'out there', that I always come home feeling a bit worse. I tell you what though, I feel very 'small' now, totally at the mercy of 'nature', and good health, something I've taken for granted, cause sure, maybe I just had a painful episode of some bad food ingrediant or ect, but imagine when you can't recover? There's coming that day when none of us will recover from whatever ails us, that's what having a strong immune system does, it helps us to recover. But the pain felt like that Monster in above picture, it just would not stop and just kept zapping me over and over and over again...no mercy was shown, until now. I feel like a _____ who got shown who the real boss is last night as I lay in bed, I was ravaged by 'Pain' and shown no mercy, until now. This will be continued.
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Post by X factor on Mar 4, 2021 12:29:07 GMT -5
Seems like both God and Satan or 'The Beast', enjoy seeing you in pain, and then both seem to 'rejoice', when you get on knees and beg for mercy Some times I wonder if 'God', and 'The Beast' are one in the same...like good cop, bad cop scenerio.
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