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Post by X factor on May 30, 2024 14:42:12 GMT -5
Not sure if I can ever get out of my own way, in order to get ahead in life...whatever the hell that even means anymore at this stage of living.
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Post by X factor on Jun 3, 2024 12:39:34 GMT -5
I'm realizing age really has little to do with your mental energy or even physical energy.
Compared to successful people, regardless of their age, they're driven...and maybe early success in life keeps you driven.
Someone like me, I realize I'm not really driven, as of late....instead I sit around, drink, and say what I want to do, but when actually comes to putting in the time, taxing my brain with new information, it's like I cheat myself, I find reasons or excuses to fail, cause that's what I'm use to. I'm used to failing, failing has become a habit with me.
I'm going to have to obviously change that if I want a more purposeful future.
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Post by X factor on Jun 3, 2024 12:40:47 GMT -5
I'm good at like short spurts of focused energy and attention, but after that, it's like I get mentally lazy and just want to be left alone to do my own thing, which is nothing.
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Post by X factor on Jun 15, 2024 11:24:04 GMT -5
I need some more and better clothes...I lost 98% of my clothing after apartment fire...and all I wear now has mainly come from cheap discount clothing stores, cheap fabric...sure, some of it looks good, but doesn't last long.
I lost like 2 closets full of clothing, 3 actually...starting over from scratch as of about 1 1/2 ago.
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Post by X factor on Jun 25, 2024 2:20:28 GMT -5
I look way younger than I am, I wonder in a way, if that's helping to keep me healthy.
I mean if they brain sees that I still look young, have lots of hair, I wonder if the brain then tries to keep me chronilogically young, or is it biologically?
My only really flaw though is I still drink beer, probably to much at times.
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Post by X factor on Jun 27, 2024 22:11:03 GMT -5
For some reason, I really resent the feeling of having to wake up early and be anywhere...I guess cause I've done it for so many years for nothing.
But tomorrow getting up early to help another move some items, but it still feels stuffy to me.
I dread disrupting my morning sleep for anything, and then having to drive for about 1 hour, yuk, using my own vehicle = gas, wear and tear...yuk.
I hate cities now, I hate traffic, I hate how every ones always in a rush.
Way to many people in this nation, and thanks to Joe Biden, now 20 million more have surged in, and not all of them are good productive types.
Many of them drive, without licenses and if hit your car, will just keep going...thanks Joe Biden.
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Post by X factor on Jun 28, 2024 5:54:22 GMT -5
Today is here  Today is here...what else can I say.
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Post by X factor on Jul 10, 2024 11:44:37 GMT -5
I've wasted a ton of time on two thing in the past
1. Drinking
2. The internet/social media
And now I'm trying to steer clear of both, the best I can.
I've got internet burnout, for real.
And social media...gag...so sick of the control games.
Social media has turned into the most bias medium out there.
At first, everyone given a fair share of views...but then the silicon valley snakes weaved their way in and started playing favorites, and after that social media has never been the same.
Most of those who post have been reduced to nothing more than babbling Democrats, one line Democrats, with no follow up, nothing...one and done comments.
And you read those comments while all your info being harvested by 3rd and 4th and 5th and 10 party 'partners'....
Sell your soul and privacy just to see yourself type a comment online...no thanks.
At least here it's quiet.
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Post by X factor on Jul 17, 2024 4:11:21 GMT -5
It's a liberating feeling, to late at night, or early morning, when no one is around, to just go outside and stand, while naked, like our ancestors probably did a lot, and was no big deal.
Not sure how the West, white folks, have turned nakedness into a sin or something dirty.
I think that thinking that nakedness is dirty, in and of itself is a sin.
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Post by X factor on Jul 27, 2024 14:48:36 GMT -5
Just got back from random misc shopping..
1. Two long pillows
My bed is basically made up of pillows. I never sleep flat, and body is always contured while in bed laying down.
2. Tobaco chew.
3. Mattress comforter
4. Yet another back pack
5. Some health drinks, supposedly
6. gas/fuel for vehicle
7. 2 lottery tickets
8. some chips and beef jerky
And that about does it, but it all came to over 100 dollars.
And now I'm back home, and whatever.
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Post by X factor on Aug 6, 2024 23:04:06 GMT -5
Can't stay up to late tonight, or early morning, cause have to meet someone tomorrow.
Also, I have like homework to do with an online course, but for whatever reason, just can't bring myself to finish reading and then taking a end of chapter quiz, which requires time and brain power.
But I must get it done here soon.
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Post by X factor on Sept 12, 2024 18:39:15 GMT -5
Weird phase of my life, what's left of it anyways.
But then I heard someone 20 years my senior ask kind of 'whatever time I have left' type of sentiment.
I guess we're all given different time lengths down here.
It's about quality time though...I mean there's quality time, then there's agonizing time, which can seem like hell to the one going through it.
Just telling someone 'Just be happy to be alive', is a stupid statement if being alive to them is torturous and agonizing.
Life can be abusive, or what we go through can...and we can even abuse ourselves if we adopt the wrong mentality or do drugs, or anything else that harms us.
Fitness is the best remedy for most of what ails us, that I can say.
People are happiest when they're fit.
It's when we're not fit, and then seek alternative ways to be fit is when we can go down destructive rabbit holes.
And today's society if filled with a lot of rabbit holes, believe me you.
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Post by X factor on Oct 10, 2024 23:59:32 GMT -5
There was a time I so badly wanted to be apart of regular America.
Family, house, dog, cat, 9-5...not sure what happened.
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Post by X factor on Oct 24, 2024 18:53:57 GMT -5
Terrible drinking night, in that I begin acting stupid and strange in the texts I was sending to someone.
I screwed up, now I'm sure they think I'm strange, but I was drunk.
I didn't say anything mean, just weird stuff, like implying I wasn't even human, and or that there was more than one of me....stupid on my part.
When I'm drunk, sometimes I just really do suck.
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Post by X factor on Oct 30, 2024 8:31:57 GMT -5
Not really a morning person.
I've gotta train myself how to focus in the morning.
That's from drinking late at night and getting used to sleeping in late.
But when sober, clean, I have so much energy that it's hard to just lay in bed, or in my case a air mattress, and just do nothing...so I get up, my body gets up, but my mind is like still in just leave me alone sleep mode.
I've gotta change that for sure.
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